I remember sitting at my kitchen table while holding my newborn daughter, staring bleary-eyed at the glass of water Rollie placed before me. Rollie was an angel sent from heaven. Her wings may not have been visible, but I know for a fact they were there.
Rollie was my postpartum doula, and my husband and I don’t know how we would have survived those early days without her. When she observed on our first day together just how sleep-deprived and hormonal and besotted and bewildered I was, she asked, “how can we better prepare new mothers for this?”
I carefully considered her seemingly simple question. I mean, I had taken a really good childbirth class and I had devoured the words and opinions of as many pregnancy books and websites as I could possibly digest in 41 weeks. I had enjoyed many heart-to-hearts with my mom. I had friends who had babies. But there was nothing – absolutely nothing – that could have prepared me for motherhood. I was exhausted, I was fragile, I was clueless, I was sore, I was a mess, I was oddly sad, I was madly in love, and I was not…the…same. I felt changed forever. How does someone gear up for that, exactly?
So I looked up at Rollie, regarded her through my fog and fatigue and utter cobwebiness, and gave it to her straight. “You can’t,” I told her. “You just can’t”.
Parenthood, I have come to tell the moms with whom I work, is like an exclusive club that you join as soon as your baby is born. You can ask other members about it, you can research it, you can get a glimpse of what it might be like and you can check out the swag in advance. But it’s not until that baby is in your arms that you really, truly, on a visceral level, become a card-carrying member of the Holy-Moly-I’m-Wholly-Responsible-for-Another-Human-Being Association.
Therefore, think about whatever it is you can do now to give yourself and your family the best shot out of the gate. Shore up your relatives, your friends, your co-workers, your community. Explore the myriad of ways you can procure professional support (i.e. postpartum doula, baby nurse, meal delivery, housekeeping, etc.). If resources are limited, the bankrolling of any of the above makes an invaluable gift (so have your best friend spread the word when she sends out your shower invites). Most postpartum doulas also offer payment plans and some provide services on a sliding scale.
Get the scoop on what the postpartum period is really like from trusted sources. And check out the following game. It’s called, “Keep Your Expectations Low”. Wanna play? Here we go:
Close your eyes, imagine you are more bone-tired than you have ever been in your entire life. You are recovering from a marathon, and your hormones have flown to Tahiti leaving you to deal with the aftermath. Now, walk yourself through a day with a newborn who depends on you for literally everything, and remember: keep your expectations low. Nope -lower than that. Now, go even lower. Awwwww – it’s super cute that you see yourself getting dressed! Keep going, keep going…
If you all you pictured was maybe, just maybe, brushing your teeth and squeezing a shower in between feedings, then you are a WINNER!!
Why does accomplishing next-to-nothing except nourishing your baby, nourishing yourself, sleeping and perhaps getting in some personal hygiene events before you collapse into bed equal success? Because if you do much more than that, you’ll be pushing yourself too hard, that’s why. I know – this all sounds ridiculous now. It certainly did to me when friends warned me about taking it easy. But if you don’t heed this advice, and if you don’t secure some kind of support before you give birth, you will only set yourself back. And if you go down, who’s gonna be there for your little one?
Don’t panic. Of course you’ll achieve a new normal once the baby grows a little and you begin to feel stronger and get the hang of things. But the adjustment period is big – respect it as such, and your whole family will benefit.
You have so much to think about when you are pregnant, and at this point you are likely even making lists of your lists. But building a strong postpartum support system before your baby arrives will help ease your initiation into this pretty awesome club we call parenting.
Let Me Help You Create The Happiest Birth Experience Of Your Life...and Feel Well Supported Postpartum and Ease Into New Mamahood with my LOVE YOUR BIRTH Online Childbirth Course!
Whether you're a first time or experienced momma,
Or a midwife, doula, or birth professional guiding mommas..
Regardless if you are planning a birth at home, a hospital, a birth center or need a cesarean section, or if you are taking another childbirth education class…
You Really Can Create The Delivery Of Your Dreams
And have a blissful birth wherever you are.
More Precious Than A Wedding...A Birth Should Be A Celebration!
Let me show you how to…
- Understand the sensations of your body and connect your intuition with how your body is communicating and leading you towards what to do during labor
- Tap into your inner calm to deeply relax yourself,letting go of busy, stressful and fearful thoughts on demand for the health of baby
- Speak your truth from your heart in a way that deepens your relationships, sets clear boundaries, and has people listen to you and support you before, during and after pregnancy
- Trust yourself, connect with your body wisdom andcommunicate with baby in belly
- Connect with natural time and sync your body and mind up with your unique biological clock for ease from pregnancy to postpartum
- Reprogram negative patterns, stories, and beliefs that undermine your confidence, strength and self trust so you can rock your birth
LEARN EXACTLY WHAT POSTPARTUM IS, HOW LONG IT LASTS, AND HOW LONG IT TAKES TO FEEL BACK TO YOURSELF
HOW TO PREPARE DURING PREGNANCY FOR ADJUSTING TO CARING FOR A NEWBORN, BREASTFEEDING, HEALING AND RECOVERY (MANY MODERN DAY WOMEN ARE STUNNED TODAY ABOUT ALL THAT IS INVOLVED!)
LEARN PRIORITIES DURING THIS TIME FOR WHAT IS NEEDED, HOW AND WHAT TO DELEGATE TO ENSURE EVERYTHING THAT CAN BE, IS TAKEN CARE OF BY OTHERS AND OFF YOUR PLATE
HOW TO TRANSITION FROM DOING AND ACCOMPLISHING YOUR-TO-DO LIST, TO BEING AND IN LINE WITH YOUR AND YOUR BABY’S NEEDS
ESSENTIAL NUTRITION, HYDRATION AND WHOLE FOOD/HERBAL SUPPLEMENTS FOR POSTPARTUM
SELF IDENTIFY SIGNS OF POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION, ANXIETY AND PSYCHIATRIC ILLNESS VS NORMAL EMOTIONAL CHANGES SO YOU CAN GET HELP EARLY FOR POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION OR ANXIETY
RECEIVE COMPREHENSIVE HEAD TO TOE TRAINING ON WHAT TO EXPECT PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY, AND THE REASONS WHY, WITH SOME SUGGESTIONS/NATURAL REMEDIES FOR COMMON ISSUES SUCH AS:
- Lack of sleep and exhaustion
- Breast changes
- Colostrum to breastmilk
- Nipple soreness
- Bleeding patterns
- Perineal soreness and stitches
- Constipation and hemorrhoids
- Return to pre pregnant weight
- Return to cycle and fertility
- Return to sex
- Relationship changes
- Sibling adjustment suggestions
- Body image: how to love your postpartum body
LEARN HOW TO BE ON BABY’S BIOLOGICAL CLOCK
LEARN CUES ON HOW TO INTERPRET BABY’S COMMUNICATION INCLUDING SIGNS OF HUNGER AND TYPES OF DISCOMFORT
UNDERSTAND HOW TO SOOTHE AND COMFORT A FUSSY OR CRYING BABY
DISCOVER HOW TO PREPARE FOR BREASTFEEDING IN PREGNANCY TO MAXIMIZE CHANCES OF BREASTFEEDING SUCCESS (AND THINGS THAT UNDERMINE A MOM’S CONFIDENCE IN MOTHERING AND BREASTFEEDING)
UNDERSTAND “WHAT’S NORMAL” AND HOW TO IDENTIFY WARNING SIGNS TO REPORT TO YOUR MIDWIFE/PEDIATRICIAN
LEARN HOW TO KNOW IF BABY IS GETTING ENOUGH MILK, PEEING AND POOPING NORMAL AMOUNTS, EXPECTED INITIAL WEIGHT LOSS AND GAIN SO YOU CAN AVOID THE CYCLE OF NOT THINKING BABY IS GETTING ENOUGH, SUPPLEMENTING AND MAKING LESS BREAST MILK
Physicians and midwives around the world recommend my teachings to their pregnant clients and many Doulas across the country learn the secrets of blissful birthing from me to supplement their Doula Training & Certification process!
To learn more, visit: LOVE YOUR BIRTH Online Childbirth Course!
It is based on my years of experience, as a midwife and yoga teacher, helping thousands of women tap into their calm and live and birth from a place of grounded relaxation and joy.