Life Planning Methods for Parents of Children with Special Needs

April is around the corner, and it is autism awareness month. I bow to my dear sister, my inspiration, who does whatever it takes to be the best mother she can be to her son, my nephew, with autism, while balancing her own needs, the needs of her husband, the needs of her other daughter, my niece, and the rest of our family. My sister has risen to face her life with grace. She reads all the latest books, takes workshops, connects and networks with other families raising children with special needs or on the autistic spectrum, and is very active in her community and school district. She made sure my nephew had the best doctors, therapists and teachers as soon as he was diagnosed.  She does what she can to make sure her son feels safe, secure, accepted, and confident, as well as find and hone his unique gifts. 

If you have a child with special needs, check out this excellent article regarding life planning methods for parents of these children; it was graciously contributed by Jenny Wise, a homeschooling mom to four children including a seven-year-old on the autistic spectrum. I add some additional resources for parents of children with special needs. #SpecialNeedsParents #SpecialNeedsParenting #AutismParents #AutisticSpectrum #AutismAcceptance #AutismAwareness #AutismLife #AutismLove #AutismSpeaks #AutismSupport

Image by digihanger (Pixabay)

Parents of children with special needs often begin worrying about long-term care from day one. Depending on the needs of your child, he or she may be able to attend college, build a family, or have a stable career. If, on the other hand, your child will need ongoing care for the rest of his or her life, there are other characteristics and hurdles to consider.

Believe it or not, your life planning strategy for your special needs child should begin right now. Waiting until your child becomes an adult is often setting yourself up for frustration and unnecessary stress. The sooner you begin thinking about the future of your child, the sooner you can start preparing for that future - and the better that future will be.

In this article, we’re going to share some useful planning methods that will help you get started.

1. Don’t Go It Alone

Whether your child is looking at lifetime care or a fairly typical future, you should never try to go through this process alone. Every special needs child requires unique attention and planning. The earlier you find a professional to help you juggle the load, the more comfortable you’ll be throughout the process. It will also make tackling financial and estate essentials far more manageable. You can read more about these essentials through Family Connect.

Image by Bessi (Pixabay)

2. Think About Finances

 There are multiple ways to help your child financially as he or she ages. Important areas to consider include federal and state benefits (such as Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid), special needs trusts, and 529 ABLE accounts. These accounts are special savings accounts put together for individuals with special needs. The assets in the account will be allowed to accumulate (and be withdrawn for qualified expenses) tax-free. Read more about these financial options through Farmers Insurance.

3. Assume The Worst

The unfortunate truth is that, in many cases, parents do not live long enough to help their special needs child cope with the real world. There are additional issues to be considered - including a will and a letter of intent. This letter should describe how you wish to handle care for your child in your absence. It is your responsibility to put together life insurance resources and detailed information about the special needs of your child. You can learn more about the legality of life planning through Wrights Law.

4. Think Beyond Legality

While there are dozens of legal issues to consider when planning a future for a child with special needs, you also need to think beyond the legal requirements. What health care providers will your child use? What kind of therapy will be available? Who would you prefer to use as a caregiver? And think about special contingencies and money or instructions you’ll want to have in place should they be needed. For example, what if your child is physically injured in a car accident and needs special care in addition to the daily care you might already be planning for? Or what if your child develops a substance abuse problem or addiction? Who will be in charge of helping them get into treatment and how will the costs be covered? Write down a list of questions that have entered your mind about the future. Take as much time as possible to answer each one. This is how you cover your bases.

Image by Bruloos (Pixabay)

5. Stand Your Ground

There might be other individuals (some parents, some not) who will question your decision to start life planning as early as possible. Don’t be afraid to stand your ground. You are not thinking too hard or being unrealistic. You are being a concerned and responsible parent. Any professional involved in the process will affirm that statement. It’s never too early.

The bottom line is simple. The more you plan ahead, the better off your special needs child will be. If you start planning before your child is a teenager, you’ll have at least six years to make solid arrangements for his or her future - and that is parenting at its finest.

Guest Author

Jenny Wise is a homeschooling mom to four children including a seven-year-old on the autism spectrum. She created her website  SpecialHomeEducator.com as a pure service forum for sharing her adventures, and chronicling her ups and downs in homeschooling her children - including her child with special needs, and connecting with other homeschooling and parents of special needs families. 

Below are some wonderful additional resources.

This is a must watch fact-based story of an autistic woman who became one of the top scientists in the humane livestock handling industry, and a hero to autistic people everywhere.

I am passionate about changing lives. This 44-day course is changing lives. Vital Mind Reset is a program that will hold your hand and help you heal your life without a prescription. It will also introduce you to a community of people just like you – all working to transform their lives and revive their power and joy. Be a part of this community. Be a part of something greater and get yourself back! This course is a must, by renowned holistic psychiatrist Dr. Kelly Brogan, author of NY Times best seller 'A Mind Of Your Own', a dear friend and trusted colleague I can vouch for personally and support whole heartedly.  

Enjoy radio shows from some of the world’s greatest teachers in spirituality, health, and wellness. Begin your journey of personal growth and healing now by listening to HayHouseRadio.com – radio for your soul. Hay House also brings these teachers and healers to you with their wonderful array of online courses. that enhance the quality of life of individuals and ultimately the world we live in.

How Can Prenatal Yoga Help In Birth, Postpartum and Beyond?

“Most people have no idea how good their body is designed to feel.” ~ Kevin Trudeau.

How can yoga help you? Learning techniques to relax yourself, focus, feel grounded, balanced, strong, and how to release and surrender will empower you to have a much easier pregnancy, childbirth, postpartum and life as mother.  Growing, birthing and caring for your baby involves your body, mind, heart, gut and spirit, as well as your baby's.

What a picture of optimal health, radiant joy, inner calm, beauty, balance, strength and flexibility. These are some of the advantages of regular yoga practice. If you don't do yoga on an ongoing basis, you might just feel so much better if you give it a try, and take some weekly awesome traditional classes with phenomenal teachers, to see which resonate most with you. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Stunning photo of this angel mama @Nikk_kee is by @crystaleee . 

Yoga is an ancient self-help science of optimal health and well-being of the body, mind, heart and spirit, now demonstrated by much scientific research, and modern technology has made it much more accessible to so many more people. I am passionate about helping mamas relate to it and make it their own. Regular yoga practice has numerous HUGE benefits in pregnancy, birth, postpartum and beyond - from decreased common discomforts, aches and pains, to increased strength, balance, flexibility and stamina for advancing pregnancy and active birthing, improved ability to relax and cope, decreased inner stress and its toxic effects, enhanced connection with baby, easier labor with less risk of intervention, quicker postpartum recovery, and so much more. It really helps you feel your best physically and emotionally.

Do these mamas look like they are in hard labor? Well they are. They are using their yoga, meditation & breathing skills to help them cope with the waves of intense sensations, by keeping them calm, focused, grounded & strong - all of which eased labor, as they ROCKED their birth!

Whether you are an advanced yogi or never did any yoga before, regular practice of prenatal yoga (yoga modified & specific for pregnancy) has numerous benefits in pregnancy, birth, postpartum & throughout life, & even helps your baby’s physical & mental health & development. Those inner stress hormones are toxic for the both of you, & the inner relaxation biochemicals are like health magic for you & your baby. Pregnancy is actually a great time to start yoga - as you embark on this life - changing journey to birth & becoming a mother. It is not too late to start, and the more you practice, the more these skills become habitual, so you can easily tap into them in labor or any life challenge. Below is one of my favorite books on how prenatal yoga can enhance your journey from pregnancy to birth and mamahood.

As a midwife and a practitioner and teacher of yoga, I have seen many women once they become pregnant, use this wake up call to take charge of their health & do what they can to make healthier choices for themselves & their growing families; & as mamas incorporated yoga into their lives, I witnessed even more remarkable improvements in their health, how it was a life saver for them during childbirth, how it eased their postpartum recovery & their ability to take on the challenges of caring for their babies with more equanimity & resilience. Healthy life is far beyond eating clean and exercising, and taking the whole food natural supplements I recommend - although those are real important. 

I love authentic yoga so much I want to encourage all to experience how it thoroughly enhances the health of mind and body. Here are some ways regular practice improves the emotions and quality of life, and in the next yoga post I will focus on all the physical health advantages. - Yoga promotes relaxation, peace of mind, and inner calm which decreases anxiety. - Yoga makes for happier, more positive mood and sense of well-being, which decreases depression. - Yoga opens the heart to compassion, deeper connection with oneself and others, which improves self awareness and relationships; this also results in increased consciousness of destructive lifestyle patterns, and a desire to overcome dysfunctional habits and addictions...and also better sex. - Yoga enhances self esteem, inner emotional strength, resilience, and coping ability, which helps one remain steady with greater equanimity in face of hardship, drama, bad news, unsettling events, suffering and life challenges; it can ultimately lead not only to acceptance of much of life that is not in our control, but also to embracing these experiences as gifts, catalysts for change and personal growth. - Yoga enhances spiritual connection no matter what religion, belief system or faith. - Yoga leads to improved creativity and can be such fun if done just about anytime anywhere, such as on a tree over a lake.  

But we can't forget the many physical health advantages. - Yoga eases common discomforts of pregnancy, leads to shorter easier labor & birth, & quicker easier postpartum recovery. - Yoga improves energy & vitality, maintains youthfulness, & eases symptoms of menopause. - Yoga improves sleep & reduces insomnia. -Yoga decreases muscle tension, soreness & pain, & actually eases pain of many chronic conditions. - Yoga reduces inner stress & the illnesses it causes, which constitutes the majority of modern day conditions.- Yoga improves muscle strength, function & tone; it also improves flexibility, balance, coordination & posture, all of which not only improves any athletic performance but also decreases risk of injury. - Yoga improves health of bones, muscles, joints, & cartilage, & reduces risk of problems there, including common affected areas in back & neck.- Yoga improves health of cardiovascular, circulatory, endocrine, gastrointestinal, & respiratory systems, and decreases risk of their related diseases. - Yoga balances metabolism, helps with weight loss, leads to healthier eating, self care & lifestyle, which reduces health problems of obesity, & other conditions from unhealthy habits & addictions. - Yoga boosts immunity to infection & cancer, & decreases risk of inflammatory, autoimmune diseases & allergies. - Yoga improves focus, memory, attention, & sharpness, which decreases age related cognitive decline.

Yoga is not a religion, although it can enhance your spiritual connection whatever your belief system; nor is it just a physical exercise, although that is a wonderful perk. It’s not just for those who can do splits and headstands, but it does increase your flexibility and strength on many levels so you might find yourself doing them one day. It is not just about taking a class either. It can be a part of everything you do! It can be done anywhere, anytime - even in the park, and with your minis. 

If you don't do yoga on an ongoing basis, you might just feel so much better if you give it a try, and take some weekly awesome traditional classes with phenomenal teachers, to see which resonate most with you. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. In between local classes, or if you cannot get to one, there are classes online at yogaglo.com or try out some of these wonderful video classes.

Prenatal Yoga

* Element Mind & Body Experience: Prenatal & Postnatal Yoga with Elana Brower  

* Prenatal Yoga with Desi Bartlett 

* Prenatal Yoga: Open Your Body, Connect to YourBaby with Mara Branscombe 

* Prenatal Yoga for Rejuvenation and Calm with Mara Branscombe  

* Prenatal Kundalini Yoga with Akal Khalsa 

* The New Method - Baby & Mom Pre Natal Yoga by Gurmukh Kaur Khalsa 

Here is a list of my 10 favorite yoga supplies  - what I use in my own yoga practice at home and when I teach. I share them with you so you can ROCK your regular home yoga practice and have what you may find helpful in labor as well. Many mamas just love the restorative poses with props to sink into and feel supported by, just to relax and recharge after a long busy day.

If I can help a mama who wants more personal attention, to learn yoga on Skype, private, or small group local classes, then why not ?! It’s been beyond awesome to more personally connect and yoga with mamas all over the globe. So, if you are interested in my private, semi-private or actual prenatal and postpartum classes on Skype or in my local studio, click here and I will contact you for more info and scheduling. Classes are geared for healthy pregnant or postpartum mamas with some, little or no previous yoga experience. But an experienced pregnant yogi is always welcome. I look forward to working with each of you!!

When starting anything new, as well as along the journey of developing any set of skills, I am reminded that Gothe said "everything is hard before it is easy"; but I am also encouraged by the words of Max Ehrman, "beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle on yourself". So take baby steps, throw out the negative self judgement, remember we are all on our own unique paths, and our only competition is ourselves. 

Let Me Help You Create The Happiest Birth Experience Of Your Life...

Whether you're a first time or experienced momma,

Or a midwife, doula, or birth professional guiding mommas..

Regardless if you are planning a birth at home, a hospital, a birth center or need a cesarean section, or if you are taking another childbirth education class…

You Really Can Create The Delivery Of Your Dreams.

And have a blissful birth wherever you are.

More Precious Than A Wedding...A Birth Should Be A Celebration!

Let me show you how to…

• Understand the sensations of your body and connect your intuition with how your body is communicating and leading you towards what to do during labor

• Tap into your inner calm to deeply relax yourself, letting go of busy, stressful and fearful thoughts on demand for the health of baby

• Speak your truth from your heart in a way that deepens your relationships, sets clear boundaries, and has people listen to you and support you before, during and after pregnancy

• Trust yourself, connect with your body wisdom andcommunicate with baby in belly

• Connect with natural time and sync your body and mind up with your unique biological clock for ease from pregnancy to postpartum

• Reprogram negative patterns, stories, and beliefs that undermine your confidence, strength and self trust so you can rock your birth

Physicians and midwives around the world recommend my teachings to their pregnant clients and many Doulas across the country learn the secrets of blissful birthing from me to supplement their Doula Training & Certification process!

To learn more, visit:  LOVE YOUR BIRTH Online Childbirth Course!

It is based on my years of experience, as a midwife and yoga teacher, helping thousands of women tap into their calm and live and birth from a place of grounded relaxation and joy. 

I am passionate about changing lives. This 44-day course is changing lives. Vital Mind Reset is a program that will hold your hand and help you heal your life without a prescription. It will also introduce you to a community of people just like you – all working to transform their lives and revive their power and joy. Be a part of this community. Be a part of something greater and get yourself back! This course is a must, by renowned holistic psychiatrist Dr. Kelly Brogan, author of NY Times best seller 'A Mind Of Your Own', a dear friend and trusted colleague I can vouch for personally and support whole heartedly.  

Get a 10% discount on your Sleepod purchases ataskrembla.com-use the code SWEETHOME to get your discount.

Enjoy radio shows from some of the world’s greatest teachers in spirituality, health, and wellness. Begin your journey of personal growth and healing now by listening to HayHouseRadio.com – radio for your soul. Hay House also brings these teachers and healers to you with their wonderful array of online courses. that enhance the quality of life of individuals and ultimately the world we live in.

What a picture of optimal health, radiant joy, inner calm, beauty, balance, strength and flexibility. These are some of the advantages of regular yoga practice. If you don't do yoga on an ongoing basis, you might just feel so much better if you give it a try, and take some weekly awesome traditional classes with phenomenal teachers, to see which resonate most with you. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Stunning photo of this angel mama @Nikk_kee is by @crystaleee . “Most people have no idea how good their body is designed to feel.” ~ Kevin Trudeau.

Photo by Julia Swyers

Art by Catie Atkinson @spiritysol.

@infinitelovedoula

The Strength of A Woman

@mikalacatherine

"Today, along with every day since this day, I am so proud to be a woman and a mom." wrote inspired mama @mikalacatherine. "I had the incredible opportunity and privilege to carry my little boy for almost 41 weeks. But what I am most proud of is the fact that I was able to give birth to him. It's something I think about literally every day. I did it. Women every day do it. It blows my mind because the frequency of births makes it seem common. But let me tell you, it is not common. It is quite literally the worst and best thing I have ever done. Having given birth has made me so proud of all moms because now I know what each and every mom has had to go through with pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum. None are easy. All are important and meaningful. I know I risk seeming conceded with this post, but I am so dang proud of myself for doing it. Some days I am in awe of that fact. So today, I am so proud to be a woman and to stand with other women. With all mommies and caretakers. With all moms whether they have carried their babies physically or in their hearts instead. I am honored."

I honor of the billions of strong women who have found their strength and birthed (majority at home, naturally) since the beginning of time. Billions. Something to remember in labor, to encourage and empower. 

I saw the exam table and thought what a great place for warrior - because women are warriors, period - no matter where and how they birthed, whether they had babies or not.  In all these years I have met so many amazing women, women who have faced and dealt with a range of serious life challenges, many many women who grow, birth, feed and raise little humans, and those who were unable to even get pregnant or carry their pregnancies. The warrior pose is in honor of all women who find their strength at times when it seems impossible - and those are the women I have been blessed to know and learn from. 

Warriors are not born and they are not made…Warriors create themselves through trial and error, mistakes and limitations, pain and suffering, being upside down, wide open and vulnerable – and that is strength. Warriors get up and try again in spite of all of it. “Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you thought you couldn’t.” Ashley Greene. We women are stronger than we know, and we find that out when we have too. And once we tap into that power, we birth our babies, we handle the challenges, we birth ourselves...each and every day, with the little hardships and the mountains that seem impossible to climb...until we do.

Art by Catie Atkinson @spiritysol.

"Behind every man stands no woman. There is no greater man than the man that can acknowledge the woman standing right next to him." ~ Rachel Wolchin. Women rock! Mothers rock! We are strong because we had to be, wiser because we learned through our powerful experiences, always doing our best with what we know, have and are faced with at the time; we are admirable warriors of honor because we stayed the course, did not give up despite the challenges and struggles, and had the courage to plow forward irregardless of fears. Our blessings are that we have a fan club - the little ones we grow within us, birth, nurture and take care of, who adore us without caring about the mess, the laundry, our to-do lists. They are the little ones we adopt or foster. They are the people we deeply care for who are not our babies. We are beautiful to them no matter how we look or dress; we are perfect to them even when we make mistakes. They want our time and loving attention more than any material gift. I would love women to be treated and to treat themselves like the goddesses they are.

Photo by Megan Hancock Photography

Let Me Help You Create The Happiest Birth Experience Of Your Life...

Whether you're a first time or experienced momma,

Or a midwife, doula, or birth professional guiding mommas..

Regardless if you are planning a birth at home, a hospital, a birth center or need a cesarean section, or if you are taking another childbirth education class…

You Really Can Create The Delivery Of Your Dreams.

And have a blissful birth wherever you are.

More Precious Than A Wedding...A Birth Should Be A Celebration!

Let me show you how to…

• Understand the sensations of your body and connect your intuition with how your body is communicating and leading you towards what to do during labor

• Tap into your inner calm to deeply relax yourself,letting go of busy, stressful and fearful thoughts on demand for the health of baby

• Speak your truth from your heart in a way that deepens your relationships, sets clear boundaries, and has people listen to you and support you before, during and after pregnancy

• Trust yourself, connect with your body wisdom andcommunicate with baby in belly

• Connect with natural time and sync your body and mind up with your unique biological clock for ease from pregnancy to postpartum

• Reprogram negative patterns, stories, and beliefs that undermine your confidence, strength and self trust so you can rock your birth

Physicians and midwives around the world recommend my teachings to their pregnant clients and many Doulas across the country learn the secrets of blissful birthing from me to supplement their Doula Training & Certification process!

To learn more, visit:  LOVE YOUR BIRTH Online Childbirth Course!

It is based on my years of experience, as a midwife and yoga teacher, helping thousands of women tap into their calm and live and birth from a place of grounded relaxation and joy. 

Educate and inspire yourself, ready your body, ready your mind, ready your heart with my list of TOP BOOKS of every category you can imagine listed  - with links on where to get them as books, listen on audio, or read them on kindle. The better prepared we are for a situation, the better the outcome will be. I feel passionate about empowering and educating women to get the most out of their womanhood, pregnancy, birth, postpartum, breastfeeding, mama, yoga and life journeys!

I am excited about this course is by a best selling author whose personal story, insights and life changes after recovery from terminal cancer and a near death experience are beyond inspiring and riveting. Not only is it such a testimony to her strength, I feel it can help moms with many of the physical, emotional and psychological challenges associated with pregnancy, postpartum and beyond, also help all women and the professionals who serve them, and really every human being....to find their strength that is already within them.

Birth Story: When Things Did Not Go As Planned

Usually births do not go as planned, and the unexpected happens. I encourage pregnant mamas to actually expect the unexpected, make birth references known and fully prepare for the birth they want, choose their provider and birth team wisely, then be very present, flexible and surrender to and actually embrace whatever happens each moment as meant to be because it did happen (a higher level would be to know it happened for your benefit - but that is a spiritual perspective); I do what I can to help them know that they did their absolute best - there is no judgement, no place for shame and blame, while acknowledging their feelings and telling them it will take time and support to process. Most of the time the unexpected is innocuous and could simply mean you birthed in your bed when you wanted a waterbirth, you told your mom to take your kids out when you previously wanted them there, or you wanted your partner to help catch your baby when he ended up holding you in a standing squat and you told him not to move as baby was crowning. Sometimes it could mean medical intervention was needed in any setting; sometimes, less commonly, it means transfer to the hospital from a freestanding birth center or home, when being there is no longer safe or appropriate because of complications, and sometimes that could even mean surgical birth. This mama @holisticnutritionandme loved her birth and was extremely grateful for her care and the outcome, because she had excellent, personalized, compassionate, sensitive and respectful care and because of her attitude and mindset. She know she did her absolute best and interventions were needed. She writes her beautiful birth story in spite of the challenges. #BirthWithoutFear  

"My baby girl, Liliana Dylan, was born on July 5th at 41+2 weeks pregnant, weighing 7lbs 13oz and 21" long. I was in active labour at home for 12+ hours with my midwives, doula, husband (Daniel) and mom. I got through contractions by alternating between using a birth pool, my exercise ball, walking and moving around. Staying still intensified the pain for me. My#midwife broke my water and I reached 6cm dilation. For hours my contractions continued to get longer and stronger but I wasn't dilating further than 6cm. My baby was posterior which made it harder for her to drop and gave me excruciating back pain. My #midwives recommended we transfer to the hospital for an epidural and pitocin due to lack of progression. So Daniel and mom drove me to the hospital while I was on all 4s in the back seat trying to make it through my contractions. Another 19 hours of labour at the hospital and 2 hours of pushing and my baby finally arrived! Although I didn't get the natural home birth I had planned for, I'm so grateful for the way everything turned out. Birth plans are great to have, but ultimately you have to roll with whatever you're served with when the time comes. Getting my baby out safely was always my one and only priority. My midwives and #doula were warriors and cared for me from start to finish. Daniel and mom were my rocks and did everything to make me as comfortable as they could. I couldn't have done it without every member of my birth team. Liliana has been doing great, she nurses like a champion and is the light of my life." What an inspiring #BirthStory and outlook to learn from @holisticnutritionandme. It is also an ideal model of supportive home to hospital transfer for the compassionate use of epidural and needed interventions that enabled mama to have a deeply positive birth experience despite the challenges, despite her #homebirth not proceeding as planned, despite hospital care that became necessary.  All#BirthIsBeautiful and #WomenAreAmazing.

 I compiled a list of my favorite reads on the journey from birth to birth and postpartum, that also include inspirational books about being in the now and embracing what is - all with links on where to get them. Below is one for LIFE, as most of it does not go as planned and we all inevitably face unexpected challenges. I hope this helps!! 

The benefits of cultivating a regular yoga and simple meditation or spiritual practice are huge, when it comes to staying present, calming yourself, and embracing all of life - even when things happen that we do not want. To create your own home sanctuary, a place where you can practice, here are the supplies I use and recommend. Yogaglo.com has wonderful online classes and here are some great prenatal and postnatal yoga classes on my favorite list of movies - when you can not get to a local class.

Enjoy radio shows from some of the world’s greatest teachers in spirituality, health, and wellness. Begin your journey of personal growth and healing now by listening to HayHouseRadio.com – radio for your soul.

Educate and inspire yourself, ready your body, ready your mind, ready your heart with my list of TOP BOOKS of every category you can imagine listed  - with links on where to get them as books, listen on audio, or read them on kindle. The better prepared we are for a situation, the better the outcome will be. I feel passionate about empowering and educating women to get the most out of their womanhood, pregnancy, birth, postpartum, breastfeeding, mama, yoga and life journeys!

The Estimated Due Date and Preventing "Being Late"

Photo by Melissa Oosting

VIDEO CAN BE SEEN HERE.

Most mamas like to count baby's toes and fingers. The amount of creases in the baby's feet are simply one of several signs this healthy baby is "post term", born in the weeks past estimated due date, when this baby was ready to be born. It is one of the assessments we use to calculate the new baby's gestational age (how many weeks baby was in utero). I marvel how this calculation often differs from pregnancy dating. I had a mama in my practice who came to me with her last 4 pregnancies. She told me her first 4 babies were born 4 weeks past her estimated due date, but they were all evaluated as term at birth, without any indications of being "late." Her last 4 babies were also born 4 weeks after her estimated due date, had I calculated it based on the first day of her last period alone; but they actually arrived at just the right time, all evaluated to be term - as I used a variety of other assessments, including past history, cycle characteristics, and when she had intercourse, to get a more accurate dating for her pregnancy.

Art by Catie Atkinson @spiritysol.

What is this due date and how can you more accurately help calculate it to prevent false diagnosis of postdates and its associated risks of induction? The estimated due date is just that - an estimate of when mom and baby of a healthy pregnancy will go into labor; it is an estimate of how many weeks old your fetus is at any stage of your pregnancy - which is important to know, as this impacts your maternity care and the well-being of you and your baby. If you go into labor, it would be important to know that your baby is term and there are no issues with the baby's gestational age. For example, if you go into labor at a certain point before your estimated due date, it's important to know if it is too early for your baby to be born, your preterm baby would be at increased risk and need intensive care, so efforts would be made to try to stop it. Likewise, if you are past your given due date, in many modern obstetrical practices, in an attempt to avoid small risk of postdates for babies that increase after 42 weeks, there is a cascade of interventions from frequent testing of fetal well-being to induction when you are not really due or ready to labor yet; this can lead to increased stress, more painful harder labor, anesthesia and other unnecessary interventions that may culminate in an unplanned cesarean birth. Actually, only 5% of women give birth on their due date, even with the most accurately assessed pregnancy dating.  I like to use the language due month, as most babies come a few weeks before or after that date - more commonly a week or more after it for first time mamas.

@yogawithalanna

So, when speaking about due dates and postdates, I like to start with education and prevention during preconception, before a women gets pregnant. And even if pregnant, we can still do some detective work and might come up with helpful information that may impact your pregnancy dating. I advise women to know their fascinating bodies and menstrual cycles, to track how often their periods come, when they have signs of ovulation and when they had or did not have intercourse.

Art by Catie Atkinson @spiritysol.

With this knowledge, mamas can TAKE CHARGE OF THEIR FERTILITY to either prevent pregnancy, or try to become pregnant, learn when they conceived and even when they are pregnant before a positive pregnancy test. This is one of my favorite books on the subject.

Mamas who know their date of conception, more details about their cycles, and their past pregnancy histories (when they went into labor previously and what the gestational age assessment was of each of their babies), have a much more accurate due date than basing it on first date of last period alone. This is one of many ways mamas can become empowered and proactive.

It also helps to connect with nature, and your connection with it - your body is nature, has its own biological clock, and you might want to look into how it relates to the moon cycles (a very interesting study). It helps to connect with the rest of who you are - your heart, your gut, your spirit, and get out of the busy overthinking, worrying, calculating mind that has become way too dependent on manmade, digital precision of industrialized time, stay present in each precious moment, the only place where life exists, surrender to what you can not control of the natural world anyway, and learn ways to self relax and tap into a state of inner calm (why I love yoga and mindfulness so much). As a midwife, I certainly have other date assessment skills I use, and other suggestions to help each mama on a more personal level, but these are great places mamas can start. But no obstetrical provider or any human, can predict when a mama will go into labor. So one of the great lessons of pregnancy is being ok with not knowing. Might as well enjoy the journey, as this is as real as life gets.

Art by Catie Atkinson @spiritysol.

But in today's times,  I do feel compelled to debunk some myths. As I indicated above, the due date is not written in stone. It is an estimate around an average time of when mamas go into labor, plus or minus a few weeks on either side. Although I like referring to the 'due month', that has not taken hold in the modern obstetric community, obsessed with measurements. At least we can use it between us and with your extended families, who tend to call you every day after your estimated due date, to find out if you had your baby yet. Yes, now we have ultrasound that, if done in the first trimester by a practitioner with expertise in pregnancy dating, the accuracy of the estimated due date increases a bit. But not all mamas want a sonogram. Again, only about 5% of babies are born on their estimated due dates anyway. And it is often miscalculated, if based alone on the first date of the last menstrual period. That date calculation only applies if a mama’s cycle comes every 28 days, assuming she ovulated day 14, and that still could mean baby could be born on average between 37 and 42 weeks. Healthy term babies can also be born before or after this time frame.

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This is my pregnancy dating wheel that has been with me as long as I can remember. Now its online. I like the ones that take cycle length and date of conception into consideration. Most women having regular cycles have variation, with sometimes as much as 21-45 days between them. And that is normal. There are many factors such as stress, illness & travel, that can prolong the time between last period and next ovulation, but once a women ovulates, the next period comes close to 14 days later - unless she conceived shortly before or at ovulation.

As a nurse since 1985 and a midwife for over 20 years, I meet many women who are well informed and know their bodies and histories, and many who are not familiar but are very eager to get empowered and learn more. I have had plenty of women know their exact date of conception from fertility treatments and go into labor weeks before or after their due dates. I have had women who knew exactly when they conceived as they were keeping track, only had intercourse at or before ovulation once as for example they were or partner were busy or not together. And they give birth close to estimated due date. Each mama and story is different. And I have had women not have a clue about their cycles or when they got pregnant. But more often than realized, modern medicine does not know nearly as much as people might expect. Women can empower themselves with some knowledge and they have more wisdom than they think; too much trust is often placed in technology and 'experts' over themselves. I question the value of of having to be so accurate with exact calculations when it comes to healthy women experiencing healthy pregnancies. These are illusions, manmade constructs, industrialized time applied to horticultural biological time that no human can control or predict. This is a fascinating study and discussion if one has an open mind to consider other perspectives, and the more I practice the humbler I become, the more awe I have in a process that has far more wisdom and power than any human being, no matter what their training and background. 

Oh the journey of waiting and not knowing when, has been a journey traveled by billions of women since the beginning of time - it's part of the sacred wonder and surprises along the way. Welcome to the Tribe De Mama where we get more and more familiar with nature's own clock, realize there is so much we can not control, and get comfortable with not knowing.

This gorgeous shot of @heidijohnson13 was captured by darling mama's sister @sarahandthewave.

For personal questions and need for individual guidance you can schedule an online consultation with me- this is one of passions and areas of expertise. Many mamas ask to consult with me about their fears of going past their due date, & want to know what they can do, as they don't want to be medically induced & have the barrage of testing which can cause much angst, and the subsequent interventions which increase risk of cesarean. I love helping mamas in person, and now with this global IG community, via Skype or phone conversation. You can also take my unique online ROCK and LOVE YOUR BIRTH course, which basically guides you through your pregnancy to birth and postpartum journey, as I guide the families in my midwifery practice - without the hands on care, to prepare and plan for an experience of their dreams.

Photo by Megan Hancock Photography

Let Me Help You Create The Happiest Birth Experience Of Your Life...

Whether you're a first time or experienced momma,

Or a midwife, doula, or birth professional guiding mommas..

Regardless if you are planning a birth at home, a hospital, a birth center or need a cesarean section, or if you are taking another childbirth education class…

You Really Can Create The Delivery Of Your Dreams.

And have a blissful birth wherever you are.

More Precious Than A Wedding...A Birth Should Be A Celebration!

Let me show you how to…

• Understand the sensations of your body and connect your intuition with how your body is communicating and leading you towards what to do during labor

• Tap into your inner calm to deeply relax yourself,letting go of busy, stressful and fearful thoughts on demand for the health of baby

• Speak your truth from your heart in a way that deepens your relationships, sets clear boundaries, and has people listen to you and support you before, during and after pregnancy

• Trust yourself, connect with your body wisdom andcommunicate with baby in belly

• Connect with natural time and sync your body and mind up with your unique biological clock for ease from pregnancy to postpartum

• Reprogram negative patterns, stories, and beliefs that undermine your confidence, strength and self trust so you can rock your birth

Physicians and midwives around the world recommend my teachings to their pregnant clients and many Doulas across the country learn the secrets of blissful birthing from me to supplement their Doula Training & Certification process!

To learn more, visit:  LOVE YOUR BIRTH Online Childbirth Course!

It is based on my years of experience, as a midwife and yoga teacher, helping thousands of women tap into their calm and live and birth from a place of grounded relaxation and joy. 

Do you need supplements for preconception and pregnancy? Here are some of my favorite I recommend to mamas in my practice.

Make your Red Raspberry Leaf and Nettle herbal infusion.....rich in needed nutrients and specifically nourishing for pregnancy, birth and postpartum. Place 1 oz of dried red raspberry leaf, 1 oz of dried nettle leaf in a quart-sized glass canning jar with strainer, fill it with boiling water, cover and steep for at least 2 -4 hours at room temperature. Strain and place in a covered pitcher. You can make it in larger quantities and store in the fridge. For taste, dilute with water or steep for less time (but no less than half an hour), add lemon or lime juice, mint leaves or a teaspoon of honey. Drink 1-4 cups daily hot or cold.