Sign Up For My Newsletter!

Sign Up For My Newsletter!

Beautiful Home Birth Story of Baby 5: Keys to Transforming Fear

20161203-BO4A0861.jpg

“The birth of Ezra was one of redemption and renewed faith in letting go and letting love be our covering. The whole pregnancy I had to ignore toxic fear, and just believe that he was going to be okay and we were going to be okay. With my four previous births, I delivered naturally, at home with a midwife and at a birth center in Norway where my husband is from. Each birth is story written in my mind, body and soul as a testament of faithfulness, strength and lessons discovered through seasons and growth ... separation and fulfillment. Somewhere in the practice of ignoring fear, I became ready for a birth that til this day, I'm at a loss for words on how to describe other than that I was so present that I could anticipate his decent, and catch him in a little less than two hours.                   

On December 3rd, the kids, my husband and I were doing what we had for weeks leading up to that day, preparing to meet the baby. For the kids, preparing was coloring pictures for the baby, talking about him and folding a handmade blanket over and over that my seven and six year old had made for him. For me it was cleaning, resting, eating a good meal and resting some more, going on walks, drinking herbal teas, watching the lunar phases and talking with my birth team. For my husband it was preparing the pool, helping with the kids and cleaning. On the morning of the third he picked up an early dinner for the two of us from our favorite Indian restaurant and when he came home, we sat down to eat. When I stood up, my water broke and we looked at each other with shock. It was 4:15 in the afternoon and this was it! 


I texted and called the birth team, my family and our friend who was going to keep the younger kids. Gathering the kids, getting into more comfortable clothes and Gaute filling the pool up, I had quickly progressed to contractions that were 3-6 minutes apart… deep, piercing and I would soon have to stop and go into a separate room to cope quietly as the friend arrived to bring the kids to her house. Anelyn stayed with us and I just knew that the baby would be born within a couple of hours. The midwife, Bethany, my friend Amber who's a doula and photographer and a midwife's assistant arrived soon after I had texted. Shortly after they arrived and checked on the baby, I got into the pool to labor through the deeper contractions. So close. 


The sun was going down, the water was warm, as the contractions came, in my mind I whispered and thought comforting and peaceful thoughts… ‘This is good, it's okay, I'm okay, this is good, I love you, baby, you're doing it, I'm doing it, you will be here soon, breathe, he'll be here soon.’ I said that it would be, ‘Just a couple more contractions.’ Sure enough, two more contractions and he was presenting, I reached down and pushed 1,2,3 and he was in my arms. I just wept and wept... It was 6:04 pm and he was in my arms, so perfect and peaceful. I wept a tears of joy and pure shock that I was gifted such a beautiful and empowering birth, I looked at my husband and his face was glowing with tears, my daughter was leaning over to get a look at her new baby brother that she prayed for, a dear sweet baby to love. The birth team surrounded us with love, supporting, documenting, celebrating and serving so peacefully. This was the Birth of Ezra.

Thank you for your powerful and inspiring work and allowing moms share our stories.”

Rockstar Mama: Christan R @mommareveur 

Awesome Photographer: Amber Rhodes IG @amberdenaephotography and @amberhodes 

20161203-BO4A0753.jpg
20161203-BO4A0742.jpg
20161203-BO4A0993.jpg
20161203-BO4A0895.jpg
20161203-BO4A1121.jpg
20161203-BO4A1065.jpg

There are so many wonderful ways to transform fear so common today, and have a beautiful empowering birth at home, in a birthing center or hospital. Excellent childbirth education and preparation in advance are crucial, and a major reason why I created my Love Your Birth course. It is a comprehensive online course that teaches women what they need to know about planning and carrying out the birth that they want in all settings - the hospital, birthing center or at home. It’s a course on how to have a holistic, healthy pregnancy for the body, mind, and soul - and is how I have guided thousands of women and their families in my midwifery practice for over 21 years. It contains a rolodex of my favorite resources with over 200 of the best books, movies and supplies I use personally and professionally with my clients, family & friends. Even diving into a fraction of this list will have you feeling empowered and prepared for conception, pregnancy, postpartum and parenting...It includes resources on improving and even ensuring ensuring healthier pregnancy and birth outcomes than the status quo, and preventing and healing from birth trauma so prevalent in the modern world!  Be prepared to do some research on your own, but knowledge restores your power. I also help you prepare your mindset for such a task, to debunk myths, and to reframe any current ideas or conditioning about pregnancy and birth that can use a change in perspective or that are simply incorrect and do serve you. After finishing the course, the idea is that you are now able to create and have the healthy, beautiful and empowering pregnancy and birth that you want. 

You can get a free nugget from my course - all about creating your ideal birth plan here. A huge part of having a birth of your dreams is getting clear your birth preferences, knowing the pros and cons about all the tests and procedures, all the interventions your may be faced with, so you can make informed decisions - rather than simply give over your body, your choice and voice to your health care providers and institution you choose.

  “Anne Margolis was my incredible midwife. She is practical, science-based, and vastly experienced, but most importantly, she’s an awakened woman here to light the path to your most joyful self. Anne is the incredible midwife who taught me, through this process, how to midwife my own patients’ rebirth experience. Her own educational course is a deep but manageable dive into her accumulated wisdom, packaged for your journey. Forget your childbirth class, and take steps to your most empowering experience. If you are thinking about conception, pregnant, or love someone who is, take it from me that her wisdom is life-changing.Yours in the truth.”    — Dr. Kelly Brogan MD

“Anne Margolis was my incredible midwife. She is practical, science-based, and vastly experienced, but most importantly, she’s an awakened woman here to light the path to your most joyful self. Anne is the incredible midwife who taught me, through this process, how to midwife my own patients’ rebirth experience.
Her own educational course is a deep but manageable dive into her accumulated wisdom, packaged for your journey. Forget your childbirth class, and take steps to your most empowering experience. If you are thinking about conception, pregnant, or love someone who is, take it from me that her wisdom is life-changing.Yours in the truth.”

— Dr. Kelly Brogan MD

I have a holistic approach to life, including healing after pregnancy and birthing. Nothing replaces abdominal toning and exercise for restoring muscle strength and tone - which I encourage for all mamas as soon as they feel up to it postpartum. Nothing replaces touch, slow deep abdominal breathing, and a 'love your postpartum body' perspective that I promote.  But I have found many mamas simply feel comforted by this support garment, especially early postpartum and temporarily as needed....to be used without forfeiting abdominal toning and strengthening exercise, breathing well and touch. I have found Bellefit supportive garments to help like they use belly binding around the world such as in Indonesia. They do aid in early postpartum healing and provide support many mamas feel comforted by. I deal with human beings and the reality is many postpartum mom's struggle with body image, feel frustrated that getting back to themselves takes longer than expected. Being into holistic health and healing includes being sensitive to real human struggles - the mind, body, heart and soul of each person and their unique situation. Having helped countless women with these issues after having a baby as a midwife, I have found many still love that binding and feel better with this support, and ability to fit into their pre-pregnancy clothes comfortably and sooner than they would if they went through a C-section or natural childbirth recovery without it - especially when they have to dress up and fit into a certain favorite outfit for a special occasion or wedding not long after having a baby.

For more info on the Bellefit girdle, check out my blog about it hereHave a Great Postpartum Recovery (with a little help from Bellefit)!

I am thrilled to announce that you get a $20 Off with code: ANNE20 at checkout - if you purchase here.





Healing VBAC Birth Story

 
image1.jpeg

“My first birth was a natural birth gone wild - my sons leg came out after 24 hours of natural labor - - so this VBAC was soooooo healing for me!!!!

I still cry thinking about both births!” Kimberly Spair of Reclaimers of Health

Here is a glimpse into my birth story, written by Birth Doula https://philadelphiabirthdoulas.com/ 

VBAC baby girl arrived on November 9 after 48 hours birthing!! (Vaginal birth after cesarean!) Past her October guess date it began November 7 at 8 pm and after exactly 48 hours of unmedicated birthing, Hypno-baby Braelyn Mae arrived our world at 7:55 pm naturally at 9 lb 4 oz. After over a day of consistent pressure waves (contractions) exhausted still at 4cm, mom released her emotions and fears about a repeat cesarean. Her first birth was scary and traumatic. She expressed her fears and replayed trauma of her first birth with us. We honored her, we reminded her that this is a new beautiful birth, and that she was doing it.

Birth was filled with beautiful intense emotions, physical challenges, consistent counter pressure, and mom continued to change positions, in and out of the birthing tub, using her natural instincts and accepted every suggestion to birth her baby. Mom pushed for 4-5 hours and then her moment was here… she reached down and their beautiful baby girl was in her arms.

“Fear is what got me through. I was MORE afraid of a c-section and more trauma. My birth was extremely hard-but not traumatic! I guess I can say “old fear” because I had very little fear of going naturally.” She shared and released her fears with us although what WE saw throughout her entire birth was fear that she overcame with COURAGE, STRENGTH, DETERMINATION, AND CONFIDENCE.

image3.jpeg

It was an honor and joy to be part of this special family’s beautiful birthing. They mean so much to me. We were fortunate to have a calm, supportive environment and to work with an incredible midwife. All birth is beautiful, all birth is unique. Going on 6 years as a doula this birth experience was truly unique to any birth I’ve had the opportunity to support. I can’t possibly describe this 2-day birth in an announcement. One strong mama! Mama, You inspire me and I thank you for inviting me in to be a small part of your pregnancy and birthing journey. So proud of you. You did it! Thank you for sharing your birth as I know you inspire many other families. Congratulations to a very special family of four. #VBAC #Hypnobabies #unmedicatedbirth #VBACaccomplished #VBACthat #wowbirth #ilovewhatidoula

Was your birth upsetting or traumatic? Do you have more questions about processing your birth and need help healing? Arrange some time to chat with me. I’d love to answer your questions and help you heal and get yourself back - I have a program specifically got you, that can also include this revolutionary and last natural healing modality called Clarity Breathwork.  Helping women heal from birth trauma is one of my passions and areas of expertise. 

image2.jpeg

This is why excellent childbirth education is a must, why planning for your birth is so important today, and is a major reason why I created my Love Your Birth course. It is a comprehensive online course that teaches women what they need to know about planning and carrying out the birth that they want in all settings - the hospital, birthing center or at home. It’s a course on how to have a holistic, healthy pregnancy for the body, mind, and soul - and is how I have guided thousands of women and their families in my midwifery practice for over 21 years. It contains a rolodex of my favorite resources with over 200 of the best books, movies and supplies I use personally and professionally with my clients, family & friends. Even diving into a fraction of this list will have you feeling empowered and prepared for conception, pregnancy, postpartum and parenting...It includes resources on improving and even ensuring ensuring healthier pregnancy and birth outcomes than the status quo, and preventing and healing from birth trauma so prevalent in the modern world!  Be prepared to do some research on your own, but knowledge restores your power. I also help you prepare your mindset for such a task, to debunk myths, and to reframe any current ideas or conditioning about pregnancy and birth that can use a change in perspective or that are simply incorrect and do serve you. After finishing the course, the idea is that you are now able to create and have the healthy, beautiful and empowering pregnancy and birth that you want. 

You can get a free nugget from my course - all about creating your ideal birth plan here. A huge part of preventing birth trauma is getting clear your birth preferences, knowing the pros and cons about all the tests and procedures, all the interventions your may be faced with, so you can make informed decisions - rather than simply give over your body, your choice and voice to your health care providers and institution you choose.

In looking for that supportive birthing space I talked about earlier, seek care providers and settings that have a low intervention rate (low rates of medical interventions like inductions and epidurals, low rates of cesareans, etc.)—their practices are more likely to be in line with your goals.

I have a holistic approach to life, including healing after pregnancy and birthing. Nothing replaces abdominal toning and exercise for restoring muscle strength and tone - which I encourage for all mamas as soon as they feel up to it postpartum. Nothing replaces touch, slow deep abdominal breathing, and a 'love your postpartum body' perspective that I promote.  But I have found many mamas simply feel comforted by this support garment, especially early postpartum and temporarily as needed....to be used without forfeiting abdominal toning and strengthening exercise, breathing well and touch. I have found Bellefit supportive garments to help like they use belly binding around the world such as in Indonesia. They do aid in early postpartum healing and provide support many mamas feel comforted by. I deal with human beings and the reality is many postpartum mom's struggle with body image, feel frustrated that getting back to themselves takes longer than expected. Being into holistic health and healing includes being sensitive to real human struggles - the mind, body, heart and soul of each person and their unique situation. Having helped countless women with these issues after having a baby as a midwife, I have found many still love that binding and feel better with this support, and ability to fit into their pre-pregnancy clothes comfortably and sooner than they would if they went through a C-section or natural childbirth recovery without it - especially when they have to dress up and fit into a certain favorite outfit for a special occasion or wedding not long after having a baby.

For more info on the Bellefit girdle, check out my blog about it hereHave a Great Postpartum Recovery (with a little help from Bellefit)!

I am thrilled to announce that you get a $20 Off with code: ANNE20 at checkout - if you purchase here.

 

How to Prevent and Heal Birth Trauma in Babies

 

In part two of birth trauma in babies, we’ll be looking at how to prevent birth trauma in the first place for your little one. We’ll also look at how to help your baby heal from trauma, if it did already happen.

Your baby will learn about care, love, and healing; it’ll benefit him or her for life!

How to Prevent Birth Trauma in Babies

Screen Shot 2018-03-30 at 12.13.39 PM.png

In terms of prevention, a healthy pregnancy and beautiful natural birth are sure ways of encouraging healthy outcome and without birth trauma for you or your baby.

So, let’s quickly look at what you can do to promote a healthful and deeply fulfilling experience, while preventing any need for intervention that can lead to traumatic experiences.

Having a Natural Birth

So, what can you do to put in place the kind of birth that will support you and your baby to come into the world as nature intended?

Begin with preparation in pregnancy.

Attend my webinar on preventing birth trauma.

In it, I go over crucial tips that’ll help you develop a comprehensive plan and prepare for a natural birth. You must prepare well in advance, like you would for running the 26 mile marathon, or your own wedding.  If you want to succeed in getting what you want - rocking and loving your experience and have a healthy outcome physically and psychologically - you can not afford to just wing it. Not in today's world. 

Yes, your body knows how to give birth, when we get our modern minds out of the way and we are with people and in settings that support it and do not disturb it when everything is normal and healthy. 

Look for a midwife or doctor and birth setting setting with high rates of successful natural births, without routine unnecessary interventions, that completely allows you to have your voice, and respects and supports your decisions.

You may need to learn a complete mindset shift, especially if you do not know anything about natural birth, or have not been around it as women were throughout history; this is extremely important if you don't feel confident, have lots of fear and do not feel supported.  Although underestimated, preparing your mindset is also a powerful and a foundational place to begin when creating your birth plan and getting ready for your birth. When you set your intentions for your experience, you’re more likely to manifest what you want. 

The mindset plays a huge role in the success of famous athletes, performers, as well as business men and women - they all have coaches to help them with that so they become the rockstars they are. You do not need to be famous or perform. But you do need to take back your birth so you can have a healthy one that you love, and without trauma. Your ability to do this rests in your attitude and mindset, that needs to transform and be different than the herd mentality.

And do hire a doula - who can be your coach for your big day. It is another must.

Do any of the following situations apply to you?

  • It is your first baby,

  • It’s your first time planning a natural birth,

  • You want a vaginal birth after cesarean birth, or

  • You already had a traumatic birth and want to plan for a much better, and completely different, experience next time around.

If you answered yes to any of the above, then I recommend you take my online Love Your Birth  course as it goes over all of this in much greater depth. I literally teach you how to transform your mindset so that it serves you on this journey of a lifetime.

The lessons in the course come from my extensive experience guiding and and empowering women and their families in my practice. They’ve led to the awesome birth experiences that I have been honored to witness for over 20 years.

All mamas who have been through it benefited from it immensely. Take a look.

What to Do During and After the Birth

Babies are way more capable than we give them credit! Your unborn baby—when he or she is ready—is naturally inclined, with the help of your body's labor, to move through the birth canal of their own will and effort, when given the opportunity. 

 Photo by @senhoritasfotografia.

Photo by @senhoritasfotografia.

In part one of this birth trauma in babies blog series I discussed how babies are actually more alert, cognizant and sensitive than we realize. If we interrupt the birthing and postpartum process when all is well, with any kind of medical or surgical procedures, testing and interventions, the baby will feel terrified, unsafe, their own agency taken away, their space violated and threatened. Then the trauma reaction ensues! Interventions that can cause trauma can include drugs, internal electrodes on their head, forceps, vacuum, cesarean, immediate cord clamping, suctioning their airway, rough handling, or separation from mom. All the more so when there are complications and interventions are truly needed. 

We need to be sensitive to the baby’s psychological experience when giving care during and after the process of delivery. In the womb and certainly as a newborn, baby is fully aware and conscious and is even more vulnerable to trauma than an adult, as baby's nervous system is still developing.

In addition to the prevention mentioned above, we can help minimize risk of birth trauma by creating a homey and private atmosphere for both mom and baby - in all settings.

That includes dim, soft lighting, and a quiet, peaceful, slow paced environment.  Also, if a mom feels loved, honored, supported and cared for, if she feels calm, safe, intimate and sensual, she’ll not only labor real well, but also will have yummy hormones that pass over to baby, so baby is bathed in them and feels this as well.  Check out my birth trauma series about mothers for more on how we can prevent and heal trauma in moms.

When I talk about gentle care, I’m talking about gentle handling, soothing reassuring voice and touch, eye contact, being held, breastfeeding, and a lot of skin-to-skin contact with mom or partner —this should begin after birth.

 Photo by @sehorhitasfotografia.

Photo by @sehorhitasfotografia.

Don’t cut the cord immediately either. That is baby's life line to oxygen, blood volume and essential nutrients and immunity to help baby transition to life outside the womb. Clamp it only after the pulsing stops or the placenta is birthed. 

Babies also love relaxing music and bath water - and who wouldn't like flower petals floating around, the ambiance of real or electric candles, and a delicious light scent of lavender or citrus?  If you have a water birth, watch them open up, move their arms and legs, and look around when held in the birthing pool. 

This is a sacred time for meeting, connecting to and bonding with each other, so unplug from your phone and computer, and have someone else in charge of spreading the exciting news and taking pictures.

If a cesarean birth is needed, it can be gentle, to simulate a family-centered, natural birth as much as possible, so it feels like a huge personal celebration rather than an operation. These same concepts apply however baby comes into the world.

Furthermore, any procedures or exams that need to happen after the baby’s birthed can be done at mom’s bedside while she’s holding and soothing her baby, explaining what’s going on if something is being done to either of them. A healthy baby needs to stay with parents at all times and not be rolled away in an isolate crib, taken to the noisy and brightly lit nursery of strangers for any examination or intervention. 

How Can Babies Heal from Birth Trauma

Screen Shot 2017-12-30 at 4.50.05 PM.png

In today’s technological world, there are more stressful, scary, drug-induced labors and surgical births than ever before, especially here in the United States. Healthy birth has become an impersonal medical and/or surgical event, a potential crisis waiting to happen in an intensive care like setting in many hospitals; is not a normal, beautiful part of life, the humane, cozy, family-centered celebration it once was.

At least there are some improvements happening here and there, such as:

Needless to say, a lot of healing needs to take place in the last several generations, once birth was moved to hospitals in the early part of the 1900s!

Let’s take a look at some of the things we can do to help heal birth trauma in babies.

After the Traumatic Birth

In working with traumatized babies and infants, the most important thing in giving care is love. This may seem obvious but don’t take this parental superpower for granted!

As a parent, lead with your heart. It is full of wisdom and does not lie, but rather sends you in the right direction.

When interacting with your baby, always have tenderness, comfort and compassion in mind—for yourself and your baby! The more compassion you have for yourself, the easier you can extend it to others in abundance.

Practice Kangaroo Care - while in the hospital, if intensive care is needed, and definitely at home. This simply involves holding baby (clothed in a diaper only) against your skin and cover yourselves with a blanket. Its benefits are well documented and can be done safely despite baby's attachment to medical devices in the NICU, depending on baby's condition. Basic closeness, touch and attention improve their health and healing immensely.  

Your baby needs to know that even when life gets difficult—because it will—there’ll always be love. You can provide ongoing reassurance you are there for your baby. Talk to your baby in a soothing manner, and allow them to tell their story with their body and in the nonverbal way that they do. They have much to say without the ability to talk. 

Their excessive crying or “fussiness” is not simply difficult baby behavior—they’re trying to tell us something. Validate their scary experience and let them know that they’re safe now. Sing to them. Rock them. Calm them.

Take a look at renowned midwife Karen Strange’s resources on baby trauma healing. She is an expert and international educator in neonatal resuscitation and works fully from the baby’s perspective. You can begin using these incredible tools of connecting with baby in pregnancy. 

Working with a Therapist

408738_4616640854379_473290538_n.jpg

In treating traumatized babies, Dr. Graham Kennedy tells us that a therapist will be observing and interacting with the affected baby through movement as well as through “hands-on palpation using craniosacral therapy.”  Therapists skilled in somatic experience and cutting edge trauma healing modalities for babies are ideal. You can find a list of some wonderful ones here. 

Usually, the movements the baby begins to make are similar to those he or she made in the womb during labor, but this time giving us the story of what happened to them.

“Working with babies involves holding a space in which they feel supported enough to begin to tell us the story of what happened to them, what they experienced and where it became difficult or even traumatic.” (Graham Kennedy, November 2008)

This reenactment can have a profound change on the baby’s brain, rewiring them to experience what they would have experienced in labor were they to have had a stress-free and intervention-free experience.

There are many possible imprints and effects of birth trauma, but they can all be healed. This is well backed by much literature, science and research, especially as we are growing in our understanding of trauma, its impact and how to heal from it when we get stuck in trauma responses. 

For example, down the line, you may notice your infant or young child having trouble starting or completing tasks (or both!). This may be an effect of their birth having been interrupted—this may have caused your baby trauma, it is stored in their bodies, and now they’ve learned to carry with them a certain passivity.

Babies born by forceps, vacuum or cesarean may later on feel they have to be rescued, can't do it alone, support is painful, get angry with authority, being controlled or manipulated, or they may not want to be here at all - and that can impact every aspect of their lives.

Babies who were drugged from their moms getting pain medication, may suppress their aliveness, have issues with addiction, feel spacey, out of it and trouble being conscious in their own lives.

Babies who spent time in an incubator away from their parents, feel separate and alone, have deep longing for connection and touch, develop a psychic wall of protection, and are easily triggered by abandonment.

In later childhood through adult years, this can be completely resolved with Clarity Breathwork - I do sessions locally in my practice, and online for the global community. 

adult-backlit-beach-320007.jpeg

The trauma response is an important part of our lives and it is our brain’s and body's way of protecting us at the time of perceived danger. It is a normal instinctual reaction in animals, including humans of all ages, and does not become a disorder unless it is interfered with and suppressed.

It does however, need to be treated with expertise for complete effective healing. If there is a traumatic response dysfunction, it is not a life sentence. You don’t have to hold on to those scripts anymore and neither does your baby. Full recovery is possible.

Healing birth trauma in babies is one of the most caring and giving things we can do for our children. 

Do you want to heal from trauma, inner stress and emotional pain that is negatively impacting your life? Let me help you! Attend my free webinar to learn how you can heal your own birth or other trauma, get yourself back and reclaim your inner calm and joy that is your birthright!

 

My Two Books Pre-launched #1 Bestsellers

 
bestseller.jpg

I have some exciting news to share with you! I have officially published my first two books on Amazon today...and they both became #1 International Bestsellers! The titles are below. 

I am forever grateful of your support and would love for you to share this with any of your friends or family that you think would enjoy this as well! 

 

3D_PNG-2.png

Trauma Release Formula: The Revolutionary Step by Step Program for Eliminating Effects of Childhood Abuse, Trauma, Emotional Pain and Crippling Inner Stress, to Living in Joy without Drugs or Therapy Kindle Edition 

by Anne Margolis CNM, MSN, Yoga Teacher, Clarity Breathwork Practitioner (Author)

If you’ve experienced intense stress, emotional pain or any type of trauma, this program is a must - it represents true hope that saved my life and the lives of countless others. Once you know the key that unlocks the emotional pain, suffering, your ongoing personal life, work and relationship issues, and ongoing stress related physical symptoms and illness, and how to unlock it all, you experience such a powerful healing. 

For the last 22 years I have worked as a holistic nurse midwife, then with the added expertise as a yoga teacher, advanced grad and volunteer staff of Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts, and Clarity Breathwork practitioner. I have shared the most intimate experiences with women and their families as they move through young adulthood through and beyond menopause, and as they have their babies. I have held space for the huge powerful transformation of birth – that involves challenging situations of extreme intensity and vulnerability, pain of all degrees, facing enormous fears head on, surrendering to a process far greater than all of us…as well as great joy, love, and miracles. There is no pain – physical or emotional – that scares me – I am comfortable with it all; I have either felt it myself, heard about it, witnessed it, and helped others move through and heal from it. Over many years, the women in my practice, their partners, extended families and friends have shared with me and sought my guidance for their deepest darkest sufferings.

I would say just about everyone has baggage, past trauma of some sort, emotional pain and inner stress that is part of being human. Or it comes out as physical problems. Even if there is no apparent history of physical, sexual or verbal abuse unfortunately occurring at staggering rates (beyond 1:3 what is reported), most -people tell me they are one or more of the following:

 From my book signing trip!

A Doctor and Midwife Recommended, Guide For Pregnancy To Postpartum Bliss Whether Birthing At Home, Hospital or Birth Center- even if this is not your first baby! 

This is a unique approach on how to have a deeply positive, empowered, and joyful journey through pregnancy, birth, and becoming a mom postpartum. Whether you have visions of a cozy home water birth, giving birth in a birth center free of pain meds and intervention, or a hospital birth with the latest technology and emergency care access just in case, this is the ultimate pregnancy to postpartum training so you can be prepared from an emotional, physical, and spiritual perspective to relax into birth and momma-hood with excitement and ease.

This comprehensive training will help you find your center and feel balanced, strong, relaxed, and calm within yourself during this special rite of passage into momma-hood- in the midst of all the chaos of life along the way. It will help you tune into your deepest desires and create joy and pleasure in your pregnancy, birth, an life as a mom - to take you and your family higher.

I’ve taken everything I’ve learned, trained and supported thousands of women, babies and their families with for over twenty years in my private practice locally and around the world, to create this book and do my part in improving maternity and newborn care and experiences, by empowering women and their families to speak up. These are my insiders secrets to increase your likelihood of avoiding high rates of risky medical and surgical interventions, serious complications including birth trauma for you and your baby, and having the birth of your dreams.

- stressed out, worried and anxious,

- overwhelmed, overworked and depleted, burned out, taking care of everyone but themselves

- filled with resentment, anger, rage

- irritable, cranky, and reactive

- unhappy, uninspired, unfulfilled, sad or downright depressed – do not feel joy

- addicted to harmful habits and do not do much to take care of themselves

- embarrassed or ashamed by some part of their body or not liking the way they look

- struggling with eating disorders,

- stuck and can’t make decisions

- disconnected from themselves and others

- shut down, powerless without a voice

- longing for something more and better, but don’t even know what they want, or thinking something outside of them will rescue them and make them happy

- plagued with self loathing, self doubt, not feeling valued, worthy or good enough, like a failure

- filled with shame, blame or a sense of being wrong

- lonely and isolated – without community, or even within their circle of friends and family

- sensually and sexually shut down and turned off

- troubled by relationship issues (immediate, extended, friends and/or professional)

- battling  career and work problems

- suffering with ongoing physical symptoms or chronic health conditions from body aches and pains, to migraines, intestinal issues, acid reflux, trouble sleeping, high blood pressure, heart disease, autoimmune disorders, cancer …the list goes on. If you can relate or have some of these feelings or issues, you are in the right place.

amazon_info.jpg

I want to thank my mentor Mike Koenigs for guiding me to prelaunch two books on my two passions for helping people!!! Both are available on Amazon already! Will be released on kindle in March and paperback in April!! 

 

What is a Doula and How to Become One

 

If you look up the Greek word Doula, it literally means “one who mothers the mother.”

Lydia15 Julia Swyer Photo.jpg

Not too long ago, and still today in some parts of the world, it was commonplace for a pregnant woman to be surrounded by other women during childbearing, childbirth, and even through to many weeks after the birth of the child. Needless to say, a momma welcoming a newborn into her family had plenty of help.

She wouldn’t have to worry about cooking and cleaning, laundry, errands, or even taking care of any children she might already have. Her own mother, sisters, aunts, cousins, friends and other women from maybe the surrounding village would be there to give her time to rest, heal and breastfeed, as well as acclimate to the new life in the family.

To the modern North American woman, this sounds heavenly and, unfortunately, almost unheard of.

Our new mothers today are basically left to fend for themselves with partners usually not having as long a parental leave of absence as the baring mother.

It has also become a custom for families to live quite far away from each other. And, work obligations don’t exactly allow for extended time spent with family or close friends.

Can a doula really work to remedy this grave absence of family and community support? Well, believe it or not, she can do a great deal more!

What Does a Doula Do?

Nika A Kletecka_09.jpg

Bearing in mind our modern North American society, having a doula as part of your natural birth (or, really any kind of birth!) becomes not only beneficial to your experience but also crucial to your success.

A doula is basically trained in mothering the mother, in being emotionally supportive as well as providing comfort techniques for a woman in labor. While this may seem like something your OB/GYN, nurse, or midwife can do, this cannot be their focus 100% of the time while you’re in labor. Their primary responsibilities are the health and well-being of mother and baby - the maternity and newborn care, making sure all is well, preventing problems and intervening as needed to ensure safety.

A doula, on the other hand, is completely and solely focused on you and your immediate and ever-changing needs while in labor and even after the baby is born.

Doulas can also bring a significant amount of calm to a natural birth. While many may doubt or worry, it’s a doula’s job to keep the mother focused on what her goals are. And, success rates are high!

She can do seemingly little but very important things like encourage you when you doubt yourself and remind you of your strength. She can massage your shoulders, provide helpful back or pelvic pressure, give you a warm or cool washcloth where you need it; she can remind you and your partner to eat, drink, rest, take a walk, get into the bath or shower, and also help you get into positions that can ease labor.  

An experienced doula will know what mothering and labor support to give you. Your doula can crack open a window for you when it gets too hot, hold your hand, breathe with you when you need to relax and ground yourself, as well as vocalize with you according to your natural sounds - this helps reinforce your own coping rituals.

A doula is a huge asset to you!

 Photo by @senhoritasfotografia.

Photo by @senhoritasfotografia.

While a doula is not hired in order to replace a partner—not at all!—she is there to bring comfort to nerves, doubts, and fears. These feelings have no place in a delivery room and a doula can help keep everyone calm and provide a sense of normalcy, compassionate support and love to every intimidating step of the process.

A wonderful doula knows when to step in, and when to give you and your partner privacy and encourage slow dancing and love making.

A doula doesn’t make decisions for a mother and her partner. While she may suggest certain circumstances or ideas based off of what she knows of the parents and their goals, her only objective is to coach a mother through what the mother has already decided she wants for her childbirth.

A doula can, on the other hand, advocate for a mother, making sure that the new parents’ goals are respected and met even while the mom might be in labor and unable to advocate for herself. She can help a mom prenatally find resources to make informed decisions and formulate her birth preferences.

Screen Shot 2017-11-16 at 8.48.07 AM.png

A doula’s duties don’t stop after delivery! Postpartum doulas can help to manage house while the new mother gets some oh-so-sorely-needed rest.

A doula can run errands, keep the home tidy and neat, even look after any other young ones a momma might have. Also, most postpartum doulas are well trained in the care of newborn babies and can assist with breastfeeding and the like.

A doula is there to provide you with resources and recommendations, support and a voice, and, most essentially, the tender loving care  and nurturing that a new mom needs.

The Benefits of Having a Doula

It’s very easy for us to overlook and take for granted the extensive amount of benefits there are in receiving something as simple as help or support. While receiving that help and support merely sounds nice, there is actually an impressive amount of scientific research that supports the real and profound benefits of having a doula.

There’s a great amount of emotional and mental advantages to having a doula, namely a mother’s self-confidence and –esteem. Her ability to cope well with a natural birth as well as to maintain positive feelings surrounding the pregnancy is greatly increased.

There is also, however, significant benefits that have to do with the actual physical health of the mother and baby! It is, indeed, no surprise that emotional and mental health are directly tied to physical health.

Having a doula has proven to promote shorter and easier labors, an easier time adapting to motherhood with enhanced skills as well as less postpartum depression which is huge!

Screen Shot 2017-11-16 at 8.47.49 AM.png

The support of a doula can actually decrease the need for invasive interventions like cesarean, medications, or using forceps and the like for delivery. Babies are also reported to be in much healthier states, have increased breastfeeding success, with less rates of intensive care when the mother has had a doula.

I, myself, always recommend moms have a doula or doula-like support person, and my rate of women needing to be transferred to a hospital is as little as 7%. And, unfortunately, these are usually first-time moms who decide to not have a doula.

Some of the most successful people and top athletes in the world have not just one but multiple coaches for every aspect of their lives. It only makes sense to have a personal coach— fully focused on you, your needs, your desires, your capabilities, your potential, and your goals—for such a truly significant event as birth.

Related article: It Takes a Village Birth Story - A Doula that Made a Difference

 

How Do You Become a Doula?

With providing profound experiences being in the very job description of a doula, becoming one is more of a calling than it is a “job.” And, more and more women are choosing to have a doula to help them through their perinatal period.

Pragmatically speaking, becoming a doula requires certification which is accomplished by completing a short training course, but ongoing continuing education is not only customary but encouraged. Many doulas take my Love Your Birth online course for their certification, as it helps them better help the women they serve.

There are many different programs and organizations to choose from actually.

A quick search can have you in touch with organizations in your local area but also around the world! If becoming a doula is your passion, here are some excellent training programs with different flavors - see what feels right for you.

CAPPA, for example, is known as “one of the first and most comprehensive perinatal organizations in the world.”

DONA International, on the other hand, has a training program “known as the world’s best.”

The Matrona  is a wonderful training program known for its holistic approach.

Prodoula  is a training program for the modern women interested in elevating the professionalism of the career.

What you may notice in many doula training programs, if not all, is the warm and welcoming atmosphere that encourages you to learn and to train at your own pace.

 Photo by Judith Halek

Photo by Judith Halek

Many programs allow you to get right into the thick of things, with having you attend multiple labors so that you can immediately decide for yourself whether this is truly the calling for you. Quite a number of programs also allow a type of self-study in which you can complete the full program at your own pace. Most doula training can be completed in a weekend.

Some doulas make a full-time career out of this passion of theirs while others can take it more slowly if they wish and work more part-time.

Related article: Why You (Yes, YOU) Should Become a Doula

Doulas can create the most harmonious and profound birthing experiences for a mother, especially for those births that are natural.

A doula can really keep you in touch with the powerful realization that you’re bringing life into the world. Some doulas lead deeply spiritual experiences like mother blessing ceremonies, and foster community by leading a variety of support groups.  Doulas tend to bring a variety of other modalities to you, depending on their additional training, from placenta encapsulation, to massage therapy, reiki, and essential oils. Some get certified in lactation counseling and support, childbirth education, teaching safe baby wearing, prenatal and postpartum yoga. Many bring labor support tools like the birth ball, a Rebozzo, and portable birth tub.

ChelisseOkamura2.jpg

Physical and mental benefits aside,  a doula can create the kind of environment that shelters and protects a mother who is stronger and more capable than she realizes as well as sensitive and vulnerable during this special time, so that the mother can, in turn, concentrate on having one of the most empowering experiences ever.

Taking an honest look at the possibility of a natural childbirth? Visit my Love Your Birth course webpage to take the self-assessment today. And, let me help you put all of the odds in your favor!

--

Let Me Guide You To Create The Happiest Healthiest Birth Experience Of Your Life...

Whether you're a first time or experienced momma, planning a VBAC

Or a midwife, doula, or birth professional guiding mommas..

 Image by Megan Hancock Photography

Image by Megan Hancock Photography

Regardless if you are intending to birth at home, a hospital, a birth center or need a cesarean section, or if you are taking another childbirth education class…

You Really Can Create The Delivery Of Your Dreams, ROCK your birth.

And have a blissful birth wherever you are. And avoid the common complications - including birth trauma, prevalent in today's modern world from the cascade of routine interventions. You have a choice and you have a voice. 

More Precious Than A Wedding...A Birth Should Be A Celebration!

Let me show you how to…

  • Understand the sensations of your body and connect your intuition with how your body is communicating and leading you towards what to do during labor

  • Tap into your inner calm to deeply relax yourself,letting go of busy, stressful and fearful thoughts on demand for the health of baby

  • Speak your truth from your heart in a way that deepens your relationships, sets clear boundaries, and has people listen to you and support you before, during and after pregnancy

  • Trust yourself, connect with your body wisdom andcommunicate with baby in belly

  • Connect with natural time and sync your body and mind up with your unique biological clock for ease from pregnancy to postpartum

  • Reprogram negative patterns, stories, and beliefs that undermine your confidence, strength and self trust so you can rock your birth

Physicians and midwives around the world recommend my teachings to their pregnant clients and many Doulas across the country learn the secrets of blissful birthing from me to supplement their Doula Training & Certification process!

To learn more, visit:  LOVE YOUR BIRTH Online Childbirth Course!

It is based on my years of experience, as a midwife and yoga teacher, helping thousands of women tap into their calm and live and birth from a place of grounded relaxation and joy.