Birth Story - Sacred, Sensual, & Laughing Baby Out

My second son Ojiah was born... During the pregnancy I needed guidance accepting the change that this was bringing to my life. From conception, Ojiah has been asking for my evolution as a person, spiritually and actively. While researching ecstatic and orgasmic birth, I found Suni Krall's book Sacred Birthing. My first birth was amazing and I needed to know I could have another wonderful birth (that I hadn't used up my great birth reserves, so to speak) This book, most of all, helped me with affirmations, visualizations, and meditations. I practiced mindful meditation, stating my intentions towards a healthy baby and a spiritually high, painless birth. 

The early evening of Dec 12th, I was feeling restless and hungry. I had been having pre-labor sensations for a couple of weeks and felt ripe and ready. Jack and I put our son Sedge to bed, then made love. Labor came on instantly--what a pleasant surprise! I had dribbling of water from my yoni and nice strong contractions. We both laid down in bed and tried to get some rest.

Jack's body was propped up on some pillows and I was lying on his chest; he was so solid, strong, and warm.

I focused on my breathing and closed my eyes. The waves of sensation with each rush manifested in my breathing rate and I was both concentrating on and allowing relaxation through the surges of intensity. As the waves started to come on stronger andmore often, I felt the need to get up. I also needed to empty my bowels. The rushes became stronger and this seemed to be happening quickly. I began to moan and groan to release any pain. I sought out the most comfortable positions which was kneeling on the floor, knees splayed, my upper body propped up on the couch, a stool or a birthing ball. 

Timing of when to call the midwife is tricky when you become so immersed in the present, but Jack was making me aware of the obvious--things were progressing--it was time to call Anne. When she and her assistant Nancy arrived, they were so gentle and respectful. Any concerns about having toentertain or having my energy pulled away from myself quickly diminished. They were immediately present and 'holding the space'. Jack's touch was amazing, connected, and strong. To complement that, Nancy's touch was soft, warm, and reassuring. Making noises during rushes really moved them through me. At one point, I remember feeling a gentle sadness washing over me and I announced it was going to manifest itself as a cry. Jack was so supportive as he sat with me and Nancy respectfully paused in the process of checking my temperature. Everyone present allowed this feeling to express. It was very calm and fleeting, and felt almost like singing. It was a gentle weeping, like a breeze through a willow, and it was over, no specific thoughts were involved--just total feeling. 

As things began to get more intense, Anne wisely suggested a shower, which was revitalizing. As the close of the birth was approaching, I began to fear that our two year old son, Sedge, would wake up and be needy when the baby needed us most. We had originally planned to call someone to be with him. Though this didn't feel right in the moment, I feared having the flow broken if Sedge became scared and needed something I just couldn't give. Jack kept talking me through this, reassuring me that it was ALL OK. Walking, squatting, bending, moaning were all part of the progression, and the pressure began to feel heavier. I felt the need to push. Anne checked me and said I was not ready--I needed to open more. Certain visualizations came into my being at this time: the opening of flowers and an affirmation from Sacred Birthing -- "I wish to envision my birth as an ultimate high". I also remembered from Spiritual Midwifery about connecting in with your man. We had smooched plenty earlier and I know this had helped me. I turned toward Jack and looked into his eyes and acknowledged and held that connection I felt. It was deep and loving and freeing and joyous, and out bubbled a laugh; it felt GREAT..... "ah hah!" I allowed the laughs to keep on coming and thought about the words "I wish to envision my birth as an ultimate high," and I was getting high! I don't remember any pain at that time. I was completely lifted above it all... it felt REALLY good. Laughing transcended me. I'm not sure how long this went on. There's no linear grasp on time, but I know that it was a prevalent gift in my birthing experience.  

Sedge began waking up then, and Jack went into the bedroom to be with him and talk about what was going on with mama. I clearly remember the 'last laugh'. It started to arise naturally and then was caught in my throat by a strong rush. I knew it was time for inward quiet. Transition. I sat on my birthing ball and felt deep calm. I was fully opened. I felt Ojiah moving lower and lower with the next contractions and deeper grunts came out of me. All I wanted to do was walk around and squat on the rush. Sedge and Jack came out of the bedroom. Sedge gave me a hug, then he and Jack sat on the couch, while I sat on the birthing stool facing them and resting my upper body on Jack's lap, hugging him whenever the intensity of feeling came on. Sedge was not just there, he was completely supportive. At one point this pure, wise little being rested his hand on my arm. A gesture that was fully present and not at all needy. He was aware of the magic and sacredness of the space and moment.

Anne and Nancy had me on a birthing stool that was the perfect height to really get a squat. During the pushing I alternated between sitting on it and getting up onto it to get a deeper squat. Anne made lovely suggestions during this time to walk, go under the shower, and listen to music. I didn't think I was grounded enough to choose or enjoy music, but I trusted Anne and agreed to it. She took out her CD of women birthing songs from around the world. I pushed and called out with a will of strength so primal and raw.  I was actually tuned in and encouraged by the tribal music. It was ancestral. My beautiful baby boy was born. He was so gentle and peaceful and welcome.

Bringing me back to that moment swells my heart to a great capacity. It is a beautiful and awesome initiation into the countless moments of the real and perfect harmonies of parenting. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to share my story.

Shannon

Let Me Help You Create The Happiest Birth Experience Of Your Life...

Whether you're a first time or experienced momma,

Or a midwife, doula, or birth professional guiding mommas..

Regardless if you are planning a birth at home, a hospital, a birth center or need a cesarean section, or if you are taking another childbirth education class…

You Really Can Create The Delivery Of Your Dreams.

And have a blissful birth wherever you are.

More Precious Than A Wedding...A Birth Should Be A Celebration!

Let me show you how to…

• Understand the sensations of your body and connect your intuition with how your body is communicating and leading you towards what to do during labor

• Tap into your inner calm to deeply relax yourself, letting go of busy, stressful and fearful thoughts on demand for the health of baby

• Speak your truth from your heart in a way that deepens your relationships, sets clear boundaries, and has people listen to you and support you before, during and after pregnancy

• Trust yourself, connect with your body wisdom and communicate with baby in belly

• Connect with natural time and sync your body and mind up with your unique biological clock for ease from pregnancy to postpartum

• Reprogram negative patterns, stories, and beliefs that undermine your confidence, strength and self trust so you can rock your birth

Photo by Megan Hancock Photography

Physicians and midwives around the world recommend my teachings to their pregnant clients and many Doulas across the country learn the secrets of blissful birthing from me to supplement their Doula Training & Certification process!

To learn more, visit:  LOVE YOUR BIRTH Online Childbirth Course!

It is based on my years of experience, as a midwife and yoga teacher, helping thousands of women tap into their calm and live and birth from a place of grounded relaxation and joy. 

It’s wonderful alone, a great refresher or adjunct to any other course!

“Forget your childbirth class, and take steps to your most empowering experience. If you are thinking about conception, pregnant, or love someone who is, take it from me that her wisdom is life-changing.
Yours in the truth

— Kelly Brogan, MD

It Takes A Village Birth Story - A Doula That Made A Difference

The Birth, and Baby Moon of Felix.

5th June 2017; 12.15am.

It was a mild Sunday. I had done 283 days of pregnancy...approximately 6792 hours (if the days didn’t sound long enough). I was 3 days overdue, the size and weight of a led balloon and I had absolutely reached my breaking point. For the past 2 weeks I’d had seemingly constant Braxton Hicks, awful back pain and every night ended in a false labour. I spent the day lying in bed crying, and coming to terms with the fact that I was obviously going to be an elephant forever.

I had previously had two very rapid births, with my last being very traumatic, riddled with pre, and post-natal depression. I was young, desperate for a home birth and felt completely ignored and not listened to by the NHS. I ended up in the midwife led unit at my nearest hospital being held down on my back to birth, which was not good considering I had SPD. I thought I had dealt with the anxiety this experience had caused me; but until I fell pregnant again this time round, I had no idea how much I had locked away. I had a fantastic midwife for this pregnancy, who arranged a debrief with a lovely lady that gave me the confidence to be sure my wish for a home birth would be met. I had done endless sessions of hypnotherapy at home, printed off affirmation cards to stick to my wall, made a visual birth plan, practised my breathing techniques, watched calm home birth videos, had a pregnancy blessing with all of my most cherished female friends; and hired a fabulous doula to make sure that I had the best possible chance of achieving what I needed for myself and my baby. I spent the last few months being proud of my body, really coming to terms with my changing shape and loving it! However, those last two weeks of pregnancy really started to drain on all of this preparation and, to be honest, I was at the point of taking any offer made that would get this baby out of me.

My doula came over Sunday afternoon to give this giant pregnant elephant a pep talk to help get me out of the headspace I had ended up in. She said to spend the afternoon ‘pretending I wasn’t pregnant’; so we made plans to go the cinema the following day, and all sat down as a family to watch the One Love Manchester concert before bed. At around 7.45 the kids were settling when I suddenly felt a pop and my waters started gushing everywhere.

We phoned our doula to come back over, my mum and our birthing partners. Everyone arrived super quickly whilst I phoned the labour line to alert them that things were kicking off. They assured me that they’d send a midwife out as soon as my surges got to one in 6; they had one ready who knew the area really well so to phone back as soon as things became regular

After this, my doula did a sideline release; a technique from spinning babies, to get Felix in to a better position. By this point waters were literally covering my living room floor and sofa every time I moved; my once massive bump had deflated and completely changed shape, making us all think baby was going to be of average size. After some bouncing on my birthing ball and finding a chilled out music playlist; I went to the loo, which caused things to massively ramp up to the point I couldn’t get back upstairs without starting to make birthing noises.

Daniel, my 3 year old; helped his dad massage my back whilst my doula helped keep my breathing steady and my mum phoned the midwife back. I was asked to go into the birthing unit, but in the throes of labour, I “politely” declined. By 11.30, things had massively ramped up, and it was obvious that Felix was well on his way. I made my way to the air bed we had prepared, whilst my doula held my pelvis and a paramedic was phoned.

I could feel Felix moving up and down the birth canal with every surge. The intensity was beyond my ability to describe! Hannah, my 5 year old was awoken by the commotion and came in to watch on in fascination. We had prepared both the children beforehand with lots of conversations about what would happen, along with lots of home birth videos on YouTube; so they knew what was going to happen. In just 2 minutes, at 12.15am; Felix was born!

The paramedic walked in as his head was born. She was wonderful and completely respected my choice to be observed from a distance. Not long after Felix landed on the airbed; the midwives walked in. I birthed on all fours so leant back to pick up my beautiful, and huge, baby boy. I was the first to touch him, which was magical! We had some skin to skin; then he latched on and fed until the placenta was delivered naturally at 12.45am. The cord wasn’t touched until this point, by which time Felix had got the full amount of goodness from it, and it had turned white. His dad then helped to cut it, with the kids watching on, still in complete fascination. My doula helped me tie his rainbow cord tie on, and then he was weighed. 10lbs5. TEN POUNDS FIVE OUNCES! The entire room erupted in a mixture of shock and humour at the fact that me, only 5’4 in height, had naturally delivered this giant child without even a taste of a paracetamol, in 2 minutes with not even a graze.

Whilst Felix was dressed and his siblings got their first cuddles, my placenta was checked over and taken by my doula for some prints and a placenta smoothie. The smoothie was blended with red berries and apple juice; it was so refreshing to drink after going through birth and completely stopped my shakes and helped to reset me. My placenta prints were done as with my last two, I never even got asked if I wanted to see the placenta. The tissue that had helped to nurture and grow my babies was whisked away like it was something dirty; so this time, I wanted a reminder of what my amazing body had held and grown that I could put some artistic flair on.

Once everything had settled, and Felix had been checked over. Everyone headed home and we settled down for bed, at 5am Monday morning. The whole experience was so surreal I couldn’t sleep from the high and excitement. I had finally got the birth I had been dreaming of. Everything about it was beautiful and wonderful.

In the first postnatal days, I was left alone to bond, feed and heal; which was completely what I needed. My birth partners were my lifeline of support, and came over to help cook, clean and provide me with copious amounts of tea and pain relief. These wonderful women had held me up throughout pregnancy and were still holding me post birth.

In these days, I had the time to do a lot of reflection on myself, and past experiences not only involving birth, but of life in general. I realized that I’ve spent way too much time trying to be perfect at everything, and too much time being afraid to ask for help; two valuable life lessons that will forever stay with me.

I also finally understood, and connected with all of those women I had read about in blogs who wanted to tell anyone and everyone about their amazing birth story; and I had a new respect for the amazing work that doulas do. Without my doula, my pregnancy and birth would probably have been completely different. On that Sunday, I needed her and she came without hesitation. Without that seemingly small pep talk, my mental state going in to birth would probably have been completely different, and I wouldn’t handled the situation as well as I did. She enabled everyone to have their own space, and made the entire atmosphere calm and confident. I could not thank her enough.

On day 7, she came out again to do a wonderful closing the bones ceremony with me. This involved a gentle abdominal massage with some beautiful oils; and some spinning babies sifting with a rebozo scarf. This helped to realign all of my muscles and really helped me to say goodbye to the last 9 very long months. After she left, I had the most beautiful milk bath with Felix; made with oat milk, lavender and chamomile oils, Epsom salts, dried rose and lavender petals and chrysanthemums. It was extremely healing; and such a different, more peaceful experience to the first baths of my last two children.

I’d like to finish this by saying to anyone who reads this; that your birth is possible, you are enough, trust yourself, and never underestimate the power that a tribe of women can bring. I started this journey a complete sceptic of mindfulness, and the power of positive thinking. I had trust issues with almost everyone, low self esteem and stopped myself from dealing with any of it by trying to be perfect at everything, and keeping myself busy. This whole experience has been more healing than I can define, and I wish that everyone could have the chance to have the experience that I have. I hope that if just one person reads this and it helps them, then I have enabled someone; like my tribe enabled me.

By Lucy Howel @hippychick_mumma.

 Birth photos by birthing partner Leanne Shepherd @shepherd_leanne. 

Journey From Hospital To Home, Victim to Empowered, Fear To Confidence & Loving Birth

Newborn exam on parent's bed, so they can be close to baby, watch and learn.

The truth is that there are things one can do to prepare both physically and emotionally. And there are things one can do to ensure the best possible outcome for mother and baby. Pregnant women are not passive victims to their bodies. I learned these things from women like Pauline Nardella, Childbirth Educator, Anne Margolis, Certified Nurse Midwife and the filmmakers Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein who made “The Business of Being Born”.

For every woman there are specifics that stand out in their prenatal care. I did not have to be subjected to constant pelvic exams, since most of the time, there was no medical need for it. When my midwife had to determine if the baby was head down she respectfully offered me options; an exam or sonogram. Until that point, I had always been told to undress from the waist down. Never asked. Never aware I had choices. I also learned that women are suggestive when pregnant. This is not because we are suffering from “pregnancy brain” or any other one of those derogatory descriptions of a woman expecting. We are suggestive in this condition by nature because it assists in the birthing process. A pregnant woman can be told she can bond with her unborn baby and therefore she can. A pregnant woman can be told that the contractions are surges, or simply a tight feeling and therefore they are endurable or even pain free. 

Being suggestive is critical to the birthing process and being exposed to fear in a suggestive state puts women on a dangerous path toward labor. This is why numbing drugs are so critical in an optionless system, not just to medicate the pain, but to numb a women’s fear and even the fear of fear. My homebirth midwife asked me questions about my pregnancy. She asked questions about my life situation and my concerns. She let me speak and she listened. I was an active participant in the prenatal check-ups to determine the well-being of my baby. She did not overwhelm me, and with each visit she provided simple handouts of things to do or assist me in my pregnancy. I did not feel pressure to do everything (like walk a mile a day, drink a gallon of raspberry leaf tea and do 1000 kegel muscle exercises while sitting in traffic) but to do what I could and even without doing anything at all, my body knows what to do. Women do not “fail” to give birth. This truth was reaffirmed in my Hypnobirthing class. My body and my baby know what to do. We follow nature. Despite this, the moment my water broke, I felt fear. “I am not ready”, I thought. At nearly 42 weeks I should have felt ready. But I still could not let my thoughts go. Did I practice enough with the tapes? Do I have the stamina? Am I going to fail to progress like I did in the hospital with my daughter? Can I take the pain without meds? 

The first contraction was powerful. It took me by surprise. This is where my prenatal care began to demonstrate its effect on me. Instead of thinking “OW!” I thought “WOW! My body is strong.” Holding on to that thought, I went from contractions every 10 minutes to every 5 in less than an hour. Apparently positive thinking and relaxation does have an effect on the cervix. The “proof” was now in action. I actually did not plan in advance the positive affirmations I would use, but once in labor, I no longer referred to them as contractions but as waves because they were not isolated to my uterus. I felt them from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. I called my midwife to let her know the contractions were coming strong and quickly.

My husband ran around preparing the bath and trying to figure out why the heat wasn’t working that cold February night. My 2-year-old woke up looking for me. “The baby is coming?” If someone told me she was going to wake up and pine for me before our babysitter arrived, mid-transition it would have scared me. I cuddled with her and tried to put her back to bed as my husband stopped between errands to hold my hand. My midwife had the wisdom that I should prepare and inform my daughter with videos and a homebirth children’s book. She was a little afraid but more excited mostly because I was not afraid. I did not know I had the strength to care for my daughter and my labor at the same time. At my first birth my husband could not be out of my reach for two seconds. I needed his strength to get through the 20 hours of pain.

Without any rubs this time, I made it one wave at a time. I realized that the waves only lasted for about one minute or so and at this point the endorphins kicked in and the calm between lasted for three or more. It felt utterly divine so I focused on this. Since I was so suggestive, all I had to do from my practice was say the word “relax” and I was completely weightless, and floating. I did not mind the contractions as much simply because the strength of them and my thoughts were instigating this blissful relaxation. My midwife had not yet arrived as my cervix reached 10 cm, and my husband and neighbor had just completed filling the tub. I went back into my head since I did not expect to be in the bath alone and I got scared. 

My Midwife and Doula arrived just before I felt the need to push. I let her know I was scared and she asked me of what. And I said of being alone. My husband was with me, the babysitter arrived and so did my caretakers. She only needed to say “You are not alone” and I was not alone. In the warmth of the tub, my husband was holding me, sharing our strength to birth our son. In the timelessness of following nature, I remember my midwife’s words as I fell into what seemed like a trance. She said, “Go with your body”, after I announced the urge to push. And I did. She said, “Open your pelvis and let the baby through.” And I did. She said, “Push past the burning ring.” And I did! My son was nearly 10 pounds. We brought him into this world without fear, and after only three hours of labor and 15 minutes of pushing, he arrived into our arms with a feeling of love that cannot be described. Perhaps it was the Oxytocin I heard so much about. Still, the experience was life changing. It gave me strength through the turbulent changes of the first weeks of post-partum and a feeling of empowerment that I can carry with me through life. This story of trust, birth and love has bonded us immediately as a family and I have no doubt this birth story will continue to shape our lives.

Love, Ruthie

Let Me Help You Create The Happiest Birth Experience Of Your Life...

Photo by Megan Hancock Photography

Whether you're a first time or experienced momma,

Or a midwife, doula, or birth professional guiding mommas..

Regardless if you are planning a birth at home, a hospital, a birth center or need a cesarean section, or if you are taking another childbirth education class…

You Really Can Create The Delivery Of Your Dreams.

And have a blissful birth wherever you are.

More Precious Than A Wedding...A Birth Should Be A Celebration!

Let me show you how to…

• Understand the sensations of your body and connect your intuition with how your body is communicating and leading you towards what to do during labor

• Tap into your inner calm to deeply relax yourself,letting go of busy, stressful and fearful thoughts on demand for the health of baby

• Speak your truth from your heart in a way that deepens your relationships, sets clear boundaries, and has people listen to you and support you before, during and after pregnancy

• Trust yourself, connect with your body wisdom and communicate with baby in belly

• Connect with natural time and sync your body and mind up with your unique biological clock for ease from pregnancy to postpartum

• Reprogram negative patterns, stories, and beliefs that undermine your confidence, strength and self trust so you can rock your birth

Physicians and midwives around the world recommend my teachings to their pregnant clients and many Doulas across the country learn the secrets of blissful birthing from me to supplement their Doula Training & Certification process!

To learn more, visit:  LOVE YOUR BIRTH Online Childbirth Course!

It is based on my years of experience, as a midwife and yoga teacher, helping thousands of women tap into their calm and live and birth from a place of grounded relaxation and joy. 

It’s wonderful alone, a great refresher or adjunct to any other course!

“Forget your childbirth class, and take steps to your most empowering experience. If you are thinking about conception, pregnant, or love someone who is, take it from me that her wisdom is life-changing.
Yours in the truth
”

— Kelly Brogan, MD

Welcome to my Online Health Dispensary

HEALTHY LIVING FOR HEALTHY WOMEN

My online dispensary is a convenient way for you to purchase my hand-picked, professional-grade, whole food supplements and other natural health products. Ordering is simple, and the products will be shipped directly to your home or work within a few days.

Click here to enter my dispensary at Fullscript.

I have listed my recommended prenatal and postpartum supplements in the PRENATAL SUPPORT and POSTPARTUM/BREASTFEEDING section, but you can search their catalog for other supplements and natural remedies as well.

You can also access your personalized prescriptions and dosage instructions for the products that have been recommended for you after a consultation.

Open an account - registration is free!

The Unnecesarean Birth Story: How It Might Have Been Prevented

Sweet mama Toki submitted her birth story for me to share, but when I read it, I felt the sadness amidst the joy of having a baby. I felt I needed to embrace Toki with much love, compassion, and support. And then came the outrage. I hear stories like these all too often, and every time I feel this way. I do not like to judge any provider or mama doing her best with what is known and faced at the time, unless I have been in their shoes...which is never. I know what happened was meant to happen, because it did; and I do believe it was a gift even though we do not always understand why, nor comprehend each of our soul's unique journey. Nevertheless, I told her I could only post her story if I could write how as a midwife, I would have dealt with a situation like hers, and she agreed I could add my editorial. My comments are based only what she reported. I am forever grateful to modern medicine when medical and surgical intervention are truly needed for serious illness or life threatening complications. But when they are used on healthy pregnant women having healthy babies, I speak up about avoiding unnecessary risky procedures and major abdominal surgery, I speak up about prevention, and I speak up to support mamas who have had such experiences. 

Mama said she was "tremendously scared about the entire pregnancy... It was my first and I was 38 years old. Everything was frightening to me including the tests, the OB visits, and the internal ultrasound! Mostly, I was afraid that something would happen to my baby. I was always in a state of worry. I worried about the heartbeat, if she was getting squished inside me... all those silly crazy things that we worry about!" When a mama has such anxiety and fears, it concerns me; they must be addressed comprehensively throughout the pregnancy, as they negatively impact labor, birth and life. Sometimes all that is needed is some education and calm reassurance; but in many cases, we need to take a look at lifestyle as a whole, ways to reduce stress and enhance a more relaxed inner world. I also draw upon many holistic modalities, depending on the needs of each individual.  I would definitely urge hiring a wonderful doula and taking my Love Your Birth online course!

But there are red flags here, that make me question the entire philosophy of maternity care that has become standard. Healthy women today over 35 are unnecessarily placed in a high risk category simply because of their age, and are scared into an array of testing to screen for problems. Looking for problems when there are none or there is a very low chance of having them, alone creates anxiety. Also aside from the prevalent horror stories of others who birthed in typical hospitals and the media hype and dramatization, many modern women have not been exposed to normal birth as women supported women during the process throughout history, before birth was moved to the hospital setting in the 1900s. There is much fear in the unknown. Another characterization of today's mom is disempowerment to a patriarchal system, placing full trust in technology and modern medicine rather than confidence in herself as a woman and the process of childbearing. That being said, we are a generation bereft of spiritual connection, with a false expectation of perfect outcome always, without tolerance or ability to cope with anything less.  

"Saturday morning, I wake up with this crazy urge. Pee. I get up, or rather I roll out of bed and head to the bathroom (I am on my 38th week of pregnancy). Everything goes as normal, so I head back to bed.

Check the time… it’s 3:30 am. I’m lying there WIDE awake at this point, just trying to flop around and get comfortable when I feel a small warm surge flow out of my “va-jay-jay”. Whoa... Felt like I went an extra tinkle, it happened before. No biggie. Then, this warm surge happens again and once more but on the latter, it was a wee bit more or a LOT more! I whack my partner on the bum and say, “I think my water broke!” Of course, I have no clue and I was freaking out. Normal, right?! I roll out of bed and the moment I stand up completely, a much larger surge flows out! Yet, I am still clueless and asking out loud if my water broke because, again, I am freaking out."

I do my part to prevent mamas in my practice from freaking out about a normal sign of labor, as I make sure they are well prepared about what to expect, and to embrace it with calm.  I want mamas to be empowered with the brilliant wisdom they possess within, so they are not clueless, so they do not become scared - but rather are excited about the adventure ahead. Also, at 3:30 am in the middle of the night, if the fluid is clear and all is well, mamas need to feel relaxed to go back to bed so they are well rested for the challenging work of labor.

"Could it be true? Is this really happening? I don’t know what to do, what to think and want dearly for this not to be happening. Back to the story, I went into the bathroom to see what this was and my bottoms were fairly soaked with a slimy type substance. And as I am standing there, more is coming out. By this time, my partner is up and waking my mom up because it’s time! I make the call to my OB office and they said for me to come in immediately."

To go the hospital immediately after suspected water breaking, without other signs of labor, is a set up for induction that often fails, resulting in a cesarean birth - which can usually be avoided if managed differently. That is what this mama was told by her obstetrician. Maybe the hospital or malpractice insurance has these policies. But this is not evidence based care. This is not in the best interest of mother or baby. Unless there is an emergency, something wrong or cause for concern, a reassuring phone call which includes basic assessment and guidance, would be all that is needed, with follow up in the morning after a night's sleep. I also like to make sure it was not simply the outer bag of fore waters that commonly breaks prelabor - which is often mistaken for the main sac of amniotic fluid.  Babies are double wrapped in the chorion and amniotic membranes. There can be up to 2 tablespoons of fluid between them, which can make a pancake size stain on mama's clothing, if the first outer sac breaks. If indeed it was the main inner bag of amniotic fluid that broke, there is usually a puddle, or as if you poured a few cups of water on your pad, panties, or surface beneath you; and that puts mama on the clock to birth before a certain time in which the risk of infection increases. But there is time to wait for mama to go into labor as most do, and natural remedies to try before rushing to medical treatment. There is time in the morning to discuss the pros and cons of watchful waiting versus induction in the hospital, for informed decision making.

"I change while my mom is getting ready and I am standing there chanting, “I can’t do this, please, why did I do this to myself, I don’t think I can do this!” Over and over… Side note: I was saying why did I do this to myself because I went through a IUI process to become pregnant. If you are interested, you can read my pre-pregnancy story here - https://www.rockthebabybump.com/intrauterine-insemination/ "

I do wish I was in mama's range here, to whisper repeatedly "Yes you absolutely CAN do this, like the billions of women who birthed before you. since the beginning of time," and remind her of her capacities when she doubted it.

"My mom, just listening to me, says, “Get in the car because I am not calling the wammbulance to come get you.” Yes, mom, real funny. Oddly enough, amongst all my chanting and on the drive, I was feeling NO pain. When I calmed down, I was still feeling nothing. The car ride was filled with even more chanting and just talking to myself about how I can’t believe this is happening. My mom, just smiling.

At The Hospital!

We get to the hospital and check in. At the hospital, everyone is being so nice. Too nice. I wasn’t expecting this kind of treatment. I actually didn’t know what to expect. All the nurses were just making sure I was as comfortable as possible. (Emerson Hospital in Concord, Ma. was where I had my baby girl.) My OB came in, did the ultrasound and tested my amniotic fluid. It’s a GO! Next I am being hooked up to all the many monitors to make sure the baby has a heart beat and mine hasn’t exploded! Next, they need to know how far along am I. Pelvic exam. Let me preface this by saying I am NOT a fan of pelvic exams. Who is? But for me, it’s just not a happy time for me. Painful."

The evidence does not support internal exams prior to labor, in a healthy women whose main bag of amniotic fluid has broken and the amniotic fluid has released. The word broken implies something is wrong that needs to be fixed, when it is all as right as can be. Internal exams increase the risk of infection, which is what we want to avoid or at least minimize. Especially when such a woman who is not having surges or waves of contractions looks this happy, I do not need to do a pelvic exam to determine what is going on.  She is not in labor.  Period. I do like to confirm that the main bag is intact or not and releasing clear amniotic fluid (this can often be done by history and assessing fluid on the pad), there is no sign of infection and check baby's heartbeat, but there is no need for ultrasound. Basic hand skills to assess the uterus and baby via mama's belly are sufficient...unless there is a concern.

"So when it came time to see where I was at in dilation, well it wasn’t pleasant. My OB attempted the exam and an epic deathly scream filled the air. Failure. My OB walked right out of the room saying only, “get the epidural!”. She stated I was NOT dilated past 1 cm. As a result, the nurses had me going through a 10 hour regime of walking, squatting, bouncing on a medicine ball, hugging that medicine ball and just trying everything under the sun to get my body to dilate. Not happening. After all was said and done, I never dilated."

I value talking to the moms in my care as human beings, and discussing my findings and possible options with them. And there is no failure in labor. Zero. I cringe at the word. I would not expect you to dilate when you are not having waves of contractions/expansions, and I would not expect you to go into labor under this stressful pressure. Animals in the wild do not labor well when afraid or stressed, nor do humans. The mind and body are intricately connected. And the facts speak for themselves. Here is an anxious first time mom whose main bag of amniotic fluid has released presumptively, and is not yet having other signs of labor. Normal findings. Go home (even if you are planning a hospital birth) and do what you can to relax, cuddle, have fun, eat, drink, stay active but make sure to rest, prevent and monitor for infection. Most mamas go into labor naturally within 24 hours, a small percent by 48 hours, rarely longer. This is what you can do to help bring it on. These are the risks and benefits of watchful waiting versus medical induction. And we stay in touch.  

"Leading up to getting myself and the epidural ready, I was being induced with Pitocin. (My water broke only but I was not in labor. If that is even possible?!). With being induced, I started to feel the twisting and straining of labor. Not bad until the dosage was being raised higher and higher and then the pain. I was then offered, laughing gas. Never heard of this and surely didn’t think this would ever work for the pain of labor. I had a myriad of questions about this but the main one, will this hurt my baby? They assured me that inhaling this does not hurt the baby but helps with the pain. I was given the mask and told to breathe it in very deeply. I remember taking 3 deep breaths in and on the third I felt my entire body just instantly relax."

Yes, mama, it is normal - sometimes your water breaks before labor. And now there is the medication Pitocin creating contractions that are more painful than natural ones. Natural oxytocin secreted in labor stimulates the top of the uterus to contract so the bottom part, known as the cervix, thins and opens for baby to be born; this also leads to the production of opiate like hormones, beta-endorphins, that naturally lessen pain and produce a high that is reported after natural childbirth. The natural hormonal balance within the bodies of mama and baby has been disrupted here. There are serious short and long term consequences to this disruption that are downplayed and even disregarded by many in the medical world. For a wonderful discussion about the hormones of labor and the importance of not disturbing them, check out this amazing book by physician Dr. Sarah Buckley. ->

"My hand holding the mask dropped and I began to literally laugh. Laugh in a tone I have never heard before. So loud that the nurses had to ask my mom if this was normal! It was not normal, I could not control this screeching high pitched laugh at all. I had NO control over my body. It struck me as so funny that I could not control a thing and felt so relaxed... I was just as fine as can be with no pain. All I could feel was extreme pressure.

By then 15 hours passed, exhaustion set in and I was asked that dreaded question (meaning I knew it was going to be a c-section), “Do you want to have this baby?” I replied, “Yes.” I was truly and utterly exhausted, though. So it began, the preparation for getting ready for the c-section. Just breath, the anesthesiologist said right before he slid the needle in my lower back. I didn’t jerk nor did I feel any pain. Just a prick. Felt like a rush of cold water flowing down my back but from the inside. Almost immediately my legs went limp and felt as if they weighed 100 pounds each! It was the oddest feeling to see my legs yet couldn’t move them or have control. While the team was prepping for the procedure, I started to regain feeling in my right leg. Not sure why but the anesthesiologist had said that my spine was twisted slightly in the middle of my back. So right before I was taken into the birthing room, I had ANOTHER epidural done. I was completely numb at this point. My legs felt like lead weights, made me laugh that I could not move them no matter how hard I tried."

The cascade of interventions had already begun when admitted to the hospital. I am not surprised about the cesarean. Mama was not given much of a chance, even to have a vaginal birth. Of course she was exhausted. She had been up since 3:30 am and scared. 15 hours in the hospital under this duress probably seemed like forever. I totally get why mamas in this position just want it over with. 

"Into the operating room I went with only my partner. Upsettingly, my mom was not allowed in the room. It was a small room with white walls and 1 door in and out. I had one hand on my OB, the entire time. I was scared and felt so alone…I was also administered a spinal tap at this point. I was so out of it by now that I didn’t question why I even needed that… as well as why I needed morphine."

I am a huge advocate of what is termed the gentle cesarean, in which humanity is restored to the operating room. More and more providers are doing it. Mama can have her so needed support with her, and in this case, would include her mom as well as her partner. No mama should feel scared and alone, especially during a surgical birth. The drapes are lowered so mama is involved and can see her birth, baby is supported in gently emerging on its own from the incision (to simulate passage through the birth canal), into mama's hands and skin to skin bonding. Baby is allowed to receive the cord blood via delayed optimal clamping, and early breastfeeding is encouraged.   

"What I Was Feeling?

I felt so drugged up and my mind was just so distant. I felt alone and so very nauseated. I was throwing up the entire time. Especially during the c-section. The only things I was feeling physically were the shaving, the harsh pushing (she was pushing hard on my chest for a while, knocking the air our me moments at a time) and a vacuum of sorts (for the blood I am guessing).

What Was I Hearing?

The first words I heard from my OB was, “Look at all that hair!”. Yes, she had a full head of hair. Then moments later, I hear my daughter's first sounds… her cry. The most beautiful sound I heard and I just lost it. I started asking for her and crying uncontrollably. I couldn’t see anything but my blue tarp! Then she came around the side and was brought right to my face to kiss, feel and just love. I almost don’t remember after this. I also never got skin to skin right away either. I felt so sad because they took her away and I didn’t see her for almost 45 minutes later. I was also so exhausted that I think I was sleeping most of that time, I was in and out. Granted, post birth, the doctors had to stitch me back up, make sure I was ok and clean up but I figured I would get some time with her right away. I felt a bit of a disconnect. Is that normal?"

Yes, sweet mama. It is totally normal and expected to feel this way, given what you went through. Aside from the powerful obvious effects of the medications, the delicate natural hormonal balance within your body, responsible for bonding and attachment has been disturbed. When you are given the medication Pitocin, it suppresses your own production of oxytocin, the love, bonding and attachment hormone. You can certainly compensate with breastfeeding and skin to skin bonding time as much as possible postpartum. But this explains why you felt disconnected at the time. Pediatrician Dr Sears gives some helpful suggestions here.  You CAN heal... which may take some time and lots of support. But there is no place for shame and negative self judgement. You ROCKED your birth like a rockstar, despite being challenged to the max, and this is something to be immensely proud of. You have the strength of a warrior, strength YOU possess and can draw on forever. 

"Overall, after all was said and done my little girl was healthy and well, just wanted to sleep. The next 5 days were of recovery and just learning the ropes of motherhood. I am sure that the mommy reading this knows all the highs as well as the lows. For having a c-section, I couldn’t get out of bed for the first couple days, so thankfully my mom was a huge help with feeding, changing and caring for my baby…I also got extremely nauseated and had vomiting for the first day post birth as well.. I couldn’t eat anything. Just drink water. BUT loved all those nurses, all hours of the night, who brought my pain meds every 4 hours because healing from this was extremely painful. But amongst all that pain, I had no feeling in my legs for a long while but I noticed they were put into a compression device, constantly being massaged to keep blood flowing for a good 24 hours post birth. It did feel good and after the feeling came back into my legs I was instructed to begin walking around… noting that my feet would most likely begin to swell. It was a double edge sword here because when I would walk, my feet became so swollen that it merged with the width of my calf! Then they told me to put my feet up but yet I was supposed to be walking as much as possible. That double edge sword.

Home

After this week at the hospital was over, I headed home with my new baby girl and began a life changing feat that I just absolutely love. Well, sometimes.

Anani Pearl 7 lbs. 9 oz. 20 inches long

My name is Toki, mommy of Anani. Thank you for being a part of my little story… for me mothering will always involve long hours, heavy physical work and the type of worry that could bring down an elephant if put into a dart gun. I'm here to cultivate a sense of inner support to calm our mini little storms. You can read more about me and my family here: www.rockthebabybump.com ."

Toki, you are one amazing woman! Thank you for sharing your story and for allowing me to use it to raise awareness, empower and support other mamas, and do my part in helping to lower our country's soaring rates of cesarean births, especially those that could be prevented. Rather than creating more fear, I want to create more voices, who speak up respectfully in knowledgebale support of themselves, their babies and their families. Thank you for creating a blog to support other mamas.  

Let Me Help You Create The Happiest Birth Experience Of Your Life...

Whether you're a first time or experienced momma, planning a VBAC

Or a midwife, doula, or birth professional guiding mommas..

Regardless if you are intending to birth at home, a hospital, a birth center or need a cesarean section, or if you are taking another childbirth education class…

You Really Can Create The Delivery Of Your Dreams, ROCK your VBAC

And have a blissful birth wherever you are.

More Precious Than A Wedding...A Birth Should Be A Celebration!

Let me show you how to…

Image by Megan Hancock Photography

• Understand the sensations of your body and connect your intuition with how your body is communicating and leading you towards what to do during labor

• Tap into your inner calm to deeply relax yourself,letting go of busy, stressful and fearful thoughts on demand for the health of baby

• Speak your truth from your heart in a way that deepens your relationships, sets clear boundaries, and has people listen to you and support you before, during and after pregnancy

• Trust yourself, connect with your body wisdom andcommunicate with baby in belly

• Connect with natural time and sync your body and mind up with your unique biological clock for ease from pregnancy to postpartum

• Reprogram negative patterns, stories, and beliefs that undermine your confidence, strength and self trust so you can rock your birth

Physicians and midwives around the world recommend my teachings to their pregnant clients and many Doulas across the country learn the secrets of blissful birthing from me to supplement their Doula Training & Certification process!

To learn more, visit:  LOVE YOUR BIRTH Online Childbirth Course!

It is based on my years of experience, as a midwife and yoga teacher, helping thousands of women tap into their calm and live and birth from a place of grounded relaxation and joy. 

 

Get a 10% discount on your Sleepod purchases at askrembla.com

-use the code SWEETHOME to get your discount. 

I am passionate about changing lives. This 44-day course is changing lives. Vital Mind Reset is a program that will hold your hand and help you heal your life without a prescription. It will also introduce you to a community of people just like you – all working to transform their lives and revive their power and joy. Be a part of this community. Be a part of something greater and get yourself back! This course is a must, by renowned holistic psychiatrist Dr. Kelly Brogan, author of NY Times best seller 'A Mind Of Your Own', a dear friend and trusted colleague I can vouch for personally and support whole heartedly.

A Mama Who Loved Her HomeBirth

"We recently had an amazing home birth and we would love to have it feature on your page. It was such a serene, calm experience and having it at home was 100% the right choice for us. We chose to have our 4 year old Diaz and our 2 year old Harlequin at the birth and they were there to watch their new sister enter the world. We also had both of our mums and our midwives. Such a precious experience. I have attached some photos. One of them is of our girls and mums looking at Tan for the very first time. So special to have captured that moment. Your page is wonderful and I would look at it so often before our big day. I would sit and scroll through your account so much before our homebirth, thank you so much for creating  space where women can go to feel empowered and excited. I found it so encouraging to look at photos of other women having beautiful home births." @amorematerna  

Home•Sweet•Homebirth

‘You look like a woman who is about to go into labour’

This is what my midwife said to me on the morning before I delivered Tan. And when a lady who has been a midwife for 20 odd years says this to you, it’s definitely permission to feel excited. The rest of the day was relatively relaxed (two kids relaxed that is). I got some things from the shops, picked up the girls from my mums house after they had been there for a sleepover and made dinner. 

We put the girls to bed around 7 and headed to bed ourselves around 9. I had been having mild cramping for the week and a half leading up to birth so the gentle braxton hicks I was getting just before bed were a normal occurrence. But by 11 when I could no longer lay down and needed to pace around I realised what was happening. 

By around 12 30 both our mums were at the house. My mum was doing my folding and Zak’s mum was making cups of tea. 

For all my births I have had the same people by my side and having them here again, in the middle of the night, in the comfort of our home, was very centring.

My contractions were coming regularly but quite spaced out, I knew this meant it would be another long labour for me but I felt totally fine with that. My body knew exactly what it was doing. 

We laboured upstairs in our bedroom until 4 30am. After three labours and births I knew what worked for me each contraction and that involved things like gently squatting, pushing against a wall, leaning over the bed on my knees and also pulling my hair (whatever works hey!)

At 4.30 it was time to head downstairs to the beautiful birthing pool that was set up and full of water. The only light we had was from our diffuser. We had laid a rug down and the downstairs couch was draped with white sheets. 

It was a really calm space. 

It was also really nice 'timing wise’ to labour through the night. In the middle of the night the whole world feels more still, like no one expects anything from you. I felt so relaxed and in control. 

As soon as I sunk into the hot water I remembered how amazing it felt to use water during labour. The pressure came off of my hips and my whole body instantly felt lighter. 

This is also when things started to gain momentum. We called my midwife and told her how my contractions were feeling and she said she would be there soon. 

At about 5.30 (and an hour sooner than usual) we heard the girls bedroom door open and out came Diaz with the most precious look on her face 

'The baby is coming now?’ She asked. 

It was like a whole new wave of emotion washed over me when I saw her. The end result of this hard process was standing right in front of me with messy hair and cute pyjamas. 

I cried a wave of happy tears through my next contraction. 

By the time my midwife and student midwife arrived, things were defiantly underway. On the outside of the pool I had my mum and Zakky helping me bare down with every contraction and on the inside I had myself and my mind to get me through. 

Harlequin was awake by this stage but both the girls were upstairs with Zaks mum. Netflix and drawing were much more exciting then a silent room full of adults and their mum floating around in a pool they weren’t allowed to play in.

The 'transition’ stage of labour is the most confronting place I’ll ever go to. It really is such a measure of my mental strength. And I will forever reflect back on my times of transition through my three labours whenever I need to know what I’m capable of. 

During this whole time I could not have felt more at ease being in my own home. 

The feeling in the room was one of complete serenity. 

Given I was powering through my own personal battle to bring our life in the world, choosing to do it at home meant that it happened in the calmest of ways. 

I distinctly remember opening my eyes after one contraction to see Diaz’s little face peeping over the top of the birth pool. When we locked eyes she gave me a big smile and a double thumbs up. I felt like everyone in the room was rooting for me and the love was pouring in from all directions. 

I pulled Zak into the bath with me not long before Tan was born. Having his strong body support me through my final stages was exactly what I needed. I will forever be amazed at the lengths he will go to when I’m in labour to help me bare my pain. 

He was my rock. 

When she came into the world I scooped her into my arms and we stared at her for a long time before looking down to see what gender she was. 

It was then that Diaz decided to sing her new baby sister 'Happy Birthday’. Quinny filled in with the words that she knew and my heart sung at deciding to have them there. 

Baby Tan was finally here! She turned her head and started nuzzling my crop top and it was then that we had our first feed. Such an amazing thing to watch them, so instinctually, find the nourishment that they need as soon as they are born.

The whole process of birth is such a moving one. I always come away from it feeling so empowered and the fact that I had my third birth in the comfort of my own home only added to that feeling. 

It was absolutely the right choice for us and one we couldn’t be happier with.

❤️ https://amorematerna.tumblr.com/post/159748057125/homesweethomebirth

Let Me Help You Create The Happiest Birth Experience Of Your Life...

Whether you're a first time or experienced momma,

Or a midwife, doula, or birth professional guiding mommas..

Regardless if you are planning a birth at home, a hospital, a birth center or need a cesarean section, or if you are taking another childbirth education class…

You Really Can Create The Delivery Of Your Dreams.

And have a blissful birth wherever you are.

More Precious Than A Wedding...A Birth Should Be A Celebration!

Let me show you how to…

Photo by Megan Hancock Photography

• Understand the sensations of your body and connect your intuition with how your body is communicating and leading you towards what to do during labor

• Tap into your inner calm to deeply relax yourself, letting go of busy, stressful and fearful thoughts on demand for the health of baby

• Speak your truth from your heart in a way that deepens your relationships, sets clear boundaries, and has people listen to you and support you before, during and after pregnancy

• Trust yourself, connect with your body wisdom andcommunicate with baby in belly

• Connect with natural time and sync your body and mind up with your unique biological clock for ease from pregnancy to postpartum

• Reprogram negative patterns, stories, and beliefs that undermine your confidence, strength and self trust so you can rock your birth

To learn more, visit: LOVE YOUR BIRTH Online Childbirth Course!

Physicians and midwives around the world recommend my teachings to their pregnant clients and many Doulas across the country learn the secrets of blissful birthing from me to supplement their Doula Training & Certification process!

It is based on my years of experience, as a midwife and yoga teacher, helping thousands of women tap into their calm and live and birth from a place of grounded relaxation and joy. 

 

Get a 10% discount on your Sleepod purchases ataskrembla.com

-use the code SWEETHOME to get your discount.