Becoming The Creator Of Our Pregnancy, Birth and Life

As featured in the Best Holistic Life Magazine….

The biggest act of self-love is to become the creator of our lives, not the victim; to take charge of our thoughts, emotions, reactions, behavior and habits that do not serve us; to take responsibility for our own health and well-being, not depend on others to do that for us. As a holistic nurse-midwife of 27+ years, self-love includes taking back our pregnancies, births, and health of our babies. This takes lots of work. But the reward is divine, sacred , empowering and transformative. You want to shout from the roof tops how incredible your experience was, how it moved you and your partner to tears and opened your hearts, that you DID it, you found your strength in the challenge – in the mountain that you felt too big to climb, and you birthed your baby as YOU wanted to. Your body worked to birth as your heart knows how to beat and your lungs know how to breathe.  You can draw on this power forever as you face other mountains that seem too high.

In the westernized early 1900s, healthy birth was moved out of the homes and normal family life, and taken over by hospital institutions and their providers; it was treated as an illness and stripped of humanity; our ability to give birth and experience it in its intensity, its raw realness and wondrous beauty, surrounded by the support and wisdom of our loved ones was robbed from us. We surrendered our autonomy, and harmful things were done to us in our most intimate areas, at our most vulnerable moments; we trust technology and modern medicine rather than ourselves and our healthy bodies innately wise ability to grow, birth and breastfeed our babies, and our healthy babies’ ability to be born and breastfeed. This caused high rates of birth trauma and worsening health outcome stats for mom and baby as compared to developed countries, among other concerning long term effects.

There is HUGE hope. That depends on YOU. It involves lots of preparing like you are running your marathon, educating and empowering yourself with knowledge; mastering coping and life enhancing techniques to practice so they become habitual; shifting your mindset, getting your modern mind out of the way so you can let you body do its thing; remembering what you forgot; going against your conditioning, going against the grain, your culture, your family and friends who may not understand, and joining a new rapidly growing community who are doing this with you around the world; being very selective about the provider and setting you choose to give birth, and respectfully speaking up for your rights as an autonomous human being. This may involve paying more money, but it’s worth every penny. The outcome is not only a healthy mind, body , heart and spirit for you, but also for your baby and your family, you will all treasure forever. You will have the experience of pregnancy and giving birth beyond your wild dreams, supported as you deserve postpartum – as we have been for thousands of years before. You will LOVE the experience in spite of its intensity and challenges. You will be so darn proud of yourself with a heart bursting with joy and gratitude.

It is SO possible. But YOU must be the change. I recently received an email from a mama who lives in a remote rural area. She had no option for her birth setting and provider other than a small local hospital with an obstetrician with unacceptable, extremely high rates of risky interventions and cesarean. She was inspired by my social media pages, devoured my book. She wanted a natural birth, a special peak life, family-centered experience that is inherent in bringing the new life of your own baby into the world. He said he did not practice that way, never saw natural birth and did not believe in it. She empowered herself further by taking my online course, presented him with her evidence based decisions and choices, and kindly insisted that he honor her wishes, to be there in the background, just in case, to do nothing but let her body go through its natural physiologic process without disturbing it. He finally agreed. She had her beautiful healthy birth and not only was she in heaven, but also her obstetrician was humbled and moved beyond words. What a ripple effect that will have on how he cares for others in his practice. That is how we improve birth and make needed change.

My gift to you to get you started is my free guide to planning your own birth mini course - with video and PDF download. My advice is to prepare like a boss so you can rock you birth in all settings. It takes work, but it is beyond worth it. Here are more resources I have for you. Each are different, and they are meant to be used in adjunct to one another. Many blessings on your journey of a lifetime!

Love Your Birth Course

$397.00

NEW! and IMPROVED, including an extra 20+ BONUS Videos!

Love Your Birth is a holistic, holistic midwife created, doctor recommended, on-demand course to help you birth YOUR way at home, birth center or hospital. Prepare for the most blissful experience from pregnancy to postpartum.

I’ve taken everything I’ve learned, trained and supported women with locally for over twenty years in my private practice and I’ve poured all of my love, passion, knowledge and experience into creating something truly special for you ... LOVE YOUR BIRTH!

10 core video modules with 13+ downloadable resources and packed with over 20 new BONUS videos and resources:

• Health In Pregnancy

• Preparing The Mind

• Testing Procedures

• Anatomy and Physiology

• Labor Coping Techniques

• Birth Preferences

• Guidance For Dads And Partners

• Postpartum - the 4th trimester

• Breastfeeding and Newborn Care

• Meditation, Breathwork, Visualization and Relaxation

  NEW! Over 20 Newly-Added BONUS Videos Where I Answer the Most Common Questions I am Asked, and Discuss Hot Topics Relevant to Your Journey.

  Value — Priceless :)

  The videos include discussions about such topics as:

• What to do when family and friends not supportive of your choices.

• Supplements in pregnancy.

• Prenatal yoga.

• VBAC (Vaginal Birth after Cesarean).

• Kids at birth.

• Friends and family at birth.

• Ideal Candidates for homebirth.

• How to have a homebirth like experience in the hospital.

• More on the placenta.

• How to deal when things don’t go as planned, and so much more!

The key to a positive birth, is feeling confident, strong, relaxed, and empowered during the entire process, regardless of the twists and turns it may take.

Photo Credit: Megan Hancock Photography

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A Walk With Anne - Tips & Insights on Holistic Pregnancy, Birth & Beyond Online Course

$77.00

Take a walk with me, Anne Margolis, where I talk on topics that matter to you on your journey of planning pregnancy, birth, postpartum and beyond.

Over 45 short, sharp video talks, covering:

Planning pregnancy

• What to do

• The preconception appointment

  Pregnancy

• How to find & choose a provider

• When to start prenatal care

• Elective testing

• Pep talk for first trimester feeling sick symptoms

• Group B Strep

• Internal exams

• Preventing late pregnancy panic & birth trauma

• Pep talk for going past due date

• What we can control & when we need to let go & flow

• What happens at the prenatal home visit when planning a homebirth

• How to know if your tub is good for water labor/birth

• Tub temperature, when to set up & get in

• Planning a homebirth & packing a hospital suitcase?

• Dealing with homebirth in apartments or with neighbors close by

• Postpartum prep

  Birth

• Fear of losing control

• Pep talk for second time mama birth fears

• How we can improve birth outcomes

• Why the name Home Sweet Homebirth for all settings

• Handling emergencies out of hospital - at home or birth center

• Need for advocacy in hospitals & why we must be the change

• Soothing nature and labor sounds

• Visual for birth

• Inspiration for your birth

• The huge gift in birth

• Dogs & cats at birth

• When to call your provider in labor - noticing stages & progression

• Early labor pep talk

• Pep talk for on and off or prolonged labor

• The post birth sacred pause

• Dealing with birth ‘mess’

• Planned unattended freebirth

• Some things we learn from animals

  Postpartum

• Preparation begins in pregnancy, what you need to do, what support is needed

• Dealing with emergencies - processing & healing afterwards

• Postpartum illness, depression/anxiety

• Gifts to give your midwife

  Holistic Health and Healing

• What is it?

• Importance of posture & improving it

• Pausing throughout the day

• Tools for hard days

• How to find your inner calm

• Transforming ‘what if’ thinking

• Meditation - why and how

• Self-care non-negotiables

Watch anywhere/anytime, on your PC, laptop, tablet or mobile.

Prenatal & Mindful Hatha Flow Yoga Class Series Online Course

$147.00

This course has 16 yoga classes plus bonus material:

• Seven ~ 60-80 minute Prenatal Yoga classes

• Seven ~ 60-80 minute Mindful Hatha Flow Yoga classes

• A soothing Gentle Slow Flow Yoga class

• A Restorative Yoga class for deep relaxation

• Bonus videos of an hour Live more advanced Vinyasa Class, shorter breaks of yoga anywhere anytime, use of props - like the wall, a chair, yoga blocks, yoga belts, yoga blankets and bolsters to enhance your practice, and practicing with your baby or pet.

The prenatal yoga 7 class series will invite you to grow, strengthen, focus, train and enhance your mind, body, heart and spirit. Discover for yourself the calming, healing and transformative power of yoga - intentional meditative movement with breath. Classes begin with meditation made simple using breathwork, gradual warm up, increasing difficulty as well as yoga play, gentle cool down, and end with restorative practices in deep relaxation. They are slow flowing, with space to explore specific poses but are meant to challenge you. Classes are different each session, with classical fundamental alignment based asana fused with modern postures and their many modifications and varied creative transitions. The classes are taught with modifications for pregnancy, incorporate positions for positively influencing baby’s position and active birthing as well as those to relieve common discomforts in pregnancy. They also are fused with meditative, breathwork and visualization techniques and tools for coping with and easing sensations of labor and birth, which will transform your childbirth experience with regular practice.

The seven classes are there for you to practice a different class each day of the week or according to your own frequency, then start over again from the beginning of the series. Each class ranges from on average 60 minutes to 80 minutes, and they build on each other; following the sequence from class 1 onward is advised if it is your first time taking the series or are a beginning practitioner. Classes are mindful, at a slow safe pace, gentle but challenging, so that you build strength, flexibility & agility. They start with the basics but are for all levels, and beginners too are welcome! If you are not pregnant, you can use the prenatal classes as beginner classes, just modify as needed and use any mention of pregnancy and labor as it pertains to any labor of your own life. The need to relax into intensity and the multiple benefits of yoga practice pertain to everyone. Or simply take the general Mindful Hatha Flow Yoga Class Series online course.

Once you hone your skills, you can take the Mindful Hatha Flow 7 Class Series that follows, doing your own modifications as needed - for pregnancy or wherever you are on your yoga journey, or simply start them after you are recovered postpartum. They also build on one another and can be practiced successively until you are ready to mix and match and create your own classes and practice schedule.

Additional videos are included to enhance your practice with use of the various props, as well as a soothing gentle slow flow class and a restorative yoga class for deep relaxation (great for evening!), shorter breaks of doing it anywhere and anytime, and a live bonus video of a more advanced class.

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Want a comprehensive holistic guide to the journey of getting pregnant, being pregnant, birth, breastfeeding, postpartum and beyond? Check out the second edition of my international and national best selling book Natural Birth Secrets.

Natural Newborn Care

Congratulations! Having a new baby in the house is such an exciting and wonderful blessing. But, it can also be overwhelming, especially if this is your first or if you’re trying new things with this baby. Below are some tips to help guide you through this special time.

Feeding

Breast is best for you and your baby, but it is a learning process.  Allow a few weeks for the both of you to become pros. Get help from your midwife or lactation consultant as soon as possible if you are having difficulty. Some excellent resources are pediatrician Dr. Jack Newman’s website and his international center, as well as kellymom.com. General suggestions to ease the process are:

• Nurse baby on demand or every 1-½ to 3 hours while you are awake. If the baby has a 4-6 hour stretch in the middle of the night, let baby sleep.

• If baby is too sleepy to nurse this often in the beginning, try to rouse by  unswaddling and undressing, a diaper change, a gentle back rub, or a cool washcloth on the baby’s forehead.

• Nurse one side each feeding. Start the next session on the other breast.

• Alternate feeding positions between side lying, cradle and football hold.

• Burp baby as needed if appears gassy during and after feeding.

• Do not give baby glucose water or common formula, especially while you are trying to get the breastfeeding going. Breastmilk alone, including the ‘liquid gold’ initial breast milk colostrum, is adequate nutrition and hydration for at least the first six months when all is well. The water or formula fills up their tiny stomach so they nurse less, which makes you produce less milk, and the bottle’s teat confuses them and can impair their ability to suck on your nipple. If there are issues and you do need to supplement, pumped or donor breast milk from certified mild banks is the choice method of feeding. If you must give formula, go for the organic brands that most closely resemble breast milk. Use a dropper to the side of baby’s mouth, supplemental nursing system or slow flow nipples that are more similar to the breast.

• Avoid smoking, alcohol and drugs while breastfeeding. Always consult your practitioner before taking any medications or herbal preparation.

• Limit caffeinated beverages to no more than 1-2 cups per day.

• To calm a screaming baby that is too upset to nurse, try:

  • Changing the diaper

  • Burping baby

  • Swaddling baby in a blanket

  • Giving baby a warm bath

  • Cradling or cuddling baby close to your chest

  • Rocking

  • Singing

  • Swinging

  • Talking softly to baby

  • Giving baby a gentle back massage

  • Taking baby for a walk or car ride

  • Holding baby in a position that allows application of slight pressure on his or her abdomen

  • If all else fails, give baby to your partner, take 30 minutes, and try again.

Sleeping

Babies sleep about 18 hours per day.  Place your baby on his or her back, or side to sleep, with baby’s back supported by a rolled receiving blanket.

Bowel Movements and Voiding

Babies have greenish-black, sticky stool for the first few days. This is called meconium.  Breastfed babies’ stool will then become golden-yellow, soft, and seedy-looking. Once your full milk comes in and replaces colostrum, your baby will have 1-4 stools and 6-8 wet diapers in a 24 hour period. Change the baby before each feeding to prevent diaper rash. For a reddened diaper area, use homeopathic calendula, zinc oxide or herbal diaper cream, A & D ointment,  Desitin cream plain or with zinc oxide. French green clay is excellent for diaper rashes. Use talcum free baby powder. Place baby on an absorbent pad and allow periods for baby to be diaper free, or read up on elimination communication - training baby to poop and pee on the potty! 

Cord Care

Keep the cord stump dry by folding the front of the baby’s diaper down. Squeeze a saturated cotton ball of alcohol or hydrogen peroxide to the cord stump three times per day to keep it clean. Open a capsule and apply powdered goldenseal herb or herbal combination cord powder around the base. The cord stump should fall off by itself within 8-12 days after the birth. 

General Care

Wash hands before handling the baby.

Bathe baby with mild natural soap and water, and wash the baby’s hair with a gentle tear-free natural shampoo several times per week (ideally every day – they love it).  

After the first 24 hours and the baby’s body temperature stabilizes, dress him according to the temperature as you would dress. 

Best to file than cut long nails with scissors, so baby does not scratch her/himself.   

Take the baby for a daily outing, but keep the baby away from crowds and people with contagious illnesses.  

Wear your baby. Experiment with a few baby carriers and see which one you and baby like the best.

Add to your collection The Baby Book by William and Martha Sears, as it is a wonderful “must have” comprehensive reference and guidebook to the baby’s first two years of life and virtually every aspect of care.

If you had antibiotics or baby was born by cesarean, take extra precautions to restore baby’s microbiome (healthy balance of flora).

Safety

It is State law and safe practice that babies ride in car seats every time that they travel in a vehicle. 

Always make sure that the baby is not unattended on changing tables, beds or other high places.   

If the baby sleeps in bed with you, make sure baby is in a sleeping pod or baby lounger, and that the bed has a guard rail. Do not keep pillows, stuffed animals or extra blankets in the baby’s sleeping area.

Danger Signs

Contact your pediatrician immediately if:

• The baby becomes listless, will not nurse, is inconsolable, has high pitched screaming, or behaves in an unusual way.

• The baby does not urinate within the first 24 hours, or voids less than 6 diapers per day after your milk is in.

• The baby has no bowel movement for 48 hours, or has more than 10 watery green, foul-smelling diarrhea diapers per day.

• The cord starts to smell bad or has pus oozing from it and the area around it becomes red and swollen.

• The baby’s temperature is below 97 degrees or above 99 degrees when taken under the baby’s arm.

• The whites of the babies eyes become yellow or the skin color becomes a yellow or tan tinge.

• The baby’s skin turns blue or white, especially the trunk or around the mouth.

• Projectile vomiting.

For more tips on newborn care and breastfeeding, read my Natural Birth Secrets Book 2nd edition and take my online course. Need more personal guidance? Schedule a consultation with me.  Many of the reputable brands of remedies I recommend are available in my online holistic apothecary.

For extra support in relieving common aches and pains, wear an abdominal binder. like Bellefit. They make postpartum support girdles that mamas really love. I have a holistic approach to life, including healing after pregnancy and birthing. Nothing replaces abdominal toning and exercise for restoring muscle strength and tone - which I encourage for all mamas as soon as they feel up to it postpartum. Nothing replaces touch, slow deep abdominal breathing, and a 'love your postpartum body' perspective that I promote.  But I have found many mamas simply feel comforted by this support garment, especially early postpartum and temporarily as needed....to be used without forfeiting abdominal toning and strengthening exercise, breathing well and touch. 

I have found Bellefit supportive garments to help like they use belly binding around the world such as in Indonesia. They do aid in early postpartum healing and provide support many mamas feel comforted by. I deal with human beings and the reality is many postpartum mom's struggle with body body image, feel frustrated that getting back to themselves takes longer than expected. Being into holistic health and healing includes being sensitive to real human struggles - the mind, body, heart and soul of each person and their unique situation. Having helped countless women with these issues after having a baby as a midwife, I have found many still love that binding and feel better with this support, and ability to fit into their pre-pregnancy clothes comfortably and sooner than they would if they went through a C-section or natural childbirth recovery without it - especially when they have to dress up and fit into a certain favorite outfit for a special occasion or wedding not long after having a baby.

Have a Great Postpartum Recovery (with a little help from Bellefit)!

Lying-In and Postpartum Recovery with Earth Mama Organics

While having a new baby is truly an amazing experience, your new beginning with baby and your postpartum recovery should always begin with rest, healing and self care, also known as “Lying In”. Understanding that our bodies crave healing and support after the miracle of birth is incredibly important.

Throughout history, children were raised in communities. When a woman labored, she was surrounded by friends and family. After birth, she was off duty to rest, recover, and breastfeed, while her tribe cooked, cleaned, took care of the other kids, and ran needed errands. Today, most of us live separated from our families, often experience pregnancy through postpartum more or less alone, and deliver our babies amongst strangers. A friend or a family member might stay with us briefly after our babies are born, but then we’re on our own. Because of this, it’s important to know what steps to take in order to best prepare for your postpartum recovery.

HAVE A PLAN. Make the most of the time you have with your new baby by creating a plan of recovery in advance. Postpartum struggles can be very overwhelming. By having a plan and sharing that plan with loved ones, you are eliminating some or all of the most common postpartum stressors. Earth Mama Organics provides a free downloadable Lying-In Plan, created to help guide expecting mamas through thinking about their own plans for postpartum healing. My online course has an entire module devoted to helping you know what to expect and how to plan for the support you need during this sensitive time.

MEDITATE. Taking time to relax and calm your mind can make a huge difference in our external and internal energies, by sitting or lying in a comfortable position and focusing on your breathing; guiding it to be slow, deep and even (make the inhale to exhale ratio each to a count of 3 or 5 for example) or doubling the exhalation time (inhaling to a count of 3, exhaling to a count of 6) is especially soothing. If meditation isn’t your cup of tea, try to find time to relax in quiet with your favorite book or listen to calming, uplifting music or sounds. Know that it's alright to take a moment for yourself. Your energy and your mental health need nourishment during the postpartum period. 

PREPARE YOUR HOME/RECOVERY SUITE. When the ‘nesting phase’ kicks in, and it likely will, channel that energy into creating a space that is postpartum friendly and unique to you. In the weeks leading up to your labor, gather some or all of your postpartum/newborn necessities and make sure they are in a place that is easily accessible to you when you’re lying in with baby. The last thing you need is to run to the other side of your home to grab a diaper or nipple-balm as soon as you’ve laid down. Make sure your linens are clean and things are where you’d want them, so that you’re ready and able to spend your time healing and connecting with your baby.

SELF CARE is so very crucial during this time. Earth Mama’s line of herbal products are specifically designed to care for women before, during and after pregnancy. These products are made the way herbalists have been doing it for centuries; through infusion. As most of my readers know, I widely support a holistic approach to pregnancy and postpartum recovery, so knowing that these products are made traditionally and are organic, without any parabens or artificial fragrances is reassuring. These processes offer a more powerful concentration of herbs, thus allowing the herbs to really do their jobs.

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The following Earth Mama postpartum recovery care products are formulated to help new mothers to feel their best while connecting with their newborn. These products can be used to treat perineal soreness, lacerations/episiotomy, hemorrhoids, and c-sections as well as a number of other concerns. 

Organic Herbal Sitz Bath These easy to use herbal sachets are made from a combination of organic witch hazel, yarrow, plantain and calendula, and can be used to brew a sitz bath or as a cold compress for immediate relief to the perineal area. Earth Mama suggests mamas should brew, cool, and pour the herbal sitz over a regular postpartum pad, freeze the pad, and then use it as an ice pack for long lasting relief! You can make a bunch in advance and freeze them in a ziplock bag. 

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Organic Perineal Balm provides lasting, cooling comfort down below. Made with organic herbs and oils, this product sits on the surface of the skin, allowing the herbs within the product to stay put and help in the healing process. This product can be used as needed, so be sure to apply it as often as you’d like. 

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Herbal Perineal Spray This touch-free spray serves up quick, temporary symptomatic relief dispensed with an upside-down sprayer, making it easy to apply to those swollen or hard to reach places. According to Earth Mama’s website, leftovers can be used as a refreshing facial toner or after shave spritz which sounds enchanting and refreshing! 

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Organic Skin and Scar Balm This product is made with a nourishing blend of organic herbal ingredients, traditionally used to help reduce the appearance of scars and stretch marks. While stretch marks are all but preventable and genetics are mostly to blame, this balm aids in reducing the appearance of the inevitable - even though I encourage you to embrace these marks of new mama beauty, blessing, strength and wisdom. A little goes a long way and as long as your wounds are closed, this Earth Mama Organic Skin and Scar Balm can be applied up to three times per day.

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Organic Periodic Tea First and foremost, it is important to note that this tea is NOT for use during pregnancy. Originally labeled, “Postpartum Recovery Tea” this tea can be consumed within the first hour after birth. It’s benefits include a reduction in bleeding, cramping, and assistance with the hormone shifts experienced after birthing both your baby and placenta. I find that this tea is best served nice and hot, but you may enjoy it cooled and over ice as well! 

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Postpartum Recovery Time
It’s common to be very active with self-care before giving birth and then feel it’s impossible to balance everything after birth. It’s normal to have anxiety and fear around what might happen if you don’t get it all done and even start talking down to yourself for not 'doing enough.' Take the time to remember that not everyone’s body heals on the same schedule and while one mama may feel normal in a few weeks time, there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking things at your .own pace. If you need regular contact with someone who understands the physical and psychological levels of what is happening to support you through this time, I offer an array of holistic care options for post-partum mamas.

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Postpartum Struggles Are Real

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Statistics show that about 15% of new mommas experience postpartum depression. And 70-80% of us experience “baby blues,” that 2 week period after the baby’s born when we can feel confused, overwhelmed, sensitive and just not ourselves.

If this is you, you’re obviously not alone. Here’s what you need to know: There is no failure in pregnancy, birth and postpartum.

You can move with grace through potential sadness, grief, fear, and anger to embrace and heal from your experience. When you are struggling with feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, depressed or anxious, unconfident and unsure, a holistic postpartum plan can give you back your joy and confidence. You got this. But it takes a village to raise a baby and new parents. Sometimes we just need a little guidance and support - especially in modern times.

I know what it’s like to experience birth trauma and struggle to put it behind me. Or to try to find balance when there’s a new baby in the house - when the idea of “me time” seems like a cruel joke.

After My Own Last Birth I was Sick and Alone

Even as a nurse-midwife, I found myself in a postpartum situation that confused and scared me.

Several weeks after the baby was born, I began to feel like I was over caffeinated. My thoughts were racing, I was extremely agitated, panicked, completely overwhelmed and unable to function. Making decisions felt impossible and I couldn’t sleep. I felt faint, and was losing weight.

I was ashamed and embarrassed. How could I, an expert, find myself in such a state of confusion and intolerable symptoms of anxiety? I didn’t want to ask for help. The people I did ask were unable to treat me, and my husband was confused and worried.

I started to have scary and repetitive thoughts. Noises seemed too loud. Faces seemed too big. What the hell was wrong with me?! I felt like I was drugged. Somehow I suspected my thyroid was off, so I asked my colleague to draw my labs. Then I nearly passed out.

After a call to 911 and subsequent visits to a postpartum stress center, I learned that I had postpartum thyroiditis, an autoimmune condition in which the thyroid initially makes too much hormone, before not making enough.

The diagnosis gave me the confidence to finally accept help. I knew now that I wasn’t crazy. I knew I shouldn’t be embarrassed...but I was at the time. I stayed with my mother, who lived several hours away - near the center - for an entire month. And my husband and friends all worked together to care for my other kids at home.

I had to stop work for an entire year while recovering from my illness. And it took me a number of years to fully heal using a comprehensive holistic approach. My yoga and meditation practice were life changing, but the complete healing happened after intensive Clarity Breathwork sessions. It was the most delicious and miraculous feeling of relief I ever experienced.

The Forgotten Fourth Trimester

Throughout history, children were raised in communities. When a woman labored, she was surrounded by friends and family. She was attended to by the community midwife, often the same person who was there for the births of all the other babies in the area and potentially even her own birth. After birth, she was off duty to rest, recover, and get the breastfeeding, while her tribe cooked, cleaned, took care of the other kids, and did needed errands.

Now, we live separated from our families, often experience pregnancy through postpartum more or less alone, and deliver our babies amongst strangers. A sister or mother-in-law might stay with us briefly after our babies are born, but then we’re on our own.

In the US, women are sent home alone after a few days in the hospital, and maternity leave is shockingly brief. We’re expected to pick up at work right where we left off after just a few short weeks at home with our new baby. Paternity leave is almost non-existent in this country, except for some more progressive family friendly workplaces.

Of course so many of us experience depression, anxiety, worry, and a lack of confidence! This way of viewing motherhood is simply unnatural. You can’t institutionalize the sacred.

But, thriving postpartum is possible. Especially when you go into it with a plan.

How to thrive postpartum

If you’re currently struggling in your “fourth trimester,” here are some tips you can implement right away to take the edge off.

Exercise. Try to make time for whatever type of movement feels good to you. Have someone take the baby while you go to a class. Put her in the stroller and go for a walk. Put on a workout video while she’s napping. Turn on some music that reflects your mood and move your emotions with your body; then turn on something upbeat and dance like noone is watching.

Connect with your community. Join a mommy support group either online or in-person. Reach out to friends and family that tend to cheer you up or make you feel comforted. Ask a neighbor to join you for a walk. Take a postpartum mommy and me yoga class. Don’t be afraid to open up about how you’re feeling. You might be surprised how many people can relate. And make sure to get daily soul nurturing hugs.

Meditate. Taking time to center down can make a big difference in our energy and confidence. Spend quiet time in nature. If you’re not accustomed to meditation, find a guided audio to listen to or just turn on some relaxing instrumental music, get comfortable and focus on your breath.

Nap. Now is not the time to stress about housework. Sleep deprivation leads to depression, anxiety, reduced memory and concentration, weight gain and a host of other health problems. Allow yourself to nap when the baby’s napping. The housework can wait.

Skip the sugar. Regularly eating sweets and simple carbs like breads and pastries puts us through a vicious cycle. Sugar crashes lead to low energy and low moods, which lead to carb cravings. Stick to fresh whole foods - and add more protein and healthy fat for a balanced diet and a balanced mood.

Do what you love. Each day, do things that bring you joy - even if it is for a few minutes at first. Think about what excites you and try to do more of it in your regular routine. Let it be easy and simple. That may be a quiet cup of tea, a visit with your friend, a stroll in the park, a flower or herbal bath in candlelight, watching comedy, getting a massage, doing some yoga. As baby gets older, make taking some time to yourself each day to do these things a non-negotiable like eating, drinking and sleeping.

Seek help. When your sadness or anxiety feels like more than “baby blues,” seek a qualified professional to help you through it. If, like me, you have an undiagnosed medical condition, the suggestions above just won’t be enough.

I have a holistic approach to life, including healing after pregnancy and birthing. Nothing replaces abdominal toning and exercise for restoring muscle strength and tone - which I encourage for all mamas as soon as they feel up to it postpartum. Nothing replaces touch, slow deep abdominal breathing, and a 'love your postpartum body' perspective that I promote.  But I have found many mamas simply feel comforted by this support garment, especially early postpartum and temporarily as needed....to be used without forfeiting abdominal toning and strengthening exercise, breathing well and touch. 

I have found Bellefit supportive garments to help like they use belly binding around the world such as in Indonesia. They do aid in early postpartum healing and provide support many mamas feel comforted by. I deal with human beings and the reality is many postpartum mom's struggle with body image, feel frustrated that getting back to themselves takes longer than expected. Being into holistic health and healing includes being sensitive to real human struggles - the mind, body, heart and soul of each person and their unique situation. Having helped countless women with these issues after having a baby as a midwife, I have found many still love that binding and feel better with this support, and ability to fit into their pre-pregnancy clothes comfortably and sooner than they would if they went through a C-section or natural childbirth recovery without it - especially when they have to dress up and fit into a certain favorite outfit for a special occasion or wedding not long after having a baby.

For more info on the Bellefit girdle, check out my blog about it here. Have a Great Postpartum Recovery (with a little help from Bellefit)!

“Anne Margolis was my incredible midwife. She is practical, science-based, and vastly experienced, but most importantly, she’s an awakened woman here to light the path to your most joyful self. Anne is the incredible midwife who taught me, through this process, how to midwife my own patients’ rebirth experience.
Her own educational course is a deep but manageable dive into her accumulated wisdom, packaged for your journey. Forget your childbirth class, and take steps to your most empowering experience. If you are thinking about conception, pregnant, or love someone who is, take it from me that her wisdom is life-changing.Yours in the truth.”

— Dr. Kelly Brogan MD

Excellent childbirth education and preparation in advance are crucial for rocking your birth and postpartum experience, and are major reasons why I created my Love Your Birth course. It is a comprehensive online course that teaches women what they need to know about planning and carrying out the birth that they want in all settings - the hospital, birthing center or at home. It’s a course on how to have a holistic, healthy pregnancy through postpartum - for the body, mind, and soul - and is how I have guided thousands of women and their families in my midwifery practice for over 21 years. It contains a rolodex of my favorite resources with over 200 of the best books, movies and supplies I use personally and professionally with my clients, family & friends. Even diving into a fraction of this list will have you feeling empowered and prepared for conception, pregnancy, postpartum and parenting...It includes resources on improving and even ensuring ensuring healthier pregnancy and birth outcomes than the status quo, and preventing and healing from birth trauma so prevalent in the modern world! I also help you prepare your mindset for such a task, to debunk myths, and to reframe any current ideas or conditioning about pregnancy, birth and postpartum that can use a change in perspective or that are simply incorrect and do serve you. After finishing the course, the idea is that you are now able to create and have the healthy, beautiful and empowering journey through pregnancy, birth and new parenthood that you really want. 

How to Prevent and Heal Birth Trauma in Babies

In part two of birth trauma in babies, we’ll be looking at how to prevent birth trauma in the first place for your little one. We’ll also look at how to help your baby heal from trauma, if it did already happen.

Your baby will learn about care, love, and healing; it’ll benefit him or her for life!

How to Prevent Birth Trauma in Babies

In terms of prevention, a healthy pregnancy and beautiful natural birth are sure ways of encouraging healthy outcome and without birth trauma for you or your baby.

So, let’s quickly look at what you can do to promote a healthful and deeply fulfilling experience, while preventing any need for intervention that can lead to traumatic experiences.

Having a Natural Birth

So, what can you do to put in place the kind of birth that will support you and your baby to come into the world as nature intended?

Begin with preparation in pregnancy.

Attend my webinar on preventing birth trauma.

In it, I go over crucial tips that’ll help you develop a comprehensive plan and prepare for a natural birth. You must prepare well in advance, like you would for running the 26 mile marathon, or your own wedding.  If you want to succeed in getting what you want - rocking and loving your experience and have a healthy outcome physically and psychologically - you can not afford to just wing it. Not in today's world. 

Yes, your body knows how to give birth, when we get our modern minds out of the way and we are with people and in settings that support it and do not disturb it when everything is normal and healthy. 

Look for a midwife or doctor and birth setting setting with high rates of successful natural births, without routine unnecessary interventions, that completely allows you to have your voice, and respects and supports your decisions.

You may need to learn a complete mindset shift, especially if you do not know anything about natural birth, or have not been around it as women were throughout history; this is extremely important if you don't feel confident, have lots of fear and do not feel supported.  Although underestimated, preparing your mindset is also a powerful and a foundational place to begin when creating your birth plan and getting ready for your birth. When you set your intentions for your experience, you’re more likely to manifest what you want. 

The mindset plays a huge role in the success of famous athletes, performers, as well as business men and women - they all have coaches to help them with that so they become the rockstars they are. You do not need to be famous or perform. But you do need to take back your birth so you can have a healthy one that you love, and without trauma. Your ability to do this rests in your attitude and mindset, that needs to transform and be different than the herd mentality.

And do hire a doula - who can be your coach for your big day. It is another must.

Do any of the following situations apply to you?

• It is your first baby,

• It’s your first time planning a natural birth,

• You want a vaginal birth after cesarean birth, or

• You already had a traumatic birth and want to plan for a much better, and completely different, experience next time around.

If you answered yes to any of the above, then I recommend you take my online Love Your Birth  course as it goes over all of this in much greater depth. I literally teach you how to transform your mindset so that it serves you on this journey of a lifetime.

The lessons in the course come from my extensive experience guiding and and empowering women and their families in my practice. They’ve led to the awesome birth experiences that I have been honored to witness for over 20 years.

All mamas who have been through it benefited from it immensely. Take a look.

What to Do During and After the Birth

Babies are way more capable than we give them credit! Your unborn baby—when he or she is ready—is naturally inclined, with the help of your body's labor, to move through the birth canal of their own will and effort, when given the opportunity. 

Photo by @senhoritasfotografia.

In part one of this birth trauma in babies blog series I discussed how babies are actually more alert, cognizant and sensitive than we realize. If we interrupt the birthing and postpartum process when all is well, with any kind of medical or surgical procedures, testing and interventions, the baby will feel terrified, unsafe, their own agency taken away, their space violated and threatened. Then the trauma reaction ensues! Interventions that can cause trauma can include drugs, internal electrodes on their head, forceps, vacuum, cesarean, immediate cord clamping, suctioning their airway, rough handling, or separation from mom. All the more so when there are complications and interventions are truly needed. 

We need to be sensitive to the baby’s psychological experience when giving care during and after the process of delivery. In the womb and certainly as a newborn, baby is fully aware and conscious and is even more vulnerable to trauma than an adult, as baby's nervous system is still developing.

In addition to the prevention mentioned above, we can help minimize risk of birth trauma by creating a homey and private atmosphere for both mom and baby - in all settings.

That includes dim, soft lighting, and a quiet, peaceful, slow paced environment.  Also, if a mom feels loved, honored, supported and cared for, if she feels calm, safe, intimate and sensual, she’ll not only labor real well, but also will have yummy hormones that pass over to baby, so baby is bathed in them and feels this as well.  Check out my birth trauma series about mothers for more on how we can prevent and heal trauma in moms.

When I talk about gentle care, I’m talking about gentle handling, soothing reassuring voice and touch, eye contact, being held, breastfeeding, and a lot of skin-to-skin contact with mom or partner —this should begin after birth.

Photo by @sehorhitasfotografia.

Don’t cut the cord immediately either. That is baby's life line to oxygen, blood volume and essential nutrients and immunity to help baby transition to life outside the womb. Clamp it only after the pulsing stops or the placenta is birthed. 

Babies also love relaxing music and bath water - and who wouldn't like flower petals floating around, the ambiance of real or electric candles, and a delicious light scent of lavender or citrus?  If you have a water birth, watch them open up, move their arms and legs, and look around when held in the birthing pool. 

This is a sacred time for meeting, connecting to and bonding with each other, so unplug from your phone and computer, and have someone else in charge of spreading the exciting news and taking pictures.

If a cesarean birth is needed, it can be gentle, to simulate a family-centered, natural birth as much as possible, so it feels like a huge personal celebration rather than an operation. These same concepts apply however baby comes into the world.

Furthermore, any procedures or exams that need to happen after the baby’s birthed can be done at mom’s bedside while she’s holding and soothing her baby, explaining what’s going on if something is being done to either of them. A healthy baby needs to stay with parents at all times and not be rolled away in an isolate crib, taken to the noisy and brightly lit nursery of strangers for any examination or intervention. 

How Can Babies Heal from Birth Trauma

In today’s technological world, there are more stressful, scary, drug-induced labors and surgical births than ever before, especially here in the United States. Healthy birth has become an impersonal medical and/or surgical event, a potential crisis waiting to happen in an intensive care like setting in many hospitals; is not a normal, beautiful part of life, the humane, cozy, family-centered celebration it once was.

At least there are some improvements happening here and there, such as:

• Fetuses are not exposed to toxic X-rays,

• Women's pubic hair is no longer shaved,

• They are not forced to take an enema,

• They are not strapped down and given drugs that made them act psychotic, prevent memory of their birth and endangered their babies,

• Partners and newborn babies are allowed in the room with mom, and

• Babies are not forced to have formula instead of breastfeeding.

Needless to say, a lot of healing needs to take place in the last several generations, once birth was moved to hospitals in the early part of the 1900s!

Let’s take a look at some of the things we can do to help heal birth trauma in babies.

After the Traumatic Birth

In working with traumatized babies and infants, the most important thing in giving care is love. This may seem obvious but don’t take this parental superpower for granted!

As a parent, lead with your heart. It is full of wisdom and does not lie, but rather sends you in the right direction.

When interacting with your baby, always have tenderness, comfort and compassion in mind—for yourself and your baby! The more compassion you have for yourself, the easier you can extend it to others in abundance.

Practice Kangaroo Care - while in the hospital, if intensive care is needed, and definitely at home. This simply involves holding baby (clothed in a diaper only) against your skin and cover yourselves with a blanket. Its benefits are well documented and can be done safely despite baby's attachment to medical devices in the NICU, depending on baby's condition. Basic closeness, touch and attention improve their health and healing immensely.  

Your baby needs to know that even when life gets difficult—because it will—there’ll always be love. You can provide ongoing reassurance you are there for your baby. Talk to your baby in a soothing manner, and allow them to tell their story with their body and in the nonverbal way that they do. They have much to say without the ability to talk. 

Their excessive crying or “fussiness” is not simply difficult baby behavior—they’re trying to tell us something. Validate their scary experience and let them know that they’re safe now. Sing to them. Rock them. Calm them.

Take a look at renowned midwife Karen Strange’s resources on baby trauma healing. She is an expert and international educator in neonatal resuscitation and works fully from the baby’s perspective. You can begin using these incredible tools of connecting with baby in pregnancy. 

Working with a Therapist

In treating traumatized babies, Dr. Graham Kennedy tells us that a therapist will be observing and interacting with the affected baby through movement as well as through “hands-on palpation using craniosacral therapy.”  Therapists skilled in somatic experience and cutting edge trauma healing modalities for babies are ideal. You can find a list of some wonderful ones here. 

Usually, the movements the baby begins to make are similar to those he or she made in the womb during labor, but this time giving us the story of what happened to them.

“Working with babies involves holding a space in which they feel supported enough to begin to tell us the story of what happened to them, what they experienced and where it became difficult or even traumatic.” (Graham Kennedy, November 2008)

This reenactment can have a profound change on the baby’s brain, rewiring them to experience what they would have experienced in labor were they to have had a stress-free and intervention-free experience.

There are many possible imprints and effects of birth trauma, but they can all be healed. This is well backed by much literature, science and research, especially as we are growing in our understanding of trauma, its impact and how to heal from it when we get stuck in trauma responses. 

For example, down the line, you may notice your infant or young child having trouble starting or completing tasks (or both!). This may be an effect of their birth having been interrupted—this may have caused your baby trauma, it is stored in their bodies, and now they’ve learned to carry with them a certain passivity.

Babies born by forceps, vacuum or cesarean may later on feel they have to be rescued, can't do it alone, support is painful, get angry with authority, being controlled or manipulated, or they may not want to be here at all - and that can impact every aspect of their lives.

Babies who were drugged from their moms getting pain medication, may suppress their aliveness, have issues with addiction, feel spacey, out of it and trouble being conscious in their own lives.

Babies who spent time in an incubator away from their parents, feel separate and alone, have deep longing for connection and touch, develop a psychic wall of protection, and are easily triggered by abandonment.

In later childhood through adult years, this can be completely resolved with Clarity Breathwork - I do sessions locally in my practice, and online for the global community. 

The trauma response is an important part of our lives and it is our brain’s and body's way of protecting us at the time of perceived danger. It is a normal instinctual reaction in animals, including humans of all ages, and does not become a disorder unless it is interfered with and suppressed.

It does however, need to be treated with expertise for complete effective healing. If there is a traumatic response dysfunction, it is not a life sentence. You don’t have to hold on to those scripts anymore and neither does your baby. Full recovery is possible.

Healing birth trauma in babies is one of the most caring and giving things we can do for our children. 

Do you want to heal from trauma, inner stress and emotional pain that is negatively impacting your life? Let me help you! Read my book Trauma Release Formula available on Amazon.