Part one and two of a an awesome video I was invited to do with Joni, a mama in my practice who had a homebirth birth after cesarean, that really brings together many things pregnancy, birth, and breathwork, holistic health and healing.
Natural Remedies and Resources for Stress in Pregnancy and Beyond
Pregnancy can be an emotional rollercoaster, a time of increased sensitivity, and life circumstances often feel heightened. However, there is a wide variety of natural remedies and resources to help steady moods and enjoy the beautiful experience of pregnancy. The below recommendations will not only assist with stress relief during pregnancy, but during many stages of life. Also, do check out a recent related blog where I talk about 40 wonderful ways you can manage the powerful waves of emotions in pregnancy and beyond.
SUPPLEMENTS
For general health and physical and emotional well-being during pregnancy, make sure to eat healthy foods, stay well hydrated, and take supplements to make sure you supply yourself with needed nourishment not supplied by diet alone. Take:
A whole food prenatal multivitamin with minerals
Fish oil tested free of pollutants, for omega three essential fatty acids, 1000-2000 mg 1-2 times daily
Calcium, 250-500mg 2-3 times daily
Magnesium, 200-500mg 2-3 times daily
Vitamin B complex, 20-50 mg daily
Vitamin D, 1000 -2000 units per day, more if low blood levels
An excellent mega probiotic once daily
Get screened for iron deficiency anemia, which is common in later pregnancy, as it can exacerbate your emotional symptoms and is easy to treat. If you are prone to low iron levels, since it is almost impossible to get the necessary amount of iron in pregnancy from diet alone, you may want to prevent anemia early on by taking an herbal iron supplement like Floradix Iron tablets or in liquid.
MINDFULNESS
A wonderful life-changing approach to internal stress, feelings of depression and anxiety is learning about present moment awareness and mindfulness, and incorporating it into your daily life.
Try to make a conscious effort to increase feelings of forgiveness, appreciation, love, joy, optimism and healing, while letting go of anger, resentment, envy, fear, sadness and negativity. Most importantly, increase your awareness of anxiety provoking, tension causing, or depressive thought patterns that are not serving you. Try to shift your attention to something more positive and ultimately change your mental state. You can actually transform them at their deeper subconscious roots with Clarity breathwork.
Know that you are in charge of your feelings and how you react to stressful or painful situations, and that you have the ability to change your attitude and reaction to life experiences to more health enhancing responses. For example, you can surrender to and totally accept unpleasant life events over which you have no power. You can also view them as potential gifts, powerful stimulus to change, a wake-up call, an opportunity for personal growth, redirection and spiritual practice.
You can always try to focus as much attention as possible on the now, literally without letting your thoughts wander and dwell into the past or imagined future. Mastery over your thoughts, attitudes and reactions can have a dramatic impact on your brain chemistry, balancing the hormones responsible for affecting moods and emotions, and preventing and even treating clinical depression and anxiety.
Reduce feelings of tension and increase feelings of calm centeredness and balanced grounding by taking a “healing interval” to meditate for 10-20 minutes 2-3 times per day. Sit comfortably and quietly. Keep your eyes closed and internally focused between your eyebrows or softly gazing at a low, still object or place (like where the floor meets the wall). Turn off the mental noise and think and do absolutely nothing. Simply be aware of your breathing in all its details, the present moment and everything that you notice within it. If you get lost in thought, simply bring your attention back to watch your breath.
Tap into your spiritual self and practice slow deep abdominal breathing, yoga (especially Yin, prenatal, gentle and restorative), QiGong, Tai Chi, progressive muscle relaxation techniques (yoga nidra), visualization and guided imagery, or cutting edge stress reduction audio programs and courses. For example, imagine you are in a place where you feel whole, inner joy and peace, and spiritually connected. Or think of a healing or rejuvenating spiritual energy or light flowing through and around you. This is an essential, yet easy to learn, tool with endless benefits and rewards to your physical and emotional health. Locate your nearest Zen Center (Zen is NOT a religion and does not conflict with any religion) or read any book by Thich Nhat Hanh, Pema Chodron, or Shunryu Suzuki to learn the basics of meditation and Zen practice.
Make sure you are getting enough sleep at night, and rest during the day. Listen closely to your body’s messages. You may need to either slow down or become more busy with things that bring you deeper satisfaction and enrichment. You may need more time for yourself, or you may need to focus more on giving or helping others. It is extremely beneficial to find a small way to help someone in need each day, by giving your time, energy and presence to ease the burden and increase the happiness of even one person. Focus on connections with family and friends, healing relationships, making peace and giving love.
Minimize or avoid watching and reading the news, or take periodic news fasts. Unplug from the computer and smart phone as much as possible, especially reduce time spent on addictive programs and apps (including computer games, social media, and even email) as they increase inner stress, anxious feelings, impair well-being, and cause a variety of health issues. Empower yourself to listen to your body and choose limited times and online activities you enjoy or absolutely need to do. For additional information and guidance, read “How to Break Up With Your Phone: The 30 Day Plan to Take Back Your Life,” by Catherine Price.
BREATHWORK
Start with being breath awareness - being more conscious about your breath, and simply focusing all of your attention on your breathing. Get curious about all the details of your sensations as you inhale and exhale, without trying to change anything. Notice what you are currently seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling, tasting. Just watch without judgment. This brings you to the present and is deliciously relaxing.
Before going to bed at night, as well as before rising in the morning, periodically throughout the day, and whenever you feel stressed, triggered, down or upset, practice the following 3-part breathing exercise:
Exhale slowly through your mouth with an audible sigh while consciously releasing any and all muscle tension.
Imaging a pump expanding your abdomen and lower back as you breathe down deep into your belly.
Allow ribs to expand with air, then inhale air into your upper chest towards your collar bone and shoulders
Inhale in this way for a count of 4.
Hold for a count of 4 while staying relaxed.
Exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of 4, releasing in the same order as the inhale, collapsing/returning to baseline, your abdomen, ribs, then upper chest. This is the ideal form of breathing, as opposed to rapid shallow breathing. With each exhale, let go and relax more.
Repeat this cycle a total of 8 times or at least a few minutes.
Once you get the hang of it, play with various types of breathing. Try several minutes of inhaling and exhaling, each to a count of 3, 4, 5 or 6 without the hold, keeping it smooth and even. Then double the length of exhalation. For example, so if you inhale to a count of 3, then exhale to a count of 6.
See how it feels to triangle breathe for a few minutes. Inhale for a count of 3 or 4, exhale to the same count of 3 or 4, then pause for the same count of 3 or 4, while consciously and deeply relaxing your diaphragm muscle of respiration, as well as all other muscles. Repeat for several cycles.
Then see how it feels to box breathe. To do this, inhale to a count of 3, hold for a count of 6, exhale for a count of 6, hold for a count of 3. Repeat for several minutes. Many love this type of breathing so much they do it as often as they can, such as while waiting, in transit, before rising in the morning and going to sleep at night.
These are wonderful natural tranquilizers, especially if you do it often. While breathing, be mindful and just observe and release any muscle tension working your way slowly from head to toe, and then be mindful of what you are currently seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling, tasting (just watch without judgment …this brings you to the present and is wonderfully relaxing). You do this and you are getting the benefits of both slow deep breathing and meditation.
Another great breathwork technique that disengages your conscious attention from thought and relaxes the nervous system, and can be done any time (like when traveling, waiting in line, resting, bathing, or on the toilet) is forced exhalation. After a normal breath, try squeezing as much air out as possible using your intercostal muscles, then allow breath to come in naturally and deeply, but automatically. Repeat the cycle for several minutes.
These breathwork techniques are simple to do, health enhancing, totally safe, and without side effects. If you need more personal guidance, schedule a session with me.
LEARNING MATERIALS
For more information about thought and emotional mastery, and other great ways to improve your overall well-being, read more from the variety of resources below. Make a commitment to practice and transform your life for the better. It is beyond worth it to feel your absolute best. There are amazing books about miraculous tools to remedy wounds from the past, relieve internal stress, tap into your inner power and basically heal almost all stress-related problems of the heart, mind and body to live a vibrant, joyful life.
Some great books include:
Just Breathe by Dan Brule
Breath Love by Lauren Chelec Cafritz
Breathe Deep Laugh Loudly by Judith Kravitz
Conversations with the Goddesses by Agapi Stassinopoulos
Pussy: A Reclamation by Regina Thomashauer
Practicing the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
From Panic to Power by Lucinda Bassett
Change Your Thoughts Change Your Life by Wayne Dyer
Loving What Is by Byron Katie
Full Catastrophe Living by John Kabat-Zinn
Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach
True Refuge by Tara Brach
Accomplishing More by Doing Less by Marc Lesser Book
The Journey: A Practical Guide to Healing Your Life and Setting Yourself Free by Brandon Bays
Natural Health, Natural Medicine by Dr Andrew Weil
A Mind of Your Own: The Truth About Depression and How Women Can Heal Their Bodies to Reclaim Their Lives by Dr. Kelly Brogan
Own Your Self: The Surprising Path beyond Depression, Anxiety, and Fatigue to Reclaiming Your Authenticity, Vitality, and Freedom by Dr. Kelly Brogan
Websites
drwaynedyer.com for more resources from Dr Wayne Dyer.
thework.com for more from Byron Katie, about loving what is.
stresscenter.com to learn about Attacking Anxiety and Depression, a Self-Help, Self-Awareness Program.
behavioraltech.org to locate a cognitive behavioral therapist closest to you.
mbct.com for resources and info on a proven mindfulness-based cognitive approach to feelings of chronic unhappiness and depression.
mindfullivingprograms.com offers courses using the mindfulness-based stress reduction program (MBSR).
drweil.com to learn more from one of the founding fathers of integrative medicine - merging complimentary alternative health care with science addressing the mind, body, heart and spirit.
avivaromm.com is an excellent resource for herbs and natural remedies for common aliments facing women and children, including depression and anxiety, by renowned midwife, physician and herbalist, who bridges traditional wisdom with modern medicine.
neuroassist.com provides information regarding amino acid support for emotional health.
thejourney.com offers retreats and local practitioners teaching deeply awesome and extremely effective mindbody approaches to health.
kellybroganmd.com for wonderfully effective holistic and integrative psychiatric approaches to mental wellness without medication.
mamagenas.com the official site for Mama Gena’s School of the Womanly Arts, leader of a global movement to reclaim the feminine, helping countless women to reclaim their power, feel exquisitely comfortable within their bodies and souls, and live with radiant pleasure.
Ibfbreathwork.org the international organization for conscious breathing and breathwork for optimal health and well-being. This site also lists local practitioners and retreat workshops that are extremely transformational and profoundly healing for thousands and thousands of people around the world.
HERBAL STRESS RELIEF
Most of the supplements and herbal remedies I recommend are available on my customized online holistic apothecary. Find the best supplements that have gone through my thorough screening process there. Look in the category for mental/emotional well-being or search them individually. My online dispensary is a convenient way for you to purchase my hand-picked, professional-grade, whole food supplements and other natural health products. Ordering is simple, and the products will be shipped directly to your home or work within a few days.
Herbs are mentioned last, as they can be used as supportive to your personal growth and self mastery efforts and, except for nourishing tonics, are for short term use only. For best results, they should not be relied upon alone, used without the above mentioned techniques. Inner peace and happiness are an inside job.
Drink Red Raspberry leaf, Skullcap, Motherwort, Chamomile, Lemon balm and/or Lavender tea to relax you. Peppermint or Spearmint tea will lift your spirits. You can make a lovely calming infusion, which is more effective than the ready made teas, by mixing a pinch of each dried herb: chamomile, lavender and lemon balm. Add to 1 cup boiling water, steep covered in a glass mason jar for 15-20 minutes, strain, add lemon, fresh mint or honey to taste, and drink.
Nettle and Dandelion are common herbs recommended in pregnancy to take as a nourishing tonic, but they are also wonderful for regulating blood sugar, supporting the adrenals, improving nutrient intake and building iron levels. In turn, this can balance your emotions, lessen mood swings and irritability.
To make an infusion:
Soak a handful of each dried herb in 1 quart of boiling water for 3-4 hours.
Strain in a mason glass canning jar.
Add lemon or lime juice, fresh mint or honey to taste.
Drink 1-3 cups per day.
Nettle and Dandelion can also be taken as a tincture, 1 dropperful each 3-4 times daily.
Oatstraw works best to nourish and calm the nervous system when taken over time. You can add a generous pinch of the dried herb to the infusion above. Or, take 1 dropperful of the tincture of fresh creamy milky oat tops in its most potent form 1-2 times daily.
Motherwort is great for occasional use after the first trimester, to help restore emotional balance when feeling stressed, restless, irritable, or overwhelmed. Take 1/2 -1 dropperful of the tincture. Repeated if needed every 15-30 minutes for 3 hours or up to 2-3 times daily for 2-3 days.
Skullcap has a similar effect as Motherwort, but more helpful to calm, and can be used regularly. Take ½ - 1 dropperful of tincture a few times per day. Both Skullcap and Motherwort are helpful to have on hand in labor as well as postpartum.
Passionflower is a great herb to take when feeling cranky, short tempered, anxious or experiencing frequent changes of mood. Try ½-1 dropperful of the tincture or 2 capsules of standardized extract up to 3 times per day as needed.
Reishi Mushroom is an excellent natural remedy for stress and anxiety. It is calming and also helps with sleep. Take 1-2 capsules up to three times daily.
Valerian can be taken on occasion, especially if you can not fall asleep at night because of feeling stressed or anxious. Take 2 capsules of standardized extract or one dropperful of the tincture in juice to help with taste.
CBD from hemp oil. This is the new rage, as it is gently calming, relieves anxiety and helps with sleep without the potential risks of the THC component of cannabis on the developing fetus. Results from anecdotal evidence and preliminary research, although sparse (as is common with most natural remedies in pregnancy), are promising. Make sure it is absolutely pure, and from a reputable source who can recommend proper dosing or from pharmacies licensed to dispense it. It is usually taken as several drops under the tongue.
Bach Flower Rescue Remedy can be used in temporary stressful situations, 4-6 drops every 10-15 minutes for a few hours. Repeat as needed. There are many flower essences effective and safe for specific transient emotional symptoms on an energetic level, developed by physician Dr. Bach. If you are interested in exploring this modality, get yourself a wonderful reference and a a starter kit for you to use now and beyond for your growing family.
Homeopathic remedies are wonderfully safe and effective for relieving emotional stresses and imbalances. You can consult a classical homeopath, or refer to books like Homeopathy For Pregnancy, Birth and Your Baby’s First Year by Miranda Castro.
Dr. Aviva Romm advises in “The Natural Pregnancy Book” taking a small dose of American Ginseng, Schisandra Berries and Eleuthero, 1/2 tsp each alone or total in combination 2 times per day to nourish your adrenals especially if you are overtired, burned out, overworked or overstressed. I would say it is best to avoid them in the first trimester. See her recent more comprehensive blog on remedies to support your adrenals in stressed modern times.
St. John’s Wort can help relieve mild to moderate depression. Take it if you are not pregnant (although if you are expecting, it may be a safer alternative than the common antidepressant prescription medications, to take in consultation with your provider). Dr. Andrew Weil advises 300 mg three times per day of an extract standardized to 0.3 % hypericin. Allow at least 2 months for the full effect, and minimize sun exposure if you develop a photosensitivity reaction.
SAMe is another natural remedy for mild to moderate depression and/or anxiety. Dr. Andrew Weil recommends the butanedisulfonate form, in enteric coated capsules or tablets, 400–1600 mg. per day on an empty stomach.
If not pregnant, lavender Oil can be taken one capsule before sleep for the occasional bout of insomnia or anxiety. You can try Blue Vervain, 1/2 to one dropperful 1-3 x daily. Also take Rhodiola - as a tonic herb for mild depression, anxiety and stress, 100-200 mg twice daily. Choose an extract standardized to 2-3% rosavins and 0.8-1% salidrosides. This usually improves anxiety and sleep, but needs to be taken more regularly. Obviously stop it if it is too stimulating and worsens insomnia. You can also try Ashwagandha, if you feel overstressed and burned out. Dissolve 1-2 tsp of the powder in your smoothie, tea or warm milk for 5-10 minutes 2-3 times per day. Or, take 2-3 dropperfuls of the tincture twice daily and before sleep, or 2-5 grams of the capsules daily in divided doses. One of my favorite remedies for calming anxiety and inner stress related insomnia is Kava Kava. You can take a few drops up to a dropperfuls of the tincture or 150 -450 mg of the encapsulated liquid capsules before bed for occasional short term use only. Do not use if you are taking any substance including alcohol or medications that affect the liver, or you have any liver issues. This is one of my favorite herbs for anxiety and/or insomnia from inner stress and is usually well tolerated and very effective.
Dr. Aviva Romm is an excellent resource for herbs and natural remedies for depression and anxiety, and if you are struggling with psychological symptoms, integrative holistic psychiatrist Dr. Kelly Brogan’s online course and associated resources are a must.
Contact your provider if these suggestions do not help and your negative emotions are persistent and becoming too frequent or strong to cope with, especially if you:
Have a history of depression or anxiety needing prescription medication
Are having trouble functioning
Are eating or sleeping too much or too little
Have frightening thoughts
Experience severe oscillation of moods between wild elation and despair
Feel at risk for harming yourself or others
Such severe symptoms require psychiatric evaluation and often medication to prevent or treat a more serious illness. However, try to avoid mind-altering drugs and medications (such as sedatives, tranquilizers, sleeping pills, antihistamines and steroids) unless absolutely and medically necessary.
Do not take any herb or medication before discussing it with your provider, as many are not safe for use in pregnancy. Do not take any prescription anti-anxiety or anti-depressant drug unless you are really suffering and none of these suggestions help, and you are closely supervised by your psychiatrist.
Check out my number one international best selling book Natural Birth Secrets second edition, and in adjunct, my Love Your Birth course, an online version of how I have helped thousands in my local practice. Both resources are unique, but each provide an in depth, one-of-a-kind holistic approach created by me, a seasoned nurse midwife of over two decades, who has seen everything! In both you will learn how to master your inner calm for pregnancy, labor, birth and life beyond.
40 Ways to Manage Emotions in Pregnancy and Beyond
Powerful, often conflicting emotions, can feel like a troublesome part of pregnancy. Hormonal and physical changes, as well as the associated stresses of pregnancy and having a baby may cause pronounced mood swings. Common and normal feelings include:
Excitement, joy, elation
Gratitude, enrichment, love
Creativity, clarity
Ambivalence, impatience, vulnerability
Apathy, indifference
Confusion, self-doubt, insecurity
Guilt, shame, burden
Fear, anxiety
Sadness, grief, resentment
You may feel beautiful, sensual and voluptuous. Or, you may feel fat, unattractive and asexual. Pregnant women often have increased sensitivity, a heightened sense of perception and awareness, and notice stronger reactions than usual.
These emotions can be especially troublesome if you are not eating or sleeping well, have experienced psychological problems in the past, have other health problems or pregnancy complications, do not have sufficient support from family or friends, the pregnancy was not planned, or there are other major stresses in your life.
First and foremost, know you are not your emotions. They usually come after thoughts; some call them thoughts in motion. Look at emotions as sensations in the body without the story, that come and go like waves, or like the sun, clouds and rain. They are never permanent but change like the weather. Emotions are a part of you, they all are a sacred part of being human; but see your true essence above and unaffected by it all. Just as there is the perfect warm sunny day with a cloudless blue sky, there are thunderstorms with great wind and rain, and blizzards with snow; there are periods of darkness and periods of light. You can absolutely be in charge of how you feel rather than at mercy to your emotions. You can learn to embrace all of your sensations without attaching to any particular one, and ride the waves of life with grace, ease, and a deep sense of joy. It takes regular practice, yet so doable.
Most of the supplements and herbal remedies I recommend are available on my customized online holistic apothecary. Find the best supplements that have gone through my thorough screening process there. Look in the category for mental/emotional well-being or search them individually. My online dispensary is a convenient way for you to purchase my hand-picked, professional-grade, whole food supplements and other natural health products. Ordering is simple, and the products will be shipped directly to your home or work within a few days.
40 Ways to Manage Emotions in Pregnancy and Beyond
1. Seek balance in your emotional life, instead of going for highs, and the lows that follow.
2. Get extra needed sleep in pregnancy by going to bed earlier, sleeping later, and/or napping during the day, as well as allowing periodic rest from a hectic routine.
3. Make sure to eat a nourishing wholesome organic diet that includes fresh fruits and veggies, whole grains, beans, nuts, seeds, tofu, tempeh, and other protein like free-range pastured beef, lamb, poultry, and eggs. Many feel best completely off gluten, dairy, soy and all forms of cane sugar; instead go Paleo, an ancestral whole or real food diet high in pastured organic animal protein and healthy fat, plenty of fruits, veggies, nuts and seeds, with free use of herbs, spices and healthier sugars like raw honey.
4. Get natural sources of omega fatty acids like wild Alaskan Salmon, and healthy fat in cold pressed extra virgin olive oil, or coconut oil.
5. Stay hydrated with at least 64 oz/day of filtered, spring or well water.
6. Limit or even better, avoid processed foods, refined white flour and sugar, refined vegetable oils, and artificial colorings and chemicals.
7. Take a good all natural whole-food based prenatal vitamin and mineral supplement.
8. Avoid alcohol and caffeine.
9. Engage in at least 30 minutes 5 times per week of regular moderate exercise like brisk walking, dancing, swimming, cycling, low impact aerobics or other such activity you enjoy and are accustomed to.
10. Get plenty of fresh air and adequate exposure to sunlight.
11. Set your circadian clock by spending at least 20 minutes outside with nature in the early morning each day.
12. During the day get out in bright natural daytime light, or if can not go outside, use 150-200 watt incandescent bulbs or full spectrum fluorescent lamps that supply 2,500 or more lux and keep the light within 3 feet of where you are sitting.
13. Become intensely conscious of the present, and acutely sensitive to your feelings and inner experiences, using all of your senses. Get real curious. Observe, watch and allow whatever comes up without judgment or thought.
14. Try to stay away from things (like certain books, movies and news), situations and people (like those who are angry, stressed out, negative, pessimistic, critical, fearful or demanding) that agitate your mind, raise your internal tension, bring you down and worsen your emotional state.
15. If someone who you are close with continually criticizes, belittles, demands or negates your feelings, try to give positive straightforward suggestions about approaches that would be more helpful to you, or consider having this person come with you to some professional counseling sessions.
16. Surround yourself as much as possible with calm, centered, and positive people, things, sounds and places that inspire, uplift, relax and restore you to inner peace and serenity.
17. Periodically rub the essential oil of rose into your pulse points and spray rose water on yourself throughout the day.
18. Treat yourself to a massage each month, or ask your partner or friend for one regularly. Include a few drops each of any combination of the essential oils of lavender, orange, citrus blend, rose, St John’s Wort and/or chamomile. Make your own mixture in a bottle of almond oil.
19. Bring more art and music into your life.
20. Try to allow time each day to do something you enjoy, and something that makes you laugh.
21. Collect at least 8 deep, soul-nurturing hugs per day.
22. Keep a journal or diary as a way to be honest with yourself about your feelings and increase self-awareness and understanding. Try to write free flow without editing, draw and write poems as you are inspired.
23. Share important feelings with your partner, a close friend or family member, transformational life coach or a professional therapist. Suppressed emotions are ultimately more damaging and they can cause all sorts of physical, psychological and relationship problems if not properly dealt with.
24. Periodically release pent up emotions with a good cry, followed by a good hug. Do not hesitate to share with your friends and family so they can be more sensitive to your needs.
25. Get out of your head and into your body. Put on some music like African drumming and start dancing and moving to the music as if nobody is watching. Dancing will help you move through the tough emotions of grief and anger, tap into your inner joy, your playfulness, your aliveness, even your sensuality and sassiness. Toddlers embody and move their strong emotions with temper tantrums, reset and then get back to playing. Many indigenous cultures dance their emotions in community drum circles.
26. Make the practices of authentic yoga, (especially gentle, prenatal and/or restorative), meditation, breath awareness, visualization, and yoga nidra/progressive muscle relaxation a regular part of your daily routine, even if just for 20-30 minutes each morning or evening. There are many books, audio CDs and hypnobirthing MP3s for pregnancy to help you learn these important life skills, and now there are wonderful phone apps like Breathe and Calm.
27. Check out the emWave personal stress reliever from the Institute of HeartMath for a wonderful hypnotherapy and biofeedback tool to lessen your body’s reactions to stress.
28. Surrender to and embrace the cycles of life and its ups and downs and ups again, and know that day always follows night, and light always comes after darkness.
29. Take a soothing bath each night, or when stressed, enhanced with 1 cup of Epsom Salts, and few drops of essential oil of lavender, orange or rose or a few fresh rose petals and lavender. Light a few of your favorite candles and enjoy some quiet, relaxing “me” time.
30. Sprinkle a few drops of the above essential oils on your pillow or put them in a diffuser next to your bed to promote a more restful sleep and reduce irritability.
31. Make a commitment to unplug as much as possible, to reconnect with yourself, others and the world around you….and feel so much better. For incredible insight and guidance breaking the common modern addiction to the iphone and computer, read the book “How to Break Up With Your Phone” by Catherine Price. Wear Shungite or Black Tourmaline jewelry to mitigate EMR exposure.
32. Avoid overscheduling yourself.
33. Change work hours to avoid rush hour traffic and allow more time to get places.
34. Be clear about your priorities and rearrange your schedule to protect the health of you and your growing baby.
35. Ask family and friends to help you with chores or child care.
36. Treat yourself to hired help and healthy take out meals.
37. Let go, and delegate work responsibilities that you can. You do not need to do everything.
38. Rescue an affectionate and playful dog and or cat to snuggle and have fun with.
39. Schedule a Breathwork session and allow yourself to experience its wonderful life changing benefits!
40. If you feel depressed, anxious or are troubled by strong feelings and emotions that persist or worsen despite these suggestions take renowned holistic integrative psychiatrist Dr. Kelly Brogan’s online course - it is a life saver. For more personal guidance, consult your physician or midwife or schedule a consultation with me. If you are feeling overwhelmed, or do not even know what questions to ask, I can help you! There are many ways to heal emotional pain and trauma naturally and holistically, whether or not you need medication.
Life is stressful and always has been. Eliminating all outside stress, especially that which we can not control, is not an option. We can only work on changing our outlook about stressors we cannot change. This involves deep profound and rewarding transformation, cultivating spirituality, and an attitude of surrender and acceptance. Realize that very little in life outside of our own way of thinking and behaving is in our control, and know that everything happens for our ultimate benefit, even if we do not understand why. You can learn to activate your own relaxation response to stressors and quiet your nervous system with breath awareness and relaxation techniques, mastery over your thoughts, and also by modifying what you can in your day to make it less stressful and more in alignment with your core values.
Understanding what your body is capable of can begin to give you the confidence you need to begin planning your natural birth. My Love Your Birth course can help you prepare for the entire process from beginning to end.
You’ll equally learn how to cope with and handle labor pains...so much so that you can love your experience no matter how challenging.
The right preparation really begins with a shift in mindset, not just about labor but in what you and your body are capable of doing.
Preparing for Pregnancy
There are so many things to consider when preparing for pregnancy
Every momma wants to give her baby the best possible start in life. Preparing for pregnancy will enhance your own health for fertility success, and set yourself up to provide a healthy environment for your baby.
But, where do you start? Taking a natural, holistic approach to preparing for pregnancy includes optimizing your diet, supplements, physical movement and state-of-mind. This is a less invasive, less expensive, and much healthier approach for both momma and baby before even considering the standard fertility treatments.
Eating for a Healthy Pregnancy
When preparing for pregnancy, it’s best to eat a wide variety of fresh, whole, plant-based foods and adequate protein. Your plate should be beautiful and colorful with plenty of varied vegetables, fruits, whole grains, beans, some nuts and seeds, seasoned with fresh herbs and spices. Look for:
Organic. Free of chemical fertilizers and pesticides that can damage fetal development, this is the best option for produce. Use the Dirty Dozen as a basic guide. These foods are to be either eaten organic or avoided.
Local. Choosing local typically means the food is at the peak of freshness, grown in your locality, maintaining more nutritional integrity.
Colorful. The various colors of fruits and vegetable provides differing nutrients. Make sure you’re eating a full spectrum of color to get a well-rounded diet.
Unprocessed. Chemical additives, preservatives, artificial sweeteners, food coloring and genetic modification can all negatively affect your health and your baby’s. If it comes in packaging, it’s probably not the best option.
Sugar-free. Sugar is damaging to you and your baby’s cells, and disrupts gut flora; it negatively impacts your pregnancy, and how you feel physically and emotionally. Sugar is found in almost all processed food. Look out for marketing tricks, like using four or five different types of sweeteners so manufacturers don’t have to list it as the first ingredient. Stick with natural sugars like in fruit, and if you must add a sweetener, a tad of pure raw honey or maple syrup is better.
Gluten-Free &/or Dairy-Free. Most women feel best when they are gluten-free. Try removing it from your diet for a week and see if you feel better in your mind and body, gain more energy or clarity. Many also feel better off cow dairy, but tolerate goat or sheep dairy products. Try a different week without it and note how you feel.
Hormone & Antibiotic-Free. Whenever possible, select the highest-quality organic meats and animal products, including wild fish from non polluted waters. If the animal food you’re eating was treated with hormones and antibiotics, your body and baby will be affected by that. And consider that most farm animals are fed genetically modified (GMO) corn and feed that is highly sprayed with pesticides. Animals who are free to move in the sunshine and graze in the green pastures, as they did for thousands of years before the modernization of the farming industry, produce the healthiest meat, diary and eggs for human consumption.
Healthy fats. Your body needs plenty of high-quality fat, especially when preparing for pregnancy. Ideally, you should be eating wild Alaskan or Norwegian salmon at least twice per week as well as healthy oils. Use extra virgin olive oil on cold foods (like for salad dressing) and light sautéing, and coconut oil or organic grass-fed butter for cooking at higher temperatures.
Hydration. Don’t forget to drink plenty of fresh spring or filtered water throughout the day. Work your way up to half your body weight in ounces. For example, if you weigh 150 pounds drink 75 ounces of water daily.
Preparing for Pregnancy with Supplements
In a perfect world, we would get all the nutrients we need from our food. But, with today’s industrialization of food and depleted soils, that has become virtually impossible. Additionally, the standard American diet is really empty of needed nutrition and even those of us with the best intentions do not eat all of what is needed for the health of ourselves or our pregnancies. The supplements you need when preparing for pregnancy will depend on your specific situation. Chat with me to find the best supplements for your body.
However, there are a few supplements that every woman should take daily. I take them myself and recommend them to all my clients. Following this supplement protocol has blessed me with feeling wonderfully vital and rarely getting sick - even when a bug is going around my house.
So what’s my supplement magic? I take whole food organic supplements from trusted, high quality, professional grade companies, including:
A multivitamin/mineral combination
Methylated folate in B complex
Calcium, magnesium, and D complex
Omega three fatty acids
Herbal iron depending on your iron stores
Mega-Probiotics that are colon and urogenital specific for women
My online dispensary is a convenient way for you to purchase my hand-picked, professional-grade, whole food supplements and other natural health products. Ordering is simple by category (listed in the prenatal section), and the products will be shipped directly to your home or work within a few days.
For more details on food and supplements for pregnancy check out my Natural Birth Secrets book, and in even greater depth, my online course.
Exercise for a Healthy Pregnancy and Beyond
Movement is another important aspect of preparing for pregnancy. Not only will a strong, agile and flexible body provide a safer prenatal home for baby, it will help you avoid aches and pains along the way, reduce inner stress, help in labor and even postpartum recovery. The right exercise can also get your body ready to ease your baby into a perfect birthing position.
Ultimately, the best exercise is that which you enjoy, so you stick with it. Vary activities that you love, and incorporate it into your life so it doesn’t feel stressful. Here are some types of movement to consider:
Walking. This is a great place to start if you’re someone who currently isn’t getting much exercise. Begin with a leisurely 15-minute walk every day, and build up to 45-60 minutes at a faster pace.
Yoga. Yoga will not only strengthen your body and make you more flexible, it’s been known to decrease stress and enhance your overall well-being as well. There are tremendous health benefits to regular yoga practice. There are even fertility yoga classes out there, designed with just this topic in mind! I teach private yoga classes, including yoga workshops for pregnancy and labor, as well as postpartum - which can be done locally or on Skype.
Dance. Dancing is such a great way to keep healthy and active! It is so much fun, and is a direct path to feeling awesome without realizing you are also getting a fabulous workout. It relieves stress, helps you feel and move emotions, and creates happy for you, and for your baby; your stress hormones as well as your happy love hormones pass through the placenta to baby....and both are contagious to those around you. Dancing also helps you tap into your sensual or sassy sexy, which is beneficial in pregnancy, labor and life! Dancing in labor uses gravity and asymmetrical movements to ease baby down and out through a wider birth canal. Start by taking dance classes, but you can also just turn on the music regularly and dance like no one is watching. I give group and private healing movement workshops - called Femme!, which is a wonderful experience for both men and women.
Weight-training. If you are not called to yoga or dance, back, arm, leg and core exercises help align your body and are great preparation for the uneven weight of pregnancy. Squatting helps prepare for delivery.
Pilates. Pilates has a strong emphasis on core conditioning and is also great for mommas-to-be.
Swim. It gets you outside, connected to nature and immersed in healing waters that soothes the soul. Swimming and water aerobics are also great ways to be active. In advancing pregnancy, it relieves common aches and discomforts, and pregnant women love the sense of weightlessness they feel in water.
If you’re someone who currently has an intense workout regimen and are having trouble conceiving, consider dialing it back to a lower intensity. Otherwise, moderately moving your body and being active each day is the way to go.
Tapping into Mindfulness and Joy
Reducing inner stress and living in joy are central to preparing for pregnancy. Inner stress can actually prevent pregnancy. Many of us recognize that we have grown out of alignment with our true natural being and it's time to get back to our original design.... get back in touch with the cyclic nature of our human bodies, our minds, our hearts and our spirits. The thoughts we think and the perspective we carry while preparing for pregnancy are incredibly influential.
Find ways to slow down, unplug and enjoy the journey. Make sure you are well rested, and getting 7-8 hours of sleep each night. Practice saying “no” to anything that doesn’t bring you calm and pleasure during this time. Explore ways to bring joy back into the things that aren’t optional. Stay as much as possible in the present moment, one moment, one breath at a time; practicing mindfulness - anchoring into what is going on around you and the sensations within you in the now transforms your life and will benefit your labor immensely. Consider a daily practice of mediation, journaling, and creating any form of art to help your body keep in a calm and joyful state. Decide to live a glorious life; dress and treat yourself like the goddess you are. Focus on what you have to be grateful for and all the blessings in your life. Connect more in community with those you love, and those who inspire you. Clear your body of trapped emotional pain, trauma and internal stress, and transform self limiting beliefs and thought patterns with Clarity Breathwork. Turn negative thoughts into positive affirmations, for example: My body is strong and healthy for pregnancy or I am the perfect age to become a mother; empowering uplifting thoughts are usually the opposite of, and more true than the false stories we typically tell ourselves.
Acupuncture is a great way to relax and has the added bonus of hormone regulation and improved ovarian function. Many women who had some initial trouble conceiving often get pregnant after receiving acupuncture by a practitioner with expertise in fertility; I have seen it used in conjunction with routine infertility treatments, and have seen successful pregnancies even after several IVF attempts failed.
We’ve discussed a lot of lifestyle factors here. Some might be big changes for you. Don’t let them overwhelm you. I’m a huge fan of the 80-20 rule. Spend 80% of your efforts on achieving optimal habits and allow yourself the freedom to enjoy the other 20% without guilt.
Fertility Awareness
Learn the signs of fertility so you can make sure you have intercourse during the small window of time when you are likely to conceive, you get the most accurate estimation of pregnancy dating, and you will even know when you are pregnant before you can take a pregnancy test. This is key, and will also provide helpful information as to causes of difficulties should you need professional guidance. I cover this in more detail in my Natural Birth Secrets book.
For further inspiration and optimal health during pregnancy, birthing and postpartum, please make sure to click here to take my online Love Your Birth course, so you can ROCK your journey wherever and however you plan to give birth.
Postpartum Struggles Are Real
Statistics show that about 15% of new mommas experience postpartum depression. And 70-80% of us experience “baby blues,” that 2 week period after the baby’s born when we can feel confused, overwhelmed, sensitive and just not ourselves.
If this is you, you’re obviously not alone. Here’s what you need to know: There is no failure in pregnancy, birth and postpartum.
You can move with grace through potential sadness, grief, fear, and anger to embrace and heal from your experience. When you are struggling with feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, depressed or anxious, unconfident and unsure, a holistic postpartum plan can give you back your joy and confidence. You got this. But it takes a village to raise a baby and new parents. Sometimes we just need a little guidance and support - especially in modern times.
I know what it’s like to experience birth trauma and struggle to put it behind me. Or to try to find balance when there’s a new baby in the house - when the idea of “me time” seems like a cruel joke.
After My Own Last Birth I was Sick and Alone
Even as a nurse-midwife, I found myself in a postpartum situation that confused and scared me.
Several weeks after the baby was born, I began to feel like I was over caffeinated. My thoughts were racing, I was extremely agitated, panicked, completely overwhelmed and unable to function. Making decisions felt impossible and I couldn’t sleep. I felt faint, and was losing weight.
I was ashamed and embarrassed. How could I, an expert, find myself in such a state of confusion and intolerable symptoms of anxiety? I didn’t want to ask for help. The people I did ask were unable to treat me, and my husband was confused and worried.
I started to have scary and repetitive thoughts. Noises seemed too loud. Faces seemed too big. What the hell was wrong with me?! I felt like I was drugged. Somehow I suspected my thyroid was off, so I asked my colleague to draw my labs. Then I nearly passed out.
After a call to 911 and subsequent visits to a postpartum stress center, I learned that I had postpartum thyroiditis, an autoimmune condition in which the thyroid initially makes too much hormone, before not making enough.
The diagnosis gave me the confidence to finally accept help. I knew now that I wasn’t crazy. I knew I shouldn’t be embarrassed...but I was at the time. I stayed with my mother, who lived several hours away - near the center - for an entire month. And my husband and friends all worked together to care for my other kids at home.
I had to stop work for an entire year while recovering from my illness. And it took me a number of years to fully heal using a comprehensive holistic approach. My yoga and meditation practice were life changing, but the complete healing happened after intensive Clarity Breathwork sessions. It was the most delicious and miraculous feeling of relief I ever experienced.
The Forgotten Fourth Trimester
Throughout history, children were raised in communities. When a woman labored, she was surrounded by friends and family. She was attended to by the community midwife, often the same person who was there for the births of all the other babies in the area and potentially even her own birth. After birth, she was off duty to rest, recover, and get the breastfeeding, while her tribe cooked, cleaned, took care of the other kids, and did needed errands.
Now, we live separated from our families, often experience pregnancy through postpartum more or less alone, and deliver our babies amongst strangers. A sister or mother-in-law might stay with us briefly after our babies are born, but then we’re on our own.
In the US, women are sent home alone after a few days in the hospital, and maternity leave is shockingly brief. We’re expected to pick up at work right where we left off after just a few short weeks at home with our new baby. Paternity leave is almost non-existent in this country, except for some more progressive family friendly workplaces.
Of course so many of us experience depression, anxiety, worry, and a lack of confidence! This way of viewing motherhood is simply unnatural. You can’t institutionalize the sacred.
But, thriving postpartum is possible. Especially when you go into it with a plan.
How to thrive postpartum
If you’re currently struggling in your “fourth trimester,” here are some tips you can implement right away to take the edge off.
Exercise. Try to make time for whatever type of movement feels good to you. Have someone take the baby while you go to a class. Put her in the stroller and go for a walk. Put on a workout video while she’s napping. Turn on some music that reflects your mood and move your emotions with your body; then turn on something upbeat and dance like noone is watching.
Connect with your community. Join a mommy support group either online or in-person. Reach out to friends and family that tend to cheer you up or make you feel comforted. Ask a neighbor to join you for a walk. Take a postpartum mommy and me yoga class. Don’t be afraid to open up about how you’re feeling. You might be surprised how many people can relate. And make sure to get daily soul nurturing hugs.
Meditate. Taking time to center down can make a big difference in our energy and confidence. Spend quiet time in nature. If you’re not accustomed to meditation, find a guided audio to listen to or just turn on some relaxing instrumental music, get comfortable and focus on your breath.
Nap. Now is not the time to stress about housework. Sleep deprivation leads to depression, anxiety, reduced memory and concentration, weight gain and a host of other health problems. Allow yourself to nap when the baby’s napping. The housework can wait.
Skip the sugar. Regularly eating sweets and simple carbs like breads and pastries puts us through a vicious cycle. Sugar crashes lead to low energy and low moods, which lead to carb cravings. Stick to fresh whole foods - and add more protein and healthy fat for a balanced diet and a balanced mood.
Do what you love. Each day, do things that bring you joy - even if it is for a few minutes at first. Think about what excites you and try to do more of it in your regular routine. Let it be easy and simple. That may be a quiet cup of tea, a visit with your friend, a stroll in the park, a flower or herbal bath in candlelight, watching comedy, getting a massage, doing some yoga. As baby gets older, make taking some time to yourself each day to do these things a non-negotiable like eating, drinking and sleeping.
Seek help. When your sadness or anxiety feels like more than “baby blues,” seek a qualified professional to help you through it. If, like me, you have an undiagnosed medical condition, the suggestions above just won’t be enough.
I have a holistic approach to life, including healing after pregnancy and birthing. Nothing replaces abdominal toning and exercise for restoring muscle strength and tone - which I encourage for all mamas as soon as they feel up to it postpartum. Nothing replaces touch, slow deep abdominal breathing, and a 'love your postpartum body' perspective that I promote. But I have found many mamas simply feel comforted by this support garment, especially early postpartum and temporarily as needed....to be used without forfeiting abdominal toning and strengthening exercise, breathing well and touch.
I have found Bellefit supportive garments to help like they use belly binding around the world such as in Indonesia. They do aid in early postpartum healing and provide support many mamas feel comforted by. I deal with human beings and the reality is many postpartum mom's struggle with body image, feel frustrated that getting back to themselves takes longer than expected. Being into holistic health and healing includes being sensitive to real human struggles - the mind, body, heart and soul of each person and their unique situation. Having helped countless women with these issues after having a baby as a midwife, I have found many still love that binding and feel better with this support, and ability to fit into their pre-pregnancy clothes comfortably and sooner than they would if they went through a C-section or natural childbirth recovery without it - especially when they have to dress up and fit into a certain favorite outfit for a special occasion or wedding not long after having a baby.
For more info on the Bellefit girdle, check out my blog about it here. Have a Great Postpartum Recovery (with a little help from Bellefit)!
Excellent childbirth education and preparation in advance are crucial for rocking your birth and postpartum experience, and are major reasons why I created my Love Your Birth course. It is a comprehensive online course that teaches women what they need to know about planning and carrying out the birth that they want in all settings - the hospital, birthing center or at home. It’s a course on how to have a holistic, healthy pregnancy through postpartum - for the body, mind, and soul - and is how I have guided thousands of women and their families in my midwifery practice for over 21 years. It contains a rolodex of my favorite resources with over 200 of the best books, movies and supplies I use personally and professionally with my clients, family & friends. Even diving into a fraction of this list will have you feeling empowered and prepared for conception, pregnancy, postpartum and parenting...It includes resources on improving and even ensuring ensuring healthier pregnancy and birth outcomes than the status quo, and preventing and healing from birth trauma so prevalent in the modern world! I also help you prepare your mindset for such a task, to debunk myths, and to reframe any current ideas or conditioning about pregnancy, birth and postpartum that can use a change in perspective or that are simply incorrect and do serve you. After finishing the course, the idea is that you are now able to create and have the healthy, beautiful and empowering journey through pregnancy, birth and new parenthood that you really want.